This may out me but this is a quiet little thread.
My Travel Pass. A true story. By Farrow and Bawl.
In the second week of September I lost my travel pass. The bugger cost me £315 to get it but it will save me a small fortune as it goes with my college pass and gives me "free" travel for the trams and buses which I use everyday for the entire year. Anyway, I lost it on the school run, I'd only had it for a week. I must have done that run a thousand times since and I still can't see it anywhere. I've called the bus companies, the tram company, the colleges, the school and then finally reported it to the police.
Since I no longer had my pass for college that cost £5 to replace. To replace the pass that was another £25 - gutted is not the word.
The new pass came a week later so it was all back to normal. No sign of the pass so I assume someone has taken and is using it for themselves (even with the photo ID, no one really checks). At least someone was having a bit of luck.
So that was one problem solved. DS then decides to block the toilet. He's put an entire roll down the pipe. Not the first time so I unblocked it. A few days later it happens again - getting really bloody annoyed with him I unblocked it again. About a week later it happens again, bored of arguing and suspecting that it's not ds or the loo roll, I put it down to general crap so bought a plumbers snake and some caustic soda. Used both and it all seems to be fine. Way hey!
Only it wasn't. A week later it's now got to the point that it will only go down if you pour in a bucket of water from a great height - so it must still be blocked, way, way down the wastepipe. Arse and I'm skint.
I've tried everything and as it's 3 stories high at the back, taking the pipe apart wasn't an option so I thought I'd try it from the other side and disconnect the toilet from EVERYTHING. I got to the last screw and ......the screwhead snapped in half. I wanted to cry, that screw was standing in the way of me getting to the pipe from the inside. I didn't want to saw the screw off incase I broke the bottom of the toilet - so I'm now left with no option that to call out for a plumber. FUCK.
7 calls and messages later no fucker replies so I've had to go with a mega expensive company £89 +vat for the first 2 hours, then 89 per 1/2 hour after that plus parts and labour - I wanted to be sick - I was already nursing the hangover from hell as it was. So I took the plunge and called them.
4 hours later he finally arrives and he can't find the blockage either. I had no choice, break the toilet to get to the pipe. He must have seen the tears in my eyes when he saw a little tiny rodding eye that you use to shove rods and cameras down the waste pipe. So back up the ladder he goes, opens up this eye and takes a look. Says he's found one of those blue clip on loo things, I argued the toss with him for about 5 minutes that I NEVER use them as I know that damage they can cause, the bastard is trying to fob me off with a half arsed job, I I told him to grab the ladder and let me have a look - so he did, my bravado almost vanished at that point as he could have been right....he was. This blue plastic thing was there, nestled in a shitty pipe almost laughing at me and downright taking the piss when I found it was too far in to grab by hand.
But I knew that it cant be a clip on thing so what the hell was it? The plumber found a hook and had a prod about - by this time it was dark and raining and this blue thing had slid back down the u-bend. He shouts me to go and see if I can fish it out. So I ran inside, stamping mud and grass all in the new stair carpet and into the bathroom and there is was, sat in the bottom of the bowl....my original fucking travel pass.
Then it dawned on me - I owed DS the biggest apology in history, the poor sod had been taking the blame for this for nearly a month and it was my fault. It had slipped out of my back pocket when I had a quick trip to the loo before I took the kids to school.
Giving DS a hug he then chose that oppertunity to ask for a pizza (smart kid). Not just any pizza, a Dominoes pizza (he's a very smart kid), with chicken sides, chicken wings, garlic bread the job bollocks. This meal was going to cost me almost the same as my weekly shop but I felt as though I had no choice. After all, he's been getting flack and questioned over and over again about what he's shoved down the bog for 4 weeks.
The look on his face was priceless, joy mixed with smug and enjoyment of manipulating a situation for his best interest when it all arrived. He's never going to let me forget it is he?
This money saving travel pass has now become one of the most expensive things I own...only the house itself is more expensive.
The moral of the story boys and girls is...ALWAYS, ALWAYS look before you flush if you have a habit of putting anything in your back pocket.