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Original poster

Santa - WHY?

108 replies

Blackduck · 22/12/2006 11:32

Just musing on this the other day. DS is 3 and a half. We haven't pushed the santa thing (but neither have we not talked about it either) in that we haven't got him to write a Christams list or anything like that. I am starting to have a fundamental problem with telling him a man in a red suit (TM Coke Cola circa 1930) will be delivering him his presents on Christams Eve (if he's been a good boy). The letter writing wishlist seems to me to just put even more pressure on parents. This isn't Bah Humbug either, I'm just trying to think it through. I find it quite worrying when my ILs told me that the oldest GD (now eleven) has only just be told/realises that Santa doesn't exist (I'm sure I knew LONG before this....) So what are your thoughts?

OP posts:
shonaspurtle · 22/12/2006 12:13

I was the same as mm - asked outright at the age of about 4 if santa was mummy & daddy really and was apparently highly relieved as I didn't like the idea of some strange man creeping about my house at night...

Didn't stop me getting excited about the idea of santa though. I think even when kids don't actually believe they still get a huge kick out of playing along (same with tooth fairy, easter bunny, loch ness monster etc). Children love colluding with their parents etc about fun made up things.

My mum made it very clear though that santa not being real was a secret between us though so I didn't spoil it for anyone else.

PeachyIsNowAChristmasFruit · 22/12/2006 12:14

Funny, I have spent the last three onths desperately trying to get my 3.5 year old (sn) youngest t vaguely understand FC, int he hope it might bring him some magic- he ahs little verbal ability and less comprehension so the fact that he seems to get that FC is special means huge loads to me. Fortunately DS2 still believes, DS3 I'm not sure about, I'll choose to believe he dos.

Just a though, if you send your ds tos chool 'knowing' he will likely take great joy in informing all the rest.

FWIW there is a Santa for me: DS3 having some genuine magic through realising who he is- that's Santa bringing me the best gift possible (which make me sound like A) I'm doing the poor SN thng.... or the B)sanctiomonious bit. Not I promise, just being truthful.

FioFio · 22/12/2006 12:16

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shonaspurtle · 22/12/2006 12:16

ps - anyone who has a child that is a bit nervous of santa (or just likes Tony Ross's illustrations) this is a fab book!

Mincepiedermama · 22/12/2006 12:18

I have to explode the myth about Fc being invented as part of a Coca cola ad campaign. He was used in one, yes, but existed in many forms before that.

Many believe he was created by norse people who ate the fly agaric mushroom (very very strong psychotropic - also red and white) and hallucinated about him. In fact the mushroom is so toxic they used to ingest it ritualistically by drinking the wee of the deer who had eaten it. I know that sounds completely far fetched but Google fly agaric and FC and there's plenty there to back me up.

Socci · 22/12/2006 12:20

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FioFio · 22/12/2006 12:20

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Mincepiedermama · 22/12/2006 12:21

Ahhh socci I might have known you and I would agree on this. It's another tricky one isn't it which alienates us from the majority. (Sigh of resignation.)

Socci · 22/12/2006 12:23

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Mercy · 22/12/2006 12:25

I suppose it depends how you explain FC's role in the first place.

As far as dd is concerned, he delivers the presents which we have bought.

hulababy · 22/12/2006 12:28

Mercy - that is what our Father Christmas does too. Although FC also brings one other present of this own too - DD's main present.

PeachyIsNowAChristmasFruit · 22/12/2006 12:28

Ah, now the ds's think we have to send him the cash lol

PinkTinsel · 22/12/2006 12:33

santa only delivers one or two presents here and we were always given big lectures about not asking for really expensive things so mom and dad still buy the big presents

Katherine · 22/12/2006 12:33

I find the idea of kids being scared of a strange man coming into their home very sad. It says a lot about the fear in our society these days.

I hate the coca cola thing too. I'd much rather my kids beleived in st nicholas or a more authentic green man but I'd be swamped by all the blurb around them so really there is no point. Would only confuse them.

I am sure DS (8) doesn't beleive this year. I'm a little sad but only because it shows he is growing up. On the other hand I am quite releived that he will appreciate it is me putting all the effort in and that some hairy old geezer with bad taste in clothing isn't going to get all the credit. I don't want it spoilt for the younger two though.

Of course christmas is over commecialiased etc but its also fun and there is a lot of good goes on. I had a lovely day making a wreath and festive ball with my kids. Today we are making peg santas to put on the tree. I'd never manage to make the time for that sort of thing normally so I'm loving it. I think you've just got to look at the bigger picture. Its not just about one day.

wheresthehamster · 22/12/2006 12:34

Why do children question Santa but not angels?

FioFio · 22/12/2006 12:34

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Mincepiedermama · 22/12/2006 12:41

I'm all for a mushroom omlette on Boxing day. Problem is Fio the fly agarics are seriously toxic which is why the norse folk drank the piss of reindeer who'd eaten them to get the trip without the risk of death through toxicity.

It must be some trip if they're willing to drink the piss of reindeer.

I know you think I'm talking rubbish. Perhaps I should find a link. Just a sec ...

Mincepiedermama · 22/12/2006 12:44

There are also wikipedia and BBC entires but this one is far more fun.

PinkTinsel · 22/12/2006 12:45

whats really weird is that i actually vaquely remember hearing the reindeer piss story before but seem to have forgotten it. it doesn't seem like the sort of story i'd usually forget iykwim?

sotheycalledmeparapapillon · 22/12/2006 12:47

Thread last year about Santa

Socci · 22/12/2006 12:50

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roseylea · 22/12/2006 13:18

Hmmm...my 4 yo dd asked me if Father Christmas was there when baby Jesus was born

We are Christians and like Sherlock we will be going the whole nine yards with carol services, christingle, midnight mass and so on (all of which I adore). The only difficulty I have with my dcs believing in Santa is that they get him all muddled up in their minds with baby Jesus and so when they stop believing in Santa they also stop believing in God (or is that me being OTT?)

So we said no, Father Christmas wasn't there at the birth of Jesus. And we try to keep it more about Jesus than about Santa. I think it'd be a bit mean to deprive them of the lovely fantasy that is Santa Claus, but at some point as they grow up to prepare them for the idea that some things we ike to believe in (the tooth fairy et al) are not exactly what you'd call real.

Mincepiedermama · 22/12/2006 13:43

roselea that's such an intelligent question for a four year old. It illustrates my point. He's clearly trying to make sense of the world as they are at this age and here we go ruining it all with our FC lies.

ELF1981 · 22/12/2006 13:49

I had toyed with the idea of not telling me DD about Santa / pushing it, but there are sooo many people out there willing to do it so my input doesn't matter! She's only 14 months so its not a big issue at the moment, but I now think I will be "buying into the whole thing"

Christmas is a magical time when you're a kid. I think my best ones were when I was young and believed in Santa (I remember being gutted when I found out he didn't exist) and after that it just wasnt the same.

Mind you, with teachers telling kids he doesn't exist, and Santa's dropping dead when handing out presents, maybe she will be younger than I was before finding out he doesn't exist (I found out at 10, along with sex education, joy of joy)

roseylea · 22/12/2006 14:09

I see what you mean Minedpiederama (what's your non-festive screen name?) and before we had dcs I think I'd have said the same.

But... IMO children have this wonderful ability, which they gradually lose as they grow up, to enter into the spirit of make-believe fully whilst also being aware on a ratoinal level that it is make-believe (IYSWIM).

For example...my dd (the same one) loves having long and detailed conversations with a hand-puppet on the end of my hand (he's a dog called Hamish). I do the voice but she totally ignores my face and concentrates totaly on talking to Hamish and telling him things about her day (stuff she has just told me 5 mins ago). I think that's lovely!

Another one...she has excema and needs creaming reguarly, so to jolly things along I talk in a broad west country accent (as opposed to my boring old r.p.) and act in the role of a nurse who has popped in to cream her. And she talks to me as if I am a real nurse! As you can see we do a lot of imaginative role-play in our house . So it is this capacity for suspended rationality which I think is unique and quite beautiful in children.

I think it is good for dcs to develop their imagination and to be able to believe in the magical and the wonderful and for that reason I am happy for them to embrace fantasies which I know they will undoubtedly grow out of.

As a christian I believe that God isn't one of these make-believe games so that's why I want to try to keep it separate and talk abouti in different ways.

I think your response is a very adult one - dcs see the world differently, and in some ways are much more complex and intelligent than we adults are.