Shinyshoes1, when dealing with people with any sort of toxicity in them (whether huffiness or full blown poison), I have learned to do my prep in advance, keep a stock list of phrases in my head to ignore them ("did you mean that to be so rude?", "we're all having X now and then going to Y, so do you want to join us, otherwise the fire is lit and here is the remote control for the tv" etc) and treat them in a way like I treat DD. That I am in my own home so I am the person in charge and I have to take account of everyone's needs and wishes and choose what is best for all.
If you have a few nice things for your mum (like have info or even tickets for performances she'd like one day, or arrange to take her shopping and for coffee one day without children (or with if she'd love - but HER time rather than you chasing a list 5 yards long), having some of her favourite foods in the cupboards), and have the room she'll stay in as nice for her as possible (travel kettle and mug, small pack biccies, few nice mags/books, radio, tv if you have a small one, table to write at, nice smellies to relax, etc), then hopefully she will see the effort you have put in. And if you're clear up front about what you can do with/for her, and what other calls you have on your time, then hopefully it will be a nice visit.
Certainly do still remember to make time and plans for everyone else in the family, like the annual drinks for neighbours you host, or a night out with your DH alone.