Fellatio's thread for a Poncetastic Christmas.

[FellatioNelson]

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

We did little white handprintd as angels wings and a foot (toes down) as her body, little pink face and a face - gold glitter halo - but we did have atiny baby last year a 14 year old's feet might be too big.

homemade card ideas

Brown paint foot-print for reindeer face and red hand-prints for antlers. (Heel makes the muzzle end.) Draw in eyes with marker pen.

Who hoo! We made 'Hot Threads' on the roundup

Oh can I join the farmer next door has just told me christmas dinner has arrived,

I am making sweet treat hampers for adults,
so far I am thinking of the list
white choc & cranberry fudge
ordinary fudge
malteaser crunchies
hot Chocolates & marsh mallows
(oh actually I wonder could I make my own marsh mallows)
maybe homemade honeycomb

and was thinking of Bailies fudge but will need some tips, need to know how long it will last for

Might do christmas cakes if I have time

oh why did I see this thread

oh and my credientials are I tutted in disgust at my MIL when she suggested I get a window seat made in bay window

ME: eerrrmmmm don't think so where will my christmas tree go????

she thinks I'm barmy

Loving this thread.
Slightly gutted I will be 39 weeks pg and missing THIS so will have to make do with the Christmas Issue only.

I made my own stockings for DP, DS & myself 3 years ago. And...(get this for poncetastic) even cut out another stocking should another baby come along...which it will have done, by the end of November this year.
So looking forward to being on maternity leave over the festive period and going all out on the home made decorations. As I live by the seaside, I'm thinking driftwood type garlands with pinecones and fairylights.

Just wish I had a house I could actually fit a proper sized Christmas tree into!

I am loving those crochet snowflakes rnbsmum, but have only ever knitted before, are they tricky? They would go really nicely with my knitted mini stockings.

I really like your robins too foundwanting but mum has a bizarre fear of ornamental birds. Mad woman.

I am thinking of some gold bells tied on red ribbon, does anyone know where you can buy them?

Thrilled about this thread - Im pretty sure I qualify. Handmade cards, handmade crackers, handmade gift tags.

I spend about a week cooking for every stray family-less friend in London. I recommend they starve themselves for a week in order to cope with the volume of food involved.

I can live without presents under the tree with my name on them - but please please let me be the hostess with the mostess

Highly recommend making your own crackers - its very easy to do - and the kids can help (if you'll allow them near your masterpieces)

It also saves you a fortune - crackers are so expensive and not nearly as nice as a handmade one with a hand picked tiny present inside.

sybilvimes What about a reindeer?

Or a pudding?

Oh why oh why did I click on those links I CAN'T CROCHET, I love them, they would even be beautiful little gifts for someone or attached on to present as part of the wrapping

sybilvimes I have bought goldbells one year in Homebase & another in BnQ only a few £ for a tube load

I did this stamping of brown wrapping paper with red and green holly and star-shaped stamps some years ago, but foolishly decided to wrap presents before stamping to achieve the optimal aesthetic effect for each parcel.

The bad news? The paint soaked through onto the gifts...

Oooooooh, am loving this thread.

I've already got the brown paper bags, ribbons and little bells for wrapping up the presents.

DH has been building our extension and my main input into the design was to have a power point outside for the Christmas lights

What a lovely thread, I can't wait to started on some of the ideas.
xx

How lovely are those reindeers Foundwanting?!! Marvelous! sybilvimes - I do lots of knitting but am very new to crochet so the snowflakes must be very easy if I can manage!

Am so sorry, clearly it should be "reindeer" without an 's'

Right, I so need to find someone who can teach me to crochet. It is obviously essential to my having a truely poncy christmas. Those patterns are fantastic foundwanting

Thanks for the tip on bells PlumBumMum I will keep my eyes open over the next few months.

My mum and dad turned up yesterday with a bucket load of sloes so will be buying cheap gin later. Is it ok to put them back into a screw top gin bottle?

ooh, what sort of syrup?
Can recommend Mary Berry's Turkey Chin Chow recipe for left over turkey otherwise not usually very imaginative.

We bought a new fire with a surround and hearth this year specifically so that I could decorate it with tat tasteful decorations and hang stockings from it.

I found lots of poncetastic Christmas magazines in the charity shop yesterday so am having a good wallow. I am also eyeing up the Country Living Christmas book on the shelf - too soon?

My fireplace has progressed from a jagged hole to a neater hole and swept chimbley. Coming next week - actual heat! And a place to swag stuf too.

I bought the decorations for the fire place last year, even though we didn't know we were going to buy this house. But I knew we were moving and whatever house we bought was going to have a fire and somewhere for stockings to be hung.

And a hallway big enough for a Christmas tree.

Probably not everyone's criteria for making a property purchase

But every sensible persons criteria sandsad surely?

Have finalised the design of this year's cards. Purchased the materials. Not started making them yet - any day now ;)

FattyArbuckel by tradition you should make you pudding on Stir-Up Sunday, this year 28th November (is a variable church date) so lots of time to research the best recipe. I use my Grandmother's recipe. Elderly female relatives are always a good place to start with this sort of thing - lots of make-do and mend experience!