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Christmas

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Original poster

Accidentally found my present and I'm upset

28 replies

HeffalumpTrap · 18/12/2015 12:27

Someone please hand me a grip.

I went to the shed to get screen wash and I found what I presume is my gift from DH. A lovely dress, just my style. Similar to several of the dresses in my wardrobe that I would love to wear except I can't because I'm breastfeeding and there's no way I could get my boobs out in it.

And it's two sizes too big.

He's obviously put a lot of thought in but hasn't quite worked out why I'm living in leggings and v-necked tops at the moment. Stupid hormones and lack of sleep mean I'm finding it difficult to be rational and focus on the fact that it is a lovely dress.

OP posts:
BuildersBum · 18/12/2015 12:33

Will you be able to exchange it?

Original poster
HeffalumpTrap · 18/12/2015 12:34

Yes, I suppose so if he's kept the receipt. I know it's not the end of the world, he's really tried to be thoughtful.

OP posts:
biscuitkumquat · 18/12/2015 12:37

Could you maybe say to him over the weekend "I can't wait until next Christmas when I can wear a really nice dress. It's rotten that I have to wear leggings for the next 12 months. That can be your present to me next year".

And see if he takes the hint.

He's still got plenty of time to exchange it before the big day.

jamtartandcustard · 18/12/2015 12:38

Maybe that's why he has bought it too big, so you can fit your big boobies into it?
It sounds like a present he has put an awful lot of thought into - he knows you love that style and are prob a bit down cos you can't fit into your others so he's bought you one to wear now and feel god about yourself in. Ok men don't always get this concept right, and a voucher would have been a better option, but don't be too upset. He obviously loves you very much. Just hopefully he kept the receipt and it can be exchanged

DropYourSword · 18/12/2015 12:38

Awww, sounds like he's actually done quite well! I dread to think what my DH would produce if he bought me a dress!
Even if he doesn't have the receipt if the tags are still on I'd bet you'd be able to exchange for correct size.

Original poster
HeffalumpTrap · 18/12/2015 12:39

It just feels like another reminder that my body has changed a lot and that's good and amazing but also quite upsetting.

OP posts:
knaffedoff · 18/12/2015 12:39

I am really sorry you are disappointed, but feel the gesture of buying you a dress in a style you would normally wear is really kind. May not be suitable for breastfeeding, but perhaps your hubby may want to take you somewhere nice, without the baby, for a few hours in the future.

I think it's a lovely gift, I remember being gutted my dh bought me perfume and how disappointed he was when I didn't appreciate it because I felt it was too overpowering for a new baby. So I do understand Xmas Wink

Original poster
HeffalumpTrap · 18/12/2015 12:42

Thanks for being kind, he has done well hasn't he? He's a wonderful husband. I think me being upset is probably more about my body image than his gift. I just hadn't really realised how I felt about myself

OP posts:
Shirkingfromhome · 18/12/2015 12:50

Oh that's so thoughtful, his hearts in the right place OP. You'll definitely be able to exchange it if he hasn't kept the receipt.

It's hard adjusting to a post-baby body but give yourself a break, you're still bf and you're body will no doubt change again. (Speaking as a 28wk pregnant chocolate scoffing hormonal wreck - I'll be in for a shock when it turns out this isn't all baby)!

Here's the grip you requested Wink

Original poster
HeffalumpTrap · 18/12/2015 12:52

Thanks Xmas Smile smiling through my snuffles now. Stupid baby hormones!

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 18/12/2015 12:55

I second what knaffed said - perhaps he has actually noticed that you need larger size because of boobs, and although you won't be able to breastfeed in it you may be able to go out for dinner for a few hours and wear it?

Even if you would actually prefer to swap it for one in the right size you can wear when you're done with breastfeeding, you can still take him up on his offer of dinner out Xmas Grin

I have had some ... interesting gifts from my very lovely DH!
And I agree that sometimes what they think you will want to solve a problem (Heff isn't dressing up much since baby, perhaps she would like a new dress in a larger size, I will buy one) doesn't quite solve the problem you really have (I wish I wasn't tied to the baby and breastfeeding and felt a bit more "normal") but is a lovely kind gesture and thought anyway.

HPsauciness · 18/12/2015 12:55

You won't be breastfeeding for ever, and what he has bought is thoughtful and you may well use it loads in the future. If you really feel you won't, you could ask to exchange but I wouldn't if it is similar ones to what you like- although the size may need changing.

Basically, his intention is good, you are self-conscious about your new body, I would be upfront, try it on, if you don't see it fitting in six months time, change it for one you think will fit.

timelytess · 18/12/2015 12:58

Is he overawed by the dimensions and capability of your breasts and has bought you the dress he wants to see them you in?

Thurlow · 18/12/2015 13:01

When you're feeling sensitive about something, anything can upset you.

But I think he's tried hard here, bless him. He might have assumed a larger size would work to get your breastfeeding norks into, though that's not really how it works.

Smile, try it on, and if it doesn't fit exchange it if you can.

SatsukiKusakabe · 18/12/2015 13:09

How old is your baby? It's normal to find the changes to your body an...adjustment in the early months, particularly when all your tops are over stretched from pulling them up, and your breasts seem to have acquired an attachment, but things will settle down.

You will feel more like yourself again and might appreciate the dress. If it's too big, swap it, everyone does that with gifts after christmas, it's the thought that counts.

IGotAPea · 18/12/2015 13:10

When we first got together dh bought me a dress that I'd said I liked once, opened to find it in a size 20, I was a size 10. He thought that women's clothes were marked up by age like kids ones and because he couldn't find a size 21(was a gift for my 21st bday) he went with 20 thinking 22 would be too big!

Asked did he not think it looked to big just by looking at it and he said he thought it looked a bit big but that it would look fine once I had it on hahahaha. I was touched though that he'd remembered something I'd liked and went back for it, but I still rip the piss out of him and tease him now about sourcing dress in a size 36 :) or whatever every time my bday comes round.

SatsukiKusakabe · 18/12/2015 13:11

igotapea that's hilarious!

carabos · 18/12/2015 13:12

Tell him you're going out shopping for a new dress to wear on Xmas day as nothing you have fits "now that I'm a SIZE X". If he's got more than one brain cell he'll get the dress out and either give it to you, leaving time for you to ask him to exchange it or he'll check the size and change it himself.

Or you could do the grown-up thing, tell him you've found it, it won't fit and he needs to exchange it. You're not 5, you don't need a crap surprise.

MumOfTheMoment · 18/12/2015 13:15

I found my present from dh last yr too.

It was a steam mop Hmm

DinosaursRoar · 18/12/2015 13:20

At the time when you have a newborn, it can feel like this is it, your old body, your old self has gone. But it hasn't, truely, it's such a short part of your life and you can go back to wearing similar clothes to the styles you wore before. Being "a mummy" is only part of who you are, right now it can feel a bit like that's all you are, but it's only a small bit. The idea of a nice dress you can go out in is sweet, particularly as it's a sign that even though you are a mother now, that's not how your DH primarily sees you.

If it's too big, then take it back and exchange it for the right size after christmas, shops are set up for gift returns without reciepts. If it's 2 sizes too big, I bet what's happened is he's mentioned to someone in the shop that he's not sure which size and they've advised that it's much more pleasant to have to say "oh darling it's lovely, but I need to change it as it's too big." than "oh darling it's lovely, but I need to change it because it's too small."

Flingingmelon · 18/12/2015 13:28

Oh I think it's lovely he tried so hard.

If I want a surprise I have to choose a selection of things and send links to them all on in an an email.

I put the most expensive thing at the top and send it when I know he's busy

bozeydugger · 18/12/2015 13:29

Be glad that you found it . You will be able to hide your (understandable ) disappointment on Christmas morning.he sounds lovely. Hope you are able to change it for something more suitable..

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 18/12/2015 13:31

I'm glad you feel better! Xmas Smile

If it helps I had gifts of outsize clothing from the female members of my family during and months after pregnancy.

Your DH was probably mindful of your body shape, thinking two sizes too big is more comfy while you're currently bf. Otherwise the style is just right which is really good judgment and not always the case.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 18/12/2015 14:00

Aww Love him Smile

My DH wouldn't have a clue what size I am or what dresses are in my wardrobe to base a surprise purchase on.

The bottle of screenwash would've been my present Grin

TheCraicDealer · 18/12/2015 14:08

When I worked in a women's clothing store over the Xmas periods as a student I would often get men in who were buying something for their wives. Invariably I would say, "what size is she?", and they would go , "um, about the same size as you?". I doubt that all of the customers of Laura Ashley women's wear were a size 8 (oh the memories).

It's quite hard to guess sizes when you're looking at a dress on the hanger and maybe he was just put on the spot a bit.

Also don't discount it if your boobs are breastfeeding massive- it might fit those bad boys and you could always get it taken in a bit if you do otherwise really like it.

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