Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2011 is.....

[FellatioNelson]

open for business. Knock yerselves out.

Yes it is, the older ones are a bit bog now but still love it (11 and 10). I knw it seems odd to say it but ds3 has SN and one of the upsides is that at 8 he still beleives an may well always do- it adds to the joy

Having spent last night making bits of the decoration for DD's birthday cake I am now definitely in cake mode - and still entirely devoid of brilliant ideas for mini Christmas cakes. I have to focus on birthday cakes for a while, still, but may get distracted whilst in hobbycraft picking up "essential" supplies on the way home this evening.

Kilner jars - try people like The Range, but also try ebay - we found them for way less that the likes of Lakeland were selling them at, even incl p&p, a couple of years ago. I currently have some nice square ones from when Waitrose reduced poncy salmon mousse to less than the cost of the jar (the salmon mousse wasn't great - the chickens got most of it - but the jars are fab, and waiting to be filled - except a couple which DS filled with "his" plum and cinnamon jam)

Kingsroadie - I make a customised version of Nigella's Christmas cake (no currants or candied peel, more raisins, cherries and alcohol) and it is very well received.

I do Delia's Christmas cake and Nigella's pudding. Both customised as I'm not keen on the nuts or too much peel and love cherries.

Fed both with Pedro Ximenez last year and they were gorgeous.

Sybil, I got my grass nozzle off ebay - but you can get them from most sugarcraft shops online.

Stealth, I haven't seen any inspirational mini cakes since yesterday, but I did have a musing that possibly something to do with 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' might be fun?

I don't have a plan for my own Christmas cake yet this year. I did the melted glacier mints thing last year - looked great, but I wasn't so keen on the flecks of minty freshness that got mixed up with the slices of cake!

I love sour cherries in my cakes but ds1 is now allergic.

Just got the new version of Delia though and the better homes and gardens Christmas ideas book; I am now drooling! May well end up force feeding neighbours key lime fudge just as an excuse to amke loads LOL

I am feeling Christmasy again now with this cold weather - hurrah!

Today I fed the cake, gave the raspberry gin a shake, and made two pots of mediterranean salt (which smells bloody divine).

I also bought some wicker hearts which somehow I am going to turn into a garland. They were a bargain, only 99p each. I'm also thinking of incorporating felt windmill's in the garland somehow. It all sounds a bit sketchy and crap doesnt it?

I've also got some retro looking flower fairies Christmas material that I am itching to use, maybe bunting?

I feel I need to buy a gluegun. I think it will give me inspiration!

I've just ordered brown paper, bakers twine and candy canes for my wrapping. Thank you to whoever suggested it ages ago on a different thread prob around August time ha ha.

I also bought some real tat from the pound shop, christmas window stickers. They truly made my toes curl however I just know that my little DD will love adorning our window with them and then I can relax knowing that in the evening they are hidden away from me behind the curtains, whilst I look at the twinkling lights and roaring fire.

I didnt get the chance to do my cake today like I hoped so that's next weeks task. And a xmas pud. Then I'm off for some red gingham to make squitch's gingerbread men and some red and white felt to make tree decs like john lewis are selling!

Disclaimer - they are not my gingerbread men lol i shamelessly stole the idea from NOTHS - but thanks :)

I love the idea of brown paper wrapping, but I've just accidentally bought some lovely ribbon (think its East of India stuff) that has got little red embroidered hearts and x's on it - so I'm going to try and find some plain red paper and then I'm going to use the ribbon and make some little pale green felt holly leaves as gift tags.

I always wrap dd's 'santa' presents in silver shiny paper with Santa on (usually from WH Smiths as I bloody love that their paper has a grid on the reverse) and then she could easily differentiate (no idea if I've spelt that right) between presents from Santa and presents from others - she can read now but I like the tradition

lol at accidentally buying ribbon!

oh, and i forgot to say that some candy canes I ordered arrived today. Wait for it, they are made by Jelly Belly! I have high hopes for them.

Impressed by all the cakes. And I have now learned about bakers twine!

Oh lord, I am going to spend the next two months obsessively searching for all the lovely things people mention here which inevitably will not be available in Oz.

I am determined to do poncy wrapping this year - despite my best intentions in the past I have been known to be sitting surrounded by (look away those of you with delicate stomachs) cheap paper with santas on at 2am on Christmas morning wrapping the last of the presents. I need to come on here daily to keep motivated!

Squitch we do a different paper for each boy, helps enormously in teh chaos of Christmas Eve.

Am doing ponce this year though, candy canes, hand stamped paper, ds1 is making a feathery Christmas tree hung with dried orange and pine cones and I have been ordered by him to make a matching wreath. DS1 has plans to be a jeweller and so is running the colours it seems! Does mean he will do some beaded bands though to theme basic candles and vases for me, and some circlets to hang.

Then I have to move on cakes; seems schools have all ordered some. As donations, natch

Remarking place under old MN name. (I forayed earlier in this thread into another one, but then rather embarassingly discovered someone else has a too similar one so have changed back)

Have done no poncing as been busy with dd's birthday and it's also 30 degrees still here, but am feeling more pre-festive now as have at least got socks on and am not sweating.

I also have both Delia and Nigella's cook books. Nigella's is my most favourite cookbook of all time, and I just sit and read it sometimes, Delia is more traditional, and of course does that mad Delia thing of explaining in 6 sentences how to slice a tomato.

Are there any more books we need?????? I bought almost everyone a copy of Sarah Raven last year.

Bucharest - I have ordered both so will be joining you in the Christmas cookbook porn ranks. And Delia was only 1p + p&p so practically free!

Last night I soaked my cake fruit, made chutney, made flavoured salt and made two types of flavoured vodka (including christmas pudding) - v excited now

Doesn't everyone accidentally buy ribbon from time to time, then ? I am of East of India ribbon - I was lusting after some of that, but ended up with sparkly satin ribbon (more tasteful than it sounds, honest).

I did candy-striped paper and white ribbon last year, having found a wonderful huge (50m) roll of candy-striped paper (complete with lines on the back - DH found it very amusing quite how much I liked that) at Costco.

This year's Costco paper is not quite as ponce-satisfying, but it is reversible

I have just borrowed the Sarah Raven book from the library and like it very much. It focuses almost as much on flowers and gardening as it does on recipes, so if you're a keen gardener, then you definitely need it. It has some great ideas for table decorations and so on. I'm distinctly NOT a gardener, but have been inspired to experiment with forcing some crocus bulbs for Christmas.

We use a different paper for each dc for the presents Father Christmas brings and another individual paper each for the presents from us. Its a bit of a pain to organise at first, but it really helps on Christmas morning.

I've discovered you can buy massive rolls of that school-style display paper on ebay quite cheaply, so am tempted to get them a different colour each of that this year and stamp it myself - although the older the boys get, the smaller their presents, so perhaps I won't need that much this year?

Ds1 is 9, has AS and is also a firm believer. I bought him the book 'How Santa Really Works' a couple of years ago and it seemed to cement his belief. In his opinion the evidence is irrefutable (sp?). I love it when he tells dd (2.5) to behave, because the elves are watching to make sure she's being good and reporting back to Father Christmas.

I was worried that he would be horribly bullied for still believing, but it seems he just thinks that its the other children who have got it horribly wrong, so sadly the magic won't come to their houses and that's why their parents have to buy them presents instead - he's not easily swayed at the best of times. He says he refuses to discuss it with them these days.

I love that fact that all three of my dcs still believe, as it means we get to do the whole magic footprints from the chimney to the presents, hiding out in the garden, jingling bells when they are too excited to sleep and hiding an extra mini present on the tree from Father Christmas etc.

Oh, am getting all excited about it now!

Treats - I live Christmas by that book - have used it loads the past few Christmases. I have tried lots of the recipes and a few of the flower and decorations, do ask if you want any details!

For making now, can thoroughly recommend the apple and apricot chutney.

I haven't tried any of the recipes yet, but am quite inspired by some of her suggestions for Christmas Eve and breakfasts. I am hosting for the first time this year and my parents are staying from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day, so I think I'll try the Breakfast Granola for Christmas Day.

I'd not really thought of Christmas as a time for flowers and plants - not being particularly minded in that direction - but I can see a whole new vista of ponciness opening up......... If the crocuses go well this year, I might try the narcissi next year - have you done that?

I've done the forced hyacinths and the iris reticulata - and given them as gifts to teachers etc. We have a big party each year and I did the Nero ring last year, which makes not many flowers look like loads. I also make a truly poncetastic Christmas display for the island using her stainless steel bucket, lots of greenery from the garden ( think pittosporum, choisya etc ) and tiny little matt silver and red bauables dangling from thin cotton.

I've saved my allium christophii and schubertii heads this year and will be spraying them silver.

Her granola is okaaay but I make IMO a better one (from Claridges menu!) with vanilla extract and orange zest.

Some of the food I can wholeheartedly recommend:

• cranberry and orange compote - I make 3 weeks ahead and give away 2 jars, prettied up with East of India ribbon, the mulled cider, pecan apple and celery stuffing, pork and pancetta stuffing, mince pies, and the iced berries with hot white choc sauce ( New Years Day tradition now ).

I wasn't keen on the banbury cakes or the very cheesy biscuits.

Moose just ordered that book for ds3 who has ASD and believes but has ds1 insisting on picking it apart- thanks.

DS1 has formally agreed the colour scheme and planned wreaths and decorations for us to make, he's gone for a burnt orange, gold, and pine cone brown theme which will work well in this home. Presents in black and white paper or brown stamped with candy canes and personalised ribbons (ebay, result) instead of name tags. ponce rating has gone +++

Hope he likes it Peachy. I was worried that it might be a bit far fetched in places (like where the elves disguise themselves in dog and cat suits and hide in baubles) but for ds1, it just seemed to give him the answers he needed. He re-reads it every year and if anybody has a question about how Father Christmas manages to get down the chimney etc, he's right there with the answer.

He did get very cross with ds2 last year though. Ds2 had just watched Santa Clause (ds1 is phobic about feature films, so didn't watch it himself) and was telling me how a magic fireplace opens up for people that don't have chimneys. Ds1 was adamant that's not how it works and of course had 'the right' answer about how it actually does work - cue one huge argument as neither one would back down. Ah, the joy of Christmas.

Sounds like you are well ahead in the poncetastic Christmas stakes already!

I'm starting to think there's no way I can ponce enough between now and December - I need to up my game.

This thread is not going to be good for my bank account!

The pop up version of How Santa Works has gone on my amazon shopping list to form part of DS's Christmas Eve 'book and pyjamas' present and I'm desperately trying to justify the Sarah Raven book and the personalised ribbon now too! :)

Blathers - here only a fiver