Fellatio's thread for a Poncetastic Christmas.

[FellatioNelson]

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

Found some!

Thank you sybilvimes. I thought so.

I got some from HofF last year which were tiny cystal flowers but too delicate to risk outside.

Lots of wreaths here

Judging by the number of pics 'coming soon', the implication is that we are getting ahead of ourselves.

Sunshine what about one of those door hook things that you can get for indoors? The ones that go over the top of the door. Or would you wreath be too high?

Maplin have got some solar powered lights on their website. If I let DH go there for gadget shopping I think the chances of getting my lights are pretty high.

I've disgraced myself

Gave in to DS and bought chocolate coins in the supermarket

If I only use them sprinkled between lovingly chosen/home made treats in his home made stocking will I be forgiven?

Someone wanted a black and silver garland.

Any good?

Someone please tell me to stop browsing Christmas web-sites. I have no money this year and I've already got a loft full of stuff anyway.

Thanks Lee :)

Should NOT have look at the garland website. I found this I want it for my tree now!!

Please can I join? I've only just found you. Here are my credentials;

• I have booked to go to 'Spirit of Christmas' in London already
• I have booked a mini-break to Brussels for a Christmas market
• My fave book ever is Nigella's Christmas
• I have bought several presents already I decorate the house and garden (I think) beautifully BUT* (and I fear this might disqualify me from joining) - I have an artificial tree in the kitchen.....

In my defence, underfloor heating, lots of glass and an Aga mean that they just shrivel and die and I do have a lovely real one in my grown up living room. Please can I still join? Please?

Oooh, strange things happened in bold! Sorry!

I would really like a new felt hanging advent calender. Realistically would it be cheaper to make one or buy one and hope dp doesnt laugh at my attempt.

I'm marking my place here too.
I have today purchased a Portmeirion Christmas pudding bowl in which to make my Delia pud. The holly and ivy etc on it determine that it will remain in its cardboard box for the remainder of the year.
Do I qualify?

How early can I make my pudding?

I'm marking my place because this very important thread has dropped off TIO.

allthatjazz TBH probably cheaper to buy than make since the first rule of poncey decorating is that by the time you have gone to all that effort & bought all the special materials, it would be cheaper to buy it in Tesco.

but this is gorgeous

I'm making sloe gin...again..and am going to try Limoncello as gifts. Does anyone know of any other good/easy/cheapish boozy drinks to make??
Xmas cake already made after fruit steeped overnight in a bottle of rum (smug)

Minky - I am making mine this weekend :)

Cake is on the agenda for a few weeks time, DD2's advent calendar is being made bit by bit - 24 felt stockings with a number stitched on.

Oops, sorry but a PVC door just will not do. You must immediately replace it with a wooden one painted in a sludgy F&B colour.

Hello, ponces. Just marking my place too.

Sunshine No, haven't used the site for anything other than festive porn. I think I might though...

Blatherskite Love that garland. I think I'm getting swayed by my love of shopping and fogetting my poncey aspirations.

However, there was a crochet thread the other day that linked to a crocheted Here Do you think I could make some in gold yarn either for my tree or even as gifts?

I'll try again.

Crochet Robin

Taffetacat, I always serve tiramisu on Christmas Day, plus meringues and whipped cream, and a pumpkin pie as the DCs are American. Tiramisu being a sort of trifle anyhow, my reasoning goes.

Nothing makes warm water pretty like a bowl of unsurpassed Christmassyness.

Taffetacat - it's always a larf!! Two enormous bowls with the ingredients divvied up and then the scrummy mixture is shared between us, usually about 6 puddings. (Would be more if the various kids' stirring didn't result in so much on the floor .) Am loving the truly ponce-fabulous advent calendars.