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Original poster

Santa - WHY?

108 replies

Blackduck · 22/12/2006 11:32

Just musing on this the other day. DS is 3 and a half. We haven't pushed the santa thing (but neither have we not talked about it either) in that we haven't got him to write a Christams list or anything like that. I am starting to have a fundamental problem with telling him a man in a red suit (TM Coke Cola circa 1930) will be delivering him his presents on Christams Eve (if he's been a good boy). The letter writing wishlist seems to me to just put even more pressure on parents. This isn't Bah Humbug either, I'm just trying to think it through. I find it quite worrying when my ILs told me that the oldest GD (now eleven) has only just be told/realises that Santa doesn't exist (I'm sure I knew LONG before this....) So what are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Mincepiedermama · 22/12/2006 14:21

Good post roselea. I'm Spidermama btw.

roseylea · 22/12/2006 14:22

Nice variation on your name! I couldn't think of anything suitably festive, and I only recently changed from Texasrose to Roseylea (everyone kept thinking i was American !!)

wannaBeOnTopOfTheChristmasTree · 22/12/2006 14:40

I do find it incredibly sad that there are children who are afraid of a ?strange man breaking into their house?. Wherever do children that young get the notion that Santa breaks into the house? I think it?s magical, it?s fantacy, and it?s all too short. In years to come our children will have to get to grips with the real world, and all their innocence will be lost. Why is it that we have to take that innocence away from them so much younger to save our own conscience? Because let?s face it, people who feel it?s wrong to tell their children about santa aren?t doing it for the benefit of the child are they?

My ds can?t wait, every time he plays jingle bells on that infuriatingly annoying elc keyboard of his he says ?do you think father Christmas can hear that? Is he on his slay yet? I want to see him?. And I?ve explained that he only comes at night, when all little boys and girls are fast asleep. He?s so very very excited, and wants to make fairy cakes to put out for Santa on Christmas eve, I?d better remember to eat them or the dogs will be tucking into fairy cakes while the world is asleep .

But I know that before too long he will grow up and the magic will have disappeared, and instead of slay bells and reindeer and father christmas, it?ll be about what presents you can ask mum and dad for and searching the house to try and find the Christmas presents that he knows we?ve been out and bought.

Mercy · 22/12/2006 14:43

Yes, agree re Roseylea's post

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 22/12/2006 14:47

Another thread about us killjoys! Yippee!

I tell my kids about the legend of FC, but I explain that he is not real today and he is not the reason we celebrate Christmas. We celebrate the birth of Christ, not the birth of FC. I talk to them about angels and the magic of Christmas and I really don't think they miss out because I don't tell them about a fat man in a red suit.

I think it just encourage kids to want and want and want. Writing wish lists etc. To me Christmas is about giving, doing good deeds etc. Living the Christian message I suppose. I don't see that FC has any part to play in that. It's a nice story, that's all.

hulababy · 22/12/2006 14:51

I disagree that FC makes children greedy and to just want. DD knows that her gifts come from friends and family. She is also part of the giving part of presents - for her own friends and grandparents, etc. She spent a good hour in the toy shop carefully choosing gifts that her friends would really like. She took pleasure in wrapping them for them and writing the labels. DD also writes thank you notes to everyone after Christmas.

Just curious as TBH it is older children, who don't believe in FC, I see who ask for most and the more expensive items.

I think it is very much down to the adults input as to whether your child becomes want, want, want or expects more and more all the time - not some magical made up man in a red suit.

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 22/12/2006 14:56

But I think it does encourage them though Hula. They write letters asking for presents and are always going on about how many presents they will get from Santa. Christmas isn't just about presents, but the message you get from FC is that it is.

No, I'm sure it's not all to blame, but it does play a part in it.

trice · 22/12/2006 15:00

I am sure that my parents still believe in Father Christmas. I certainly wouldn't want to be the one to disillusion them. They have certainly never told me it wasn't true. I can't understand the feeling of betrayal some of you obviously felt when you found out it was just your mum and dad giving you some lovely presents and then not taking the credit for their generosity. Ds is 5 and has asked for the gift of flight and invisibility. He is getting a drum kit.

I really love sharing the opening ceremony and all the excitement of pretending that I don't know what they got.

Mercy · 22/12/2006 15:02

Your parents still believe in FC?!

DeckthehallswithboughsofhollyL · 22/12/2006 15:05

I was one of those kids who couldn't bear the thought of FC in my house and was sooo pleased when mum and dad told me it was really them! We didn't have a chimney so I could never quite work out how he got in the house, but it scared the life out of me nonetheless.

DD is 2.11 now and is hooked on the whole magic of FC and Christmas. She does attend nursery full time (I work there although not in her room)so I think she gets a lot of it from her friends.

I don't think as she gets older that I will encourage her to write wish lists, because to a certain extent, I agree that it couls make some children want want want and I don't want her to be like those children.

At the same time though, I agree that although it is a fictional story (in preference to an outright lie imo) children should be taught the real reason behind Christmas (and we're not very religious either) that way she won't feel as though we have lied to her when the time comes that she knows its not real. If that makes any sense!

hulababy · 22/12/2006 15:13

I think we will have to agree to disagree. I truely believe it all depends on how we, as the adults, deal with it all.

For my DD FC brings her just one or two gifts, not the rest. When she saw FC and wrote her letter she asked for just that main gift. I didn't allow her to write a massive list - it isn't how we do FC here. She will get loads of presents - quite big families and only grandchild one side, and one of only two on the other - so no other children to buy for and the grown ups like buying for the children here. But DD is very aware of who they come from, they haven't been asked for and she does her thank you letters.

Mincepiedermama · 22/12/2006 15:18

WannabeonTree ...
'Wherever do children that young get the notion that Santa breaks into the house?'. Um, we tell them. We tell them a strange, fat man in red comes down the chimney. Bright kids are going to question this, naturally. It's up to each individual how they want to proceed. For me it becomes a breach of trust when the child is old enough to genuinely want to understand. My four year old, on the other hand, is still away with the fairies so is happy to lose himself in anyone's fantasy so I'm not going to bust it up for him.

I suppose I take the lead from the child. When the child scratches the surface and shows a genuine desire to know facts about the myth, that's when they're looking for you to tell the truth ime and each child will be different.

hulababy · 22/12/2006 15:29

But that isn't breaking and entering. FC is invited into our home, via his magic key. We leave him a drink and a snack, along with food for the reindeer. DD knows FC is a king, lovely man. She has never once been worried that he might not be or that he is doing something scary by coming into our home. Again, I think a lot depends on how you tell them and how you go about it all.

Mincepiedermama · 22/12/2006 15:34

Or the extent to wish you're willing to embellish or pedal it hula.

wannaBeOnTopOfTheChristmasTree · 22/12/2006 15:35

agree with hula, surely if you put out drinks and snacks for him and carrots for the reindeer then fc is a guest who has been invited into your house? i mean how many of us put out drinks and snacks on the off chance a burgler might come calling?

PollyannaInExcelcis · 22/12/2006 15:42

I have very mixed feelings about the whole Father Christmas thing. I go along with it because dh didn't want to dispel the myth, and because they do enjoy believing. I personally don't think that missing out FC would make Christmas any less exciting or magical for them.

I don't embellish the story at all (I really don't like telling them to be good or FC won't come). I think ds nearly 8 is starting to have doubts. my dds are scared of fc coming into their room so we have to leave stockings downstairs.

I refuse to go along with the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny. (bah humbug )

Socci · 22/12/2006 16:12

Message withdrawn

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 22/12/2006 16:14

Who said that then?

Do you tell your kids about baby Jesus? If not why not? Because you feel it's a lie perhaps? Well FC is not part of our tradition so why should I tell my kids a lie? I believe in JC not FC and I tell my kids what I believe in. Good grief next thing you'll be berating us for not telling them about the sodding Easter Bunny!

Glitterygookwithchocsonthetree · 22/12/2006 16:14

I'm just absolutely stunned at the complete over analysis of the whole thing!! The number of threads on MN about it is unbelievable and the number of people who bleat on about lying. Jeez.

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 22/12/2006 16:17

Yeah! I'm with Gooky!

nothercules · 22/12/2006 16:44

Agree totally with gliitery!

SenoraPartridge · 22/12/2006 16:48

how is fc not part of our tradition? it may not have originated in Britain, but then neither did the christ story.

I've told dd about both fc and jc. and I don't believe the latter story. and I completely agree that there is such a thing as over-analysis of a harmless thing. especially when father christmas doesn't give presents to children who ask for too many things as I've told dd. she asked for a hula hoop and a crown, bless her. but can I find a crown anywhere?

Socci · 22/12/2006 16:59

Message withdrawn

ClementClarkeMoore · 22/12/2006 17:00

You have every right to tell your child the absolute truth but do be consistent. For instance Father Christmas is a marketing ploy, that nursey is going to stick a needle in your arm and it'll hurt like hell, sprouts taste like shit but you're going to eat them anyway, Snowy bunny rabbit or Gerry gerbil hasn't gone to bunny/gerbil heaven he's buried deep in the cold earth and all the worms will come and eat him and that'll be that.

They'll treasure the memories.

Good grief!

SenoraPartridge · 22/12/2006 17:02

no, but if you don't subscribe to the religion then religious festivals become a tradition. Most atheists celebrate christmas.