Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
_

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

Lovely idea Umlauf - I might steal that one as DH loves giving photo gifts. I'd be tempted to paint or spray the frame too though to match...
I LOVE Ikea for frames. We're so lucky to have one 10 mins away. We're there for candles at least once a month.

Loving the tree ideas.

If you are in the UK Blooming felt are fab, they have stars etc.
I personally always use wool felt as it keeps better if you plan to use it again.
You will also need a few metres of display felt for the main body of the tree, THIS is who I use for work. Best quality/value.

Sorry should have said display felt will need a backing. If not you would need thick wool felt but that will be around £40-£50 for 1m x 1.8m.

A photo will indeed be winging it's way on here umlauf unless it's a catastrophe, in which case I will NC and never come on here again

I have ordered the rope and DH is under strict instructions to find nice pallets- he looked at me like

:o

I'm after some advice and opinions, please. I have laid out the panels for my tree skirt and would like to know if the layout with the green panels is better than the one that is 2xred panels and 2x ivory panels.

My tree decorations are red and ivory with a few gold ones for good measure.

I prefer it without the dark green as I think the green unbalances it.

Can we see it with the dark green and without the brown?

I think the panels with the white background and spriggy green flowers could be replaced with a stronger colour presence.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I'll photograph it again tomorrow in daylight with the different colour combinations.

The green, red and spriggy white are all different colours of the same fabric. I plan to trim it with red bias binding and the reverse will be plain cream with appliqué holly leaves with red buttons for berries. I may prefer the reverse

It feels a bit ambitious but what the heck.

This thread is my dream topic! Im really behind with Christmas stuff this year due to a difficult pregnancy and just moving house. here is some things ive made previously though.

Is that a robin piñata?????

No we just used it as ornament. just some paper mache round a balloon. Probably could adapt though which would be good for Christmas party

To all the lovely poncers on this thread.....
Due to an Unfortunate Event, it seems I may have a chunk less cash than anticipated for gifts. Thanks to the bargain threads and my frankly highly uncharacteristic early planning I am about done for presents apart from DM who, as usual, sucks air through her teeth when asked for inspiration and mutters vaguely about "not really knowing"
So I had a flash of inspiration and decided to knit her a lovely scarf as she feels the cold and also lives in Britains windiest place. She would appreciate the effort that went into it rather than me just buying one from the shop IYSWIM. It was a while later that DH pointed out that I can't actually knit
The eternal optimist says it can't actually be that hard (can it?!) Has anyone any tips, websites etc that can explain in words of one syllable exactly how one transforms some wool into a scarf please? Also what would be a lovely, soft and cosy type of wool that is not too expensive and that a total novice could handle without having to resort to hard alcohol :o

I knit and crochet. If you are starting from scratch I'd suggest learning to crochet rather than knitting. There are videos on YouTube that will walk you through the basic stitches and there are loads of lovely patterns for infinity scarves and cowls on Ravelry.com.

I would use yarn with merino or cashmere for a really luxurious feel. These aren't cheap (it would cost you £10-£15 for enough to make a cowl) so I would practice with some acrylic yarn first (Stylecraft is good for about £2 a ball) and do some granny squares. Once you are happy with your stitches you can work on your project.

If you work in a chunkier yarn with a suitable hook then the scarf will work up quite quickly. Honest.

If you are in North Northants or bits of Leicestershire I can help in person if you need it.

you could try knitting a cancan scarf Fox - they are very, very simple to make. Can't get the link to paste, but there are some good you tube videos available.

I've got strawberry vodka, blackberry vodka and cherry brandy brewing at the moment. Has anyone got any ideas what I can do with the fruit? Is there anything I can do with the fruit or am I going to have to bin it?

fourfoxache (love the username) I'm making raspberry vodka and am incredibly excited about making a boozy eton mess with the raspberries BUT... wait for it.... I'm going to add a drop of green food colouring to the meringue so make little meringue Christmas trees!

You could do this with the strawberries? For the cherries, can you add them into your mincemeat? Or make Mary Berry's cherry cake? Not sure about the blackberries.

I plan to use my boozy cranberries in two ways... boozy clementine and cranberry cake and then blitz up the rest and serve with prosecco.

Thank you forfox and thewooly :)
DH has taken the iPad today so will check out YouTube when he gets home as I am on my phone.

I think just an ordinary straight scarf would be the best bet for me to begin with! And sadly I am in the south west thewooly so about as far from you as I could be, while still being in the same country :o

Ahh I lost you all! Will have to catch up.

No more poncing has been done here, but I am in full house packing mode ready to move next week. Will try and resume poncing come December!

Ooh, thank you for the ideas - boozy cherry cake sounds like a winner, as does serving with prosecco!

I feel the time to ponce has come...

This coming week I plan to make
three felt hearts (one for each DC)
one fabric wreath
and
one advent calendar.

I have just purchased baker's twine, little jingle bells and candy canes for my wrapping this year. Excite!

I usually make tags out of last year's christmas cards but I've got it in my head to do some kind of writing on plain brown tags with silver and gold pens. Only trouble is both DH and I write like drunk doctors. Hmm.

Also now concerned that the combination of bells and cane will look too much like an elf's ~gentleman's hardware~

For some bizarre reason, I stopped getting updates about this thread, and looked for it, and have seen all the fun I have missed in the way of fab decorations and wreaths.

I think I need to get my felt out and set my most restless DD to work making decorations. I have bought a tub of jungle bells of assorted sizes to make a garland for the mantlepiece - greenery dies there horribly fast.

at the elf's hardware, Heyhey.

Wow, so much poncing going on!

I am very much in awe of all the little felt things and crocheting and wotnot going on.

I made similar Christmas pudding felt tree decorations last year, I never thought to making buntinf/garland! Would look lovely in our kitchen. I made a woolly snowball wreath last year for the front door, but now I have gone off it a bit so may make a new one, depending on time.

I have so far, since about August, made:
4 mini stockjngs for my sister and family , plus three animal paw stockings with dog/cat names on
3 large animal paw stockings for various friends' aminals
four drawstring bags for shoes (dad and partner do a lot of Lindy Hop dance weekends and require no end of shoe bags! Simple but fun)
Noel/Yule/Feliz hanging red felt thingies with the words picked out in beads
Just made this morning an infinity cowl out if minky fur for a friend, soooo warm, like being hugged by a bear! It does look like a million minkies exploded in my house, bloody awful stuff for shedding when you are sewing grrr.

Still left to do:
1 personalised stocking
Sheep rug, pillow, pyjama case and hot water bottle combo for DS.
Various other little bits and bobs.

Let me see if I can post a pic..