What would happen if you left all the gift buying to your OH?

[SlightlySuperiorPeasant]

I'm the gift-buyer in our family, not for any particular reason but I've sort of slid into that role. DH is one of 5 siblings, 3 of the others are married and there are 4 nephews and nieces on his side if the family (and counting). Last year I bought for everyone except FIL and BIL and asked DH to sort out presents for them. They got socks and a hat, hastily grabbed from Asda on Christmas Eve

This year I told him I was leaving birthday presents and cards to him. I reminded him frequently when birthdays were coming up and sorted out presents and cards for the DNs. FIL got a card. MIL got a card. BIL2 got nothing. SIL1 got a Facebook message. SIL2 got nothing. SIL3 was promised some money. BIL1 got nothing. I'm doing Christmas...

What would happen in your house if you're the main gift buyer but you left it to your OH to do the presents?

He would get things for me and the DC but no-one else in either of our families would get anything. It wouldn't occur to him.

Nobody would get anything probably not even DS

If left to DP then absolutely nothing would happen, no cards, no presents, no facebook messages, nowt.

Actually, maybe it's the way to go....

Easy... it wouldn't get done.
DH hates buying presents. He can't even do it for me. I get told to find something I like and he buys it. Xmas is definatly a no-go because he does really like it.

He is now STBXH, but if it had been left to him, nobody would have got anything.....

I have dropped around 11 Christmas presents this year with no longer having to buy for his family. I bet he doesnt buy them anything.....

EVERYONE (man woman and child) would get a massive stack of home made music compilations on CD, with beautifully hand made covers. Delivered two weeks after Christmas and wrapped in a carrier bag.

Amazon would have a major revenue spike on the 22nd December.
The credit card bill in January would make me feel faint.
My family wouldn't see their presents till New Year.

DP buys for his side, I buy for my side.

But in practice, I buy for SIL and MIL, and DP gives me the cash.

He's pretty good at present buying, and tends to do it in all in a three hour session a few days before Christmas. Then he has a nice latte.

I hate him.

He'd probably spend a fortune in the week before Christmas. He'd probably manage to get everyone - but may forget a few. But the budget would be shot.

I have managed to start to get him trained. When we were in a shop with a changing seasons sale 2 weeks ago, HE spotted 2 nice things, for his DBro and SIL, and my parents. But I know last year, he wandered town in a daze on Christmas Eve and bought me a (fancy) lunchbox as he really had no idea what to get. It was nice, but he was mortified when I gave him a case of Christmas beers and interesting nibbles to go with them (which he realised I'd spent WEEKS chasing to get an interesting mix).

I'm the main buyer, and I am the keeper of the excel spreadsheet (including budget)!!

If DH didn't work so many hours, he'd get wonderful presents for everyone, probably much more thoughtful than anything I'd come up with.
As he does work, All The Time, I think everyone would get something from a service station. Giant bags of chocolate buttons for all. Which actually, wouldn't be that awful, I guess.

Everyone would get presents. DH would choose one shop - probably John Lewis - stay within 10 feet of the entrance, and choose all the presents in 3 minutes.

Hahaha ProvincialLady, carrier bags sound familiar...

DH also insists that we buy presents for his cousins (14, 7 and 4), despite the fact that we never see them. They get their presents at random times. He stopped insisting on presents for aunts and uncles when we had lots of tins of chocolate sitting around the house in February. We ate them :o

It would be like that episode of Friends where they do their Christmas shopping at the late night garage on Christmas Eve.

Half the family would get nothing, but I would get something spectacular to take my mind off his failing.

Hmm, I've got an idea forming in my head...

He would do it all. It would be bought in good time and the presents would be fab although I would be irritated that he had spent so much.

The downside would be that there would be no wrapping done until Christmas eve and he would have forgotten wrapping paper.

He is fucking marvellous at presents. As is my eldest son.

I taught them well.

He'd spend more than me (bargain hunter) and it would probably be very, very expensive.

Think I might let him try this year!

One year DH bought me a chandelier for the living room from eBay. We live in a 30's terrace and I really don't do bling. Out of the 3 years we've had it, it has worked for approximately a month.

Pag

I think I'm married to RedBlanket's DH

A friend of mine once received the following Christmas presents from her (comfortably off) fiance:

A magic face cloth that grows when you wet it.

A novelty vacuum flask.

A DVD of Scrooged, featuring Bill Murray. She had never and has never expressed any interest in this film.

That's it.

They're now married, but it wasn't pretty at the time.

After DS3 was born (and I was working and picking up the majority of the household stuff and 100% of the kids organisation, etc. Childcare, finances, playdates, GPs etc) I told DH I was not longer taking responsibility for his family's presents. He threw his toys out the pram and said it was 'helpful' for him that I did it for him. I asked if he thought it were reasonable to ask him to sort out all my family's presented like DB and DGM and he said 'of course not' and so I then said so why is it OK for me to have to do this for your lot? and so he conceded.

Dh's lot now all receive nothing on their birthday and if they are lucky get something crap a few weeks late (I do remind him several weeks in advance several times and it is all written on the calendar in the kitchen - he choses to ignore me). So DSIL also got nothing at Xmas again last year.....

I have covered my arse though by announcing when I took the decision I was abdicating 'my' responsibility to his familiy that DH was now responsible as I had too much on. DMIL still phones me though to tell me what DN wants for her birthday and I still say 'but I don't do that anymore' and she just doesn't get it....grrrr

I know

Although, to muse slightly, I do think that we don't help matters when we laugh along at hapless dp/dhs crap present buying as that gets modelled for our sons.

I started taking my dc out gift choosing when they were tiny. I would talk to them about who they were buying for, what do they like , what would make them happy. They are all pretty good now
DS1 is going to be a fantastic dp/dh in the gift buying department. For his girlfriend's birthdays his gifts included taking her to Paris, giving her a notebook with a something he loved about her on each page, a portrait he had done of her (i should add he is a great artist) truffles he hand made for her - loads of really nice things.

He still farts though. And leaves the bathroom in a shocking state. So still work to do.
I try and remember I am raising a man who will take his childhood lessons into his future relationships. We need to raise our sons to not opt out of this stuff - stop giving them a 'men, arn't they crap' card.

That is true. I thought if I left it to DH then he would do a terrible job (actually started an AIBU about it last year and got flamed for letting FIL and BIL get terrible presents!) and lo and behold, he did a terrible job. I can't think of many other situations where it's ok to have such low expectations of a fully capable adult.

I force DP to come with me so we choose presents for his family together and NOT on Christmas eve! Only problem is, if I want a surprise, I have to let him get on with it. Last christmas my surprise was: no gift at all