Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
_

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

Chocolate vodka recipe

(I originally got it from the Superscrimpers tv show and just googled for the recipe as I couldn't remember it)

You will need -

5/6 Mars Bars (or any other bars that don't contain nuts/biscuit etc)

Single cream (100ml)

700ml of Vodka (Can be the cheapest as the chocolate masks the flavour!)

Instructions -

Slice up your chocolate bars and melt in a bowl over a pan of hot water on the hob.

When this has melted add your cream, give it a stir and add your vodka.

Stir this until everything is mixed together evenly.

You can then pour this mixture (carefully, using a funnel!) into a bottle. This is ready to drink straight away.

Note: You can alter the ingredients depending on your tastes and preference of strength.

Enjoy!

It is very strong but yummy.

Supid bloody internet! trying to post pictures and struggling. Will try again later.

Hope that sounds dead easy. I'll give it a try! Does it keep for long?

Marking my place, I've made apple and mint jelly and chilli jam already and am going to make my christmas cake this weekend.
Will read the thread properly tonight and follow boards on pinterest whilst also watching Strictly.

It sounds yummy hope, thanks for posting, I am going to give it a try.

I'm not sure to be honest, Felix. I don't think it lasted long with the recipients!

I do know that they kept it in the fridge though.

Sorry I can't be more helpful.

Ooh. Strictly!

Please may I join too. Love all the homemade stuff. Always do plenty of hampers at christmas with a combination of homemade and local stuff.
My dried fruit is soaking in sherry for me to make my Xmas cake on Sunday.
Have plenty of jams and marmalades already made but need to crack on with apple chutney and chilli jam soon.
Going to make some Mars bar vodka this weekend for a friends birthday present.
My sloe gin is coming along nicely so just need some nice bottles for it.

Thanks hope. I'm going to make a test batch to see how it goes then I'll make the batch for presents closer to Christmas I think.

Right I'm going to make a Christmas cake. I've only ever done it once when I was at school and I remember my Mum complaining that it cost a fortune I've found a recipe with good reviews on BBC Good Food website, but where do you all get your dried fruit mixture from? Do you buy the individual fruits or can you get a huge packet of mixed fruits? I've got some delicious El Dorado 15yr old rum in the cellar that I will feed it with.

Also, when should I make the cake? I don't want to do it too early but don't want to leave it too late either.

Sorry I'm asking loads of questions! I am young and clueless

I think I'm going to have to poncetasticly lurk instead of a full on poncetastic Christmas due to 3 month old DD not leaving me with much time and needing to focus on decluttering the house.

Last year was a poncetastic-lite in the end due to early pregnancy leaving me unable to do anything in the evening. I have a beautiful stash of fabric for making stockings and gifts which I didn't get around to making last year.

Aldi do packets of presoaked mixed fruit. But I always like to soak my own. I do the Mary berry recipe which is lovely.
It's not cheap to make your own but it's a lovely thing to do. I used to make mincemeat and Xmas puds too but now you can buy cheaper.
Also a nice homemade gift is chocolate bark with various toppings. Am going to do the peppermint bark also as mentioned before.

Who wanted bottles? I saw some in The Range today, different sizes and shapes. I think Hobbycraft also do them, and Wilkinsons do some.

The range also have in stock some Christmas storage items for tree decs, and gift wrapping, somewhere safe to store your lovingly crafted papers and gift tags, and decorations until needed.

I bet I'm younger than you Felix

Making a test batch is a good idea

I make my cake around about now so there's plenty of time to feed it. Think I'll make mine next week.

I buy the individual fruits.

I wanted bottles girly :) I'm going to be near a Hobbycraft tomorrow, so I'll look there, thanks.

There's no The Range near me, though I've always wanted to go to one sad

Our Hombase is closing and becoming The Range. I'm a bit excited. Never been in one.

Can I ask a stupid person question? Non Xmas related. How do I get photos from my iPhone on to here?

Cider, if you look under the space where you type your post there is a safety pin. Click on it and add photos.

Except mine is not working today!

Cider, The Range is a bit of everything; lots of craft and party stuff and DIY wedding things, cards, toys, kitchen/food prep/dining, bathroom bits, small electricals, bedding/curtains/towels, pet stuff, garden stuff, some furniture, decorating/plumbing/electrics. In summer they have outdoor stuff for picnics/camping etc and this time of year they have Christmas decs and Hallowe'en. Ours has a cafe as well.

Just saw the date!

Right this year is the first Christmas DP and I will be spending just the two of us so I can do my own poncing!

We have the allotment for the first time this year. So hoping for home grown carrots, leeks, salsify, jerusalem artichokes and black kale to make an appearance on the kitchen table for our Christmas Dinner.

We already have a load of home grown home made piccallilli and pontack sauce, chilli tomato and lime jam and dill pickles. I'm considering making some pickled green tomatoes and roasted beetroot chutney for Christmas too.

I quit my job to work on my business a few weeks ago so need to get some stuff done soon for Christmas as my business is retail and goes nuts at Christmas hopefully.

To do list:
Knit DP scarf pressie
Make chutney and pickles
Make sloe gin and cranberry vodka (already picked sloes)
Knit some decorations for the tree or a garland
Make chestnut puree (I have found a massive tree in the park)
Make Christmas puddings soon
Sort out cards and wrapping - I got a stamp last year to do this and didn't!
Order capon from butcher

@pigleychez what kind of garland are you looking at making?

ethelb what is your new business ?
Piccalilli also on my to do list as is pickled onions. Yum.

Oooo ethel you have capon! We had one last year for Christmas day, it weighed 7lbs and just DH and I eating it. We did make a curry of some and freeze it for another time. The lady cashier at the butcher said we aren't allowed to refer to capons these days, they are just big chickens! But I think capon sounds more poncetastic.

Apparently in the Middle Ages only the very wealthy, royalty and the clergy/monastic were able to eat capons.

Your preparations sound good.

Hope I realised after I posted that I worded it terribly and might offend people

Will check out the MB recipe Christmas cake

And I'm 24 so technically not that young, but I'm clinging on to my youth for dear life

Snap Felix, 24 too

I don't think I should be on here, I've never even heard of capon