Splitting up from husband a week before Christmas, no money for gifts for dd14

[Kazzawazzawo0]

My husband and I are separating, I'll be moving out a week before Christmas. Money will be very tight, non existent really.

I have no idea how to make this Christmas special for my daughter ages 14. All her wishes are high tech and expensive. I'm used to buying on eBay and second hand, but don't know where to start. I'll also need a Christmas tree and stuff. It seems impossible

Any suggestions? I'll not have much chance to get to the shops, so mainly shopping online.

I live near to Newport and there is lots of help available locally such as food banks, recirculate shops etc. Hope it all goes ok, hopefully you're daughter will understand this year is going to be a tougher one than normal.

Also go round make up counters and say you want to treat you dd but she had sensitive skin - could they give samples for her to try before you slash out. I just asked in Frasers in Glasgow last week and Cli Yquem and Benefit gave me loads of wee things for dd to try.,
But yes to legal advice!
I hired a cab for £20 to move and it was dead easy to drive. Do it when he's out and take beds etc!

As you are giving your daughter a home, and if she is a child of the marriage, you and she are entitled to the basics for a family home for her.
Your husband is lying if he is telling you anything different.
Take half the family property, don't be a fool and walk away with nothing.

Could you take some stuff to store at a friend's locally andmake 2 car trips? Have you seen any man with a van adverts locally-they canbevery cheap. You are mad to leave your stuff you paid for. ..it's your dd's stuff too.

If you really want to prioritise your dd take half the stuff , it's not fair on her not to.

You can't take household stuff as you would have pay him to replace it. But if you leave with nothing he didn't have pay you to buy new?

Take a handful of Xmas decorations use a branch of get one off freecylce plenty of people have one willing to share. If you are positive about the future and happy doing simple stuff you can make it a positive experience. Even making paper chains out of roll of wrapping paper will cost £1 a decorate a whole room.

You've received good advice.

I just rented a van; very easy to drive.

Free cycle requests might turn up some gift items. Good luck to you.

And go to CAB and get some legal advice.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/relationship-problems/ending-a-marriage/#h-property-and-possessions

Note "Generally, the partner with whom the children live will be expected to keep domestic goods and equipment."

Don't leave without the things you need

Move precious stuff out piecemeal, to people you trust.you have plenty of time to squirrel stuff away.

I don't really have places I can store stuff, just with one friend. I'm taking a car load there in a week or two.

I've been to CAB, to be honest all they did was Google stuff, which I'd done anyway. I know I'm entitled to half of everything, but don't want the arguments and unpleasantness in front of dd when I can't leave yet and we have to live together.

I'll look into hiring an automatic van, but the ones I've looked at online have been manual and expensive. Plus I'm scared to drive one, it's not just twenty minutes down the road.

I'll try asking at makeup counters for samples that I can use to make a hamper for dd.

I am taking dds stuff, anything I can fit in the car. Books, clothes, cds, dvds, pictures .. Just not furniture. I'm also taking her three cats, which is all she's really bothered about and which I really can't afford

I'll look in freecycle and fb for a small Christmas tree. I'll take some decs from here.

I'm just stuck for gifts that look like she's got something to open without costing much. I know she's old enough to understand, but I'd still like her to have something to open, some little bits and pieces.

My cats cost me £2.50 a week to feed o.p On a sack of tesco cat foodig that helps I have three.

I can't feed mine dry food, one gets urine problems if he eats dry food. They eat a tin of food each a day that costs me £2.25 every two days. Plus flea treatment once a month.

Anything you researched and then bought, you should take. I'm not a petty cunt, but I would not leave this flat without my cheese grater, garlic press, cast iron pans. I'd leave my poor old dh with the spiraliser. Man with a van to take your stuff? I don't understand why you are leaving with nothing to avoid a row, surely your dh could let you leave with stuff and not row. Why is it all on you?

He's being very difficult, he won't talk about any of it. He just says he needs the money, so I'll have to pay him for anything I take.

I'll be taking anything I can fit in the car, bed linen, towels, blankets, duvets, tv, pc (although he's not going to like that), microwave, pans, kettle ..

For gifts for a 14yo I'd go for edibles, lush bath bombs, bed socks, pjs, pink or blue hair colour, any clothes, especially if she needs underwear, tights or a coat that she will actually wear, handwarmers.

I think you really need some emotional help and would urge to talk to some friends or family further.

You're about to walk out with nothing, all because you don't want to upset STBXH and he says he needs money? Women's aid is a good start.

Starting afresh will be hard but heart warming, looking back and realising you were done over will always sting.

I've seen some of your other posts Kazzawazzawo0, sounds like you're going to have to prepare yourself and DD for a tough Christmas this year, in exchange for a fantastic Christmas 2016.

In addition to the good advice already given; could you and DD go really silly on the decorations for your new home and cover it in paper chains, stars, etc? Like the department store scene on Elf, if you have seen it? You'll only need plain white A4 paper, scissors, sellotape and a couple of Christmas films playing in the background.

As your DD will be starting a new school in January, perhaps try to buy her a new school bag and stationery for that with any money you do happen to scrape together. It might be possible to sell a couple of your DH's things from the house to raise some money. Also, do you have any jewellery or family heirloom type things that you could choose this year to pass down to your DD?

Good luck

After 14 years won't you get money from the sale of the house? Must have bought at right time then.

I'd tell him I want paying for everything I leave behind, what an asshole.
Do you know anyone who would drive a van for you? Friend, friend's husband or look up a Man with a Van?
It seems totally absurd that you're leaving everything for him, a Corsa's not going to hold much. Do you have any friends with bigger cars who can help?

Sorry you are having a shitty time OP. I agree with some comments. You need to grow a pair of balls and take half of what you are entitled to. He is controlling you with his "pay me" attitude.

If necessary wait until he is out and move your stuff out of the property. Don't let him walk all over you.

Your daughter will understand. She is old enough.

We bought the house ten years ago, at the wrong time, and far too expensive.