Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2011 is.....

[FellatioNelson]

open for business. Knock yerselves out.

My sloe gin has been mellowing away for a week , just given it a stir .
And then licked the spoon .
For quality purposes only , you understand .
Very good.
Like the look of pinterest , waiting for my invitation.
Will be making a wreath for the first time , need to do a bit of foraging. But it's been boiling hot today .
How can I be poncetastic when I want to be sunbathing .
Need to look at some websites and make some lists.

Yup have wanted to make a proper wreath for years but need some guidance so will watch with interest.

As an aside, I just asked dh what colour theme we should go with this year, and he didnt bat an eyelid. Think I may just have a poncetastic dh .

Sybil (or anyone), any idea when Ikea Christmas stuff is available? I'm planning a trip next week and hoping it will all be there already....

Oh my word, thank you alouiseg for the pinterest invite. It might have been me breaking it by slobbering all over everything. I am even buying a new cooker this week in order to make things properly...old cooker has one setting which is centre-of-sun-hot.

My DH lets me have free rein to decorate however I like, although I don't get loads of new stuff every year and keep changing the colour schemes.

He is a happy bunny because the Wine Society's Christmas wine catalogue came in the post yesterday. He pores over it in the same way as we all pore over Christmas home designs magazines and gift and decoration catalogues. We should be in for some good wines over the festive season!

Read more of this thread last night, had glass of wine, launched into cox and cox website and waitrose online... woke up this morning and gulped hard at the memory of clicking buy! Still lots of fab things for DS Christmas.

It is my first time christmas shopping in september and ITS ALL YOUR FAULT !

Will be telling DH, Mumsnet made me do it!

For those wanting to make a wreath, I have perused my floristry book collection, and two have clear pictures/illustrations of how to do it:

Paula Pryke's Wreaths and Garlands published by Ryland, Peters and Small.

The Complete Guide to Flower Arranging by Jane Packer published by Dorling Kindersley.

Paula's book includes some crafty items, such as wreaths using shells or dried natural items, Jane's has dried flower arrangements as well as fresh. I should warn you in advance that it can be a long and messy business making a fresh wreath from scratch, at college I had a slug on one hand and a snail on the other as well as mud, the sphagnum moss doesn't always come ready washed! I think this is why most florists don't bother to do them and buy in ready made, they can't afford to lose the man hours in the run up to Christmas. However, you could cheat a bit and use a florists foam wreath ring, then you can just push the stems into it. Another cheat is not to wire individual sprigs of foliage to push into the moss ring, but just to bind them on with reel wire, this works best for wreaths made only from fir, as it doesn't matter if they dry out a bit.

I made a wreath last year, there are some good tutorials on YouTube.

You can order wreath rings and the florists wire on eBay for a few quid.

I made mine with yew and Holly and then dressed them up with glittery pine cones and gold bells, they looked really nice :)

Sounds lovely, Worzsel! One year, the birds picked all the holly berries off my wreath to eat.

Hobbycraft also do stuff for floristry.

I've found my new home

flings herself to the floor and clings on for dear life

I am going to start making cards with the DC this weekend... any ideas?

I'm suspending myself from this thread, it's so hot and sunny outside I have banished all thoughts of Christmas.

See you on Tuesday!

Am joining in, tried to last year but I was living in a small, crappy new build, this year I'll be in a big old Victorian Villa! Much more potential for a poncey Christmas this year.

I know what you mean Alouise. I baked the Christmas cake yesterday and the oven was on for four fecking hours while it was 27 degrees outside!

My christmasy feelings have waned since the hot weather

I'm planning a weekend of pottering in the kitchen making spiced apple chutney and chilli jam.

How dare it be nice weather and ruin our christmasy feelings! tch, bloody weather! I have not had the full benefit of the beautiful weather as I have a horrible cold so have been alternatively sweating and then shivering. So to cheer myself up today I have been buying lovely ribbon and fabric to make stuff with (that's 'stuff' with a lower case 's' as I have NO idea what exactly). I did start making a gingerbread man garland last night, but i got distracted and only made one, but I have all day Sunday to laze about and if it's still nice I am going to take my sewing machine outside and sit under the tree and do some making of nice poncey christmasy things (and piss the neighbours off)

Agree - Summer has made a brief re-appearance, so Christmas goes on hold. Off camping for the weekend.

Normal ponciness will be resumed next week.

Humph to the nice weather. My Christmas ponce-ness is undeterred, and I have been happily buying Christmas decorations (thanks for the Achica rec btw) and ribbon and stuff for wrapping, and have been making flavoured salt as presents.
Have we done flavoured salt? BRILLIANT homemade Christmas present as looks lovely, very easy to make and lasts forever so you can make it early, and stack up the kilner jars and feel all smug. I found 'recipes' online but I have some for Italian salt and stir-fry salt if anyone is interested? Going away tonight but can post tomorrow. Just made four jars and might die of feeling-pleased-with-self-ness.
I had a big epiphany reading this post this week, too. Every year I have been chastising myself that our house doesn't look like a scene from a Christmas film, and this year I finally realised that if I a) buy some more decorations and b) buy them early so I can assemble them / plan where they'll go and c) make some stuff, but make it all really early.... then together these simple steps might actually make a difference. As opposed to my previous plans which were basically : a) get Christmas decorations out in December. b) wish could buy more but have no time to do so. c) chastise self for pitifully un-Christmassy looking house.
I have also bought some of the plain willow wreaths from Cox and Cox, thinking I could stick stuff on the bottom of them, and tie ribbon round them, and maybe change them each year if I started to be overwhelmed by Christmas ponciness!

OOh, I like the idea of flavoured salt. I'd love the recipe please. It sounds like an easy accomplishment! I know what you mean about being organised MrPru. I have DC3 due in November so that is my deadline for anything christmassy. I ordered my cake form a friend who does the yummiest one and focus on decorating and chutney this year. All things that can be done in advance and an investment for future years and christmas ease!

I am going to put poncing on hold for a short while, so that we can have a last week end of barbeques. (I tried to have poncetastic bbq food this summer, but the eating outside bit was sadly lacking!)

The heat is getting to me, I've spelled barbecue wrong in previous post.

Hello from the USA. Man they have some tacky Chrimbo stuff here out in the sticks.

I have however purchased a 5" angel cookie cutter that i am going to make into an angel for the top of my tree. I am thnking it will look amazing with lots of white wired ribbon wrapped around it and some lights strategically placed. Will have to have a play when i get home.

Cox and cox code 25% off is:

BSC21

Thank you Vesta1 who told me on another thread

Hello, am I allowed on the thread.

After a couple of less than satisfying Christmases, I am determined to regain my Christmas Mojo and do things right this year.

I did manage to make hampers for friends and family last year, that worked out quite well (picture on my profile - I think, if you can see it) but that was about it as far as ponce was concerned and if I'm honest, I left it too late to start, so even that was far more stressful than it should have been.

Thank you for introducing me to Pinterest. I have been looking for something like that for ages. I'm a demon for saving millions of images and links online but not having them organised in any usable format. I am also planning a large-ish vintage tea/garden party for our wedding anniversary next July and desperately need to be able to see and organise my ideas for my plans to start taking shape. Pinterest will be perfect for that as well as Christmas.

Now, I'm on the thread - if you'll have me. Keen as mustard, but don't have a clue where to start. Any advice from all you wonderful Poncetastic Christmas veterans?

Next question, does anyone know how long the Pinterest waiting list is at the moment?