Are we being stingy?

[Lones80]

DS will be 3 in a couple of weeks, DD is 1 shortly after and then there are only three weeks until Christmas. We expect that between them they will get a mountain of toys from family and friends.

We're planning on getting DS a Knights' castle for his birthday and a balance bike plus stocking filler for Christmas and DD a Fisher Price door for her birthday and a trike plus stocking fillers for Christmas. Both will get PJs for Christmas Eve.

However, I've been to the other parenting website for the first time today. There's a thread where people have taken photos of all the gifts for their DC and the number of gifts some people have bought is staggering to me.

As they both have winter birthdays we buy small toys and gifts throughout the year. We are trying not to spoil them, but are we being too stingy?

The bargains thread on here?
We have one on netmums
:-)

especially when so, so many people won't be able to afford a fraction of those presents there have been times when our haul was sourced from free cyle, car boots and chairty. probably grand total of 20 quid as a wild over estimate, but i never ever begdruge anyone else.

I always rely on relatives for presents - we get one main and some little ones and its always STILL TOO MUCH. If they get loads of new stuff at once, the majority gets ignored. Its always been that way, and my youngest is nearly 5 now (oldest is 7)

Its DS2s birthday next week, and he barely gets any recovery time before christmas, so he won't be getting a ton of birthday presents either (granny bought him a very expensive playmobil castle and that's his main gift!)

Firstly welcome to MN Laura and Dot.I have clicked the link and scrolled through the photographs and thought that how much love,time and attention took picking out gifts and waiting for deliveries was lovely. I love Christmas so much to the point my house is a called Christmas cottage! Take no notice of anyone who makes negative comments it all boils down to jealousy.Let people enjoy their own Christmases in their own way. Some prefer a few gifts some enjoy giving large piles everyone is different there is no right and wrong would people prefer mums to be neglecting their kids and not spending any money on them? Don't know how what someone else does on another website affects you so much and why do we have to be rivals?

no right and wrong would people prefer mums to be neglecting their kids and not spending any money on them?

I think giving one or two small gifts to small children is mean esp if no other presents from family, in this day and age you can get so much stuff for free.

Took seconds to google, just one of many sites out there.

www.becomingminimalist.com/why-fewer-toys-will-actually-benefit-your-kids/

But seriously, I don't care how many things other children do get, I'm more concerned with those children who don't get. Hence why my dislike is for the 'bragging' rather than the actual shopping or amount spent. Which is a personal preference, just as valid as those who want to post photos.

And having a shitty time of things makes no difference, doesn't make anyone choices more or less valid than another persons. My daughter died but I don't use it as validation for my Christmas choices.

I feel you are getting rather irate now and it's not necessary, the thread had become pretty friendly again.

liamandlee thank you. Sorry to hear of your DS's poorly times too.

We all just try our best and still get slated at times x

Thank you Everythingwillbeok. A lot of time, love and attention has gone into the well thought out gift's so for someone to sit there and be so disgusting as to say 'tat' is just vile!

I didnt know there was conflict until Yesterday when its 'NM VS MN'....its childish going over to see what we are doing and then coming back to have a little bitch.

Some of you ladies have admitted that you judged and then apologised so thank you, this isn't aimed at you x

Please don't assume it's jealousy just because someone has an alternative and equally valid viewpoint.

If anything I'm not jealous on behalf of my family, as I can provide all they need, and some they want.

I do wish though that every child who didn't have these things, was thought of by those who have more than enough including myself. Which is why 'bragging' (in appearance if not intent) threads feel vulgar, and secret Santa threads are so wonderfully heartwarming.

Your the one who is irate!!!

I wasn've even trying to make my point more vaild!

I cannot even be bothered with your pettiness Any longer.

I don't think Slithys being petty. She has an opinion, she's justified it and it's just as valid as yours.

Oh gosh I think this has gone a bit too far. I don't agree with all this nosing on netmums and laughing about other people. I use mumsnet because netmums just isn't for me, if other people feel the same then let's leave it at that and stop this silliness

Blimey o'Reilly.

In slithys defence DP was reading something the other day, can't remember where saying having too many toys can overwhelm them a bit and possibly not help with imaginative play. Damage? I wouldn't go that far.

My mum was a big pile Christmas lover and I still get a sack at 39

Sorry to hear about your son Laura and wishing you the best.

I still get a sack from my mum at aged 25 too HaroldLloyd! Thank you for your well wishes x

It's petty when someone writes a post like this

"Just clicked that link. I don't like being judgemental, I don't care what other people do with their money, and I need to keep my nose out. But god I'm having to sit on my hands to stop myself typing something vile about the op of that thread."

About my originally post which was

hi ladies i thought it would be fun to share pictures of what we've brought/made so far for christmas can be anything from decorations, food, drink to presents etc.
so here are my kids stocking fillers so far still want to get them a few more bits for the boys (age 4 and nearly 7 at Christmas) but will add progress pictures think my daughter has plenty though

It's all (incuding myself) childish and petty and there was no need for any of it.
I think we should all just agree to disagree from now on.

I hope you have a very merry christmas x

Dot and laura I think on the whole you've both acted very graciously on this thread to you both.

And dot before you go! where did you get those big bottles of paints and glue that were in your craft hamper?

I am also a nm user, I've been a member on here for a long time but never use the site.

You know what's really sad about this thread, if the op had gone I to net mums and posted her pics and asked the same question as she did here, every single one of those women would have said 'no not at all what lovely gifts you have bought' I've seen people post pics where they have just a few second hand gifts and they've been complimented in their choices, it's nothing about bragging or boasting or overspending. Hence the op to show what you've bought or made or anything else. It's genuinely just a lovely thread where people encourage each other, compliment each other and get excited together.

I haven't posted the pics of my gifts, and doubt I will now, but I'll probably be in the section you criticise, my kids haven't got loads and loads but yes they have quite a lot of stuff, all very well thought out, some quite expensive, but all bought because I want to and it's my money and they're my kids so I'll spend it how I like, and give them what I like.

I think the behaviour shown by some women on here has been horrendous, it amazes me people think they have the right to post what they like about people they know nothing about. I hope this is a lesson to some of you that what you post on here isn't harmless and anonymous and people can and do see it and it can be hurtful. I truly hope you feel embarrassed by your behaviour because you certainly should do.

I haven't been petty, and I think now you are highlighting me for some reason out of the several posters criticising your thread.

Lucky I didn't say the actual things I was thinking otherwise you would have really torn into me!

My opinions still stand. I think your thread is vulgar, you don't. So yes, agreeing to disagree sounds like a great idea.

Sounds like every kid of the mnetters and nmers will have a lovely Christmas Day, which is what counts. Regardless of the differing opinions of the parents.

Oh and I've been on nm for years, it's not a one forum vs another thing.

Well I've had a snoop they are from ELC as we have them

Thank you Sootgremlin! x

Smogy ...thank you! x

There is no moral high ground to be had, it's a matter of personal preference.

I also do not agree with comparing one site with another, people should be welcome wherever they go.
However, I too stand by my previous comments that I personally find posting pictures of your kids Christmas things vulgar, and just totally unnecessary.
But each to their own. I wouldn't have gone on there and said it to you, I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings. I'm more of a bitch about you behind
your back kind of person, .
You started the thread and some people have enjoyed it, it isn't hurting anyone.
I hope all your kids enjoy themselves playing with their stuff.

Personal preference can be stated without personal attacks. I said myself it is not how I would do it, but I didn't call those who do vile and vulgar. There is a moral high ground if one person will admit to being petty and the other won't.

Just clicked that link. I don't like being judgemental, I don't care what other people do with their money, and I need to keep my nose out. But god I'm having to sit on my hands to stop myself typing something vile about the op of that thread.

You don't see why she might have highlighted that? Really? I don't think dot was singling you out, it's fairly obvious you were singling her out by indirectly insulting her.

But of course, you didn't actually say the vile thing, so that's all right then.
It's called apophasis, drawing attention to a thing by making a point of not saying it. Since we're all on top of our spelling, grammar and rhetoric over here. It was rude.

Thanks superscrimper, all I ever find are tiny bottles that are used up too quickly

However, I too stand by my previous comments that I personally find posting pictures of your kids Christmas things vulgar, and just totally unnecessary.

Its only vulgar if you are viewing them in that way, other people are managing to view them as fun and interesting and inspiring all getting into the spirit.

It's called apophasis, drawing attention to a thing by making a point of not saying it well, you learn something every day!!

. Since we're all on top of our spelling, grammar and rhetoric over here. It was rude