Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
_

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

Owl I use large plastic suction cups with hooks on to hang my wreath on my uPVC front door. I think I originally got them from B&Q but I've seen them in Wilko's and other shops this year. I find they need two or three "goes" when I first hang the wreath but then it lasts until Twelfth Night.

The wreath is beautiful. I want one... ( trying not to sound like a whiney child). Poncing on hold here due to DD being unwell and in hospital. We are home now but it's full on 1-1 attention time and cbeebies. My mind is mush! I've been making Pom poms (??) whilst holding her...no idea what I will do with them but it's a token ponce that can be carried out whilst cuddling a toddler!
Now back to the wreath.. I may look to YouTube for a tutorial. I am sure someone mentioned one up thread.

Ou could make a Pom Pom wreath! There are some ideas on Pinterest. I made mine with a polystyrene wreath base from hobby craft and wrapped it in wool (red, green and white) you could do similar then attach Pom poms?? Hope dd is better soon

Mistletoe just needs ribbon to hang

wild it is gorgeours! Is it felt? How did you make the beads and veins? It is really lovely, I love it!

Yesterday's craft shop haul included a huge bit of glittery foam to make Rudo-wreath with. I also bought lots of yarn to make my Dad and BIL a hat, and it was all put in the same carrier bag so DF & BIL will be getting a glittery hat! Very Christmassy.

I saw some beautiful personalised notecards which I fell in love with but at £50 for 20, couldn't afford :-( So have ordered our own - drawn a stick man picture of our family, written "Thank you from the Umlaufs" above it - and uploaded to vistaprint. I got 40 for £20, and feel much poncier having hand drawn them (even if it is only a stickman!) Am ridiculously excited about doing the same in years to come when DS starts drawing!

Today's poncing.... this is why I'm best sticking with crafty stuff!

Oops - I can spell gorgeous. Please don't kick me off!

Is that a gingerbread house? Wow it looks great. The personalised note cards sound genius. Good money saving and poncing skills!
A Pom Pom wreath sounds good! I'm about to do non online shop at hobby craft... I fear it may get expensive!
Christmas poncing really does cheer me up on a rainy Sunday.

Loving the gingerbread house!

I cut 2 small leaves and 2 large leaves. I stitched the veins onto each leaf then stitched the pearly beads onto one large leaf and one small leaf. I then used bondaweb to put the 2 small and 2 large ones together to hide the dodgy stitching in the middle. I used bondaweb to stick the small leaf to the edge of the large leaf. I just need to tie the tops together with ribbon and hang.

Toots, have you made it home from hobbycraft???

Where are you all???

I am having a ponce related panic... so much to do and so little time!!!

I have one week to make three nativity costumes, one wreath, one floral centre piece, one advent calendar, one ribbon tree canvas and five presonalised baubles.

Help!!!

Helpful hint.... Get off MN and do some poncing !

I made some cornflour and pva glue tags yesterday . Hmmm not sure although the ivy leaves are pretty.

Frantically knitting these boot slippers but soo much work . One is nearly done but still gots hours and hours of work on the other !

sorry wildflowers I only ponce at weekends!! What nativity costumes do you have to make? I feel frantic on your behalf but selfishly am looking forward to seeing the finished result.

trumpton those look amazing! Are they for you or a present? I'm doing cableknit (crocheted though - can't knit!) wristwarmers for me, but having done one I'm a bit disappointed by how chunky they make my arms look, and so I'm not motivated to finish the other one. Need to though so I can crack on with DFs hat.

I am holding a Christmas themed dinner party in 3 weeks for a group of expats here. Need to show them how we do it! Not the whole turkey shebang but would like to source some crackers. M&S won't post them to me because of non-existant customs within the EU...

Following a festive kick up the backside I have made this years advent calendar.

Crackers are a must for any 'Brittish' Christmas. Could amazon send them?

Don't crackers (rather randomly) get classed as explosives? It would be a real pain if they did as delivery abroad would be almost impossible :(
You could make your own though, just without the snap which rather defeats the point I guess :o

All the proper shops won't do them but ebay will, so I think I'll just order a 6 pack on there! Need Christmas themed dinner ideas but not Christmas dinner.. And of course you can't buy any of the relevant stuff in Spain, like cranberry sauce which is essential!!! Sprouts are abundant though!!

wildflowers that is really lovely, very Scandi and looks completely professional. How did you do the font? And what is on the other side?!?

Why thank you. It was super easy... I got a large frame from IKEA and binned the glass. I then stretched the backing fabric over the backboard and stapled into place. I then did the same with the ribbon to hang the 'baubles' from. I used a 4 sting loop of twine to hand it using the top of the frame and then put it all back together using the cardboard mount to add a depth. I just cut out various shaped using card and stamped on the numbers and wrote the clues for where to find the advent treats on the back. The red tree and bow were just scraps of felt and ribbon glued on.

The treats are in felt advent bags I got from Lidl and range from festive bedding, tops, socks and hair slides to chocolate coins, family film nights and day trips.

wildflowers can I come to your house for Christmas please???

Slippers are for a very good friend who, like me, lives in a freezing old house ! But it's a real labour of love, I hope she appreciates them !

The more the merrier OhGood.

Just having a festive browse through this thread - some gorgeous photos - but Umlauf I have to say the Poncetastic prize goes to you. That wreath is AMAZING!!! Was going to repost the gingerbread house which is on my profile from a previous year made with the dcs but you lot are in a different league.

We are discussion of the day!

Lillian I peeked and think your ginger bread house is fab. Anything made with the help of the DC's should not look like it is fresh from M&S, that's the fun!

This is the thread for me! I am hosting Christmas for the first time this year. We have all DH's family coming and they will sleep over too. There will be 17 (7 kids, including DS who will be 1 on the 26th) people here altogether so I need all the help I can get!

Already started thinking about making crackers as we are in Canada and they are not readily available...

Love Christmas!

Welcome Toffee, I love a huge family sleepover Christmas. We are going to my parents this year, wish I was hosting too.

wild if you wish to host every year, may I suggest the following...

1. procure yourself a quantity of dogs (two was kind of do-able, once we got to three the reciprocal invitations started drying up)
2. add a neurotic "can't be left in the Cattery" cat, just to be sure
3. go to church regularly, then lament quietly but fluently how it's not the same at "another church" 4)have The Only Grandchild (understandably not quite morally possible in most circumstances)

Even my DSDad manages to prise himself away from his 2 mile wide TV and come to visit us. Otherwise we stay at home :)