nephew has not got much longer left [sad]

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

doctors have gave him a few months am devasted. i cannot talk to anyone about this as sil doesnt want people to know how bad things are looking for him.

she is still praying for a miracle and doesnt want nephew to give up hope. he is havvng one bought of treatmnt here to try and slow it and then sil and bil are taking him abroad to meet with a world renouned cancer specialist.

im am just praying that sil gets her miracle and trying not to cry while i write this as dd1 is still up and she will know something is wrong.

How sad. It is every parent's worst nightmare.

Practicalities - can you get insurance on your mortgage? (I have no idea how it works)

I'm so sorry for everyone involved.

I am so sorry.

A practical piece of advice - take out some unemployment/extended sick leave insurance for your husband now. They will ask about his current health, employment etc but no-one can predict what it may be in a few months so questions about that will not come up.

Look at mortgage protection policies. Most don't cover the first 30 days, so find some money to cover this. It could be that your DH's GP may be willing to sign him off?

How long has he worked for his employer?

Suggestion: put a query under employment as there are some brilliant people there.

Am so sorry about this. Good though that your DH is being honest about his ability/inability to cope.

Is there anything fun that could be arranged for your nephew so you can all have something to look forward to?

sil and bil are both really strong they are both coping with this really well. but i cant even begin to contemplate what is going through their heads.

they have a lot of family and friends around them so they will get all the help and support that they need.

i guess im not worrying about them so much because i cant even bear to think about the hurt and sheer panick that they are feeling.

re the morgate cover dh has looked into it before and said that because he has epilepsy we cant afford it because th payments are too high. but i might mention it again to him when he is feeling better. we only found out yesterday and dh didnt take it well.

he is in bed having a lie in now.

My life has been torn apart by bereavement of two of my children. I dont often pray but I will pray for all of you today. Miracles can happen.

Will carry you in my heart today. xx

i think dh is planning on asking a friend to drive them to see his fave football team play at home and stay overnight there.

they went to see them play at man u last time he went through this and nephew loved it. since we have had dd2 nephew doesnt get to see so much of dh because he is busy with our dds. but im going to make sure that he makes more time for nephew.

he fell to pieces after he lost his dad to cancer and he says he feels worse about this. you expect to lose your parents at some point in your life but not your nephews. he knows he didnt cope last time and says he will try to bne string for our children but id rather him not have the extra pressure of having to go back to work.

he has worked in his job for a long time but has used all his annual sick leave. his doctor signed him off with depression and stress when we were going through a rough patch and he moved out.

im sorry to hear that shabster. im feeling so bad over nephew i cannot even imagine how much more it would hurt if he was my son.

i have no idea how sil and bil are managing to cope right now. but i guess they have to for neice and nephew

Having other children to care for and love will be there main reason for carrying on as 'normal.' Take care and please pass on my love to them. Sending hope and love from Lancashire

so sad. thinking and praying for you all.

Seashells i'm so sorry to hear your news, i think it is only natural for you to worry about the effects this will have on your family as well as feeling sad about your nephew. No words of wisdom just my thoughts & prayers

Maybe his employer would cut him some slack - OK it's not strictly immediate familty, but pretty much anyone would see losing someone that young to cancer would be devastating - probably more so than with a mum or dad.

Wish I could do more than wishing, but am wishing hard for that miracle. Some kind of counselling now for your dp might help?

Seashells, thoughts are with you and your family.

I can highly recommend counselling - My eldest son was 10 when his little brother was killed and I personally think his counsellor saved his life...he would talk to her for hours and we could often hear him crying from outside the office...BUT he has become a wonderful, caring man who recently became a first time daddy.

Counselling cannot hurt any of you but it can be a massive help when its difficult to talk to each other about things.

ill mention counselling to dh. sil and bil have been offered it anyway and have a childrens version of a macmillon nurse working with them to help them come to terms with what is going on.

congrats on your gc shabster. your son sounds wonderfully strong.

Oh, I'm so very sorry, shesells.

no words but sending (((hugs)))

Did anyone mention Winston's Wish yet ?

winston's wish

The child doesn't know...

Wouldn't this make it obvious or are they used to dealing with this sort of thing?

I think chil;dren do know somehow, I think I knew db was dying but wouldn't allow myself to think of it, really wish though that I'd have been prepared - it has resonated all through my life..it might have helped a lot at the time, but obviously everyone is different..I'm just saying that I suffered because I was unable to deal with the grief at the time

thank you for that. i have saved th link and will give to to sil or to dh to pass it on to her.

they have been scouring the internet to find ways to help nephew so she may have already come across it. they are used to dealing with it ilovemydog. they do intend to tell niece and nephew whats going on and i think they will be getting advise on how best to tell them but they dont want to do it untill they really have to.

we have a friend who has cancer and was told by doctors that she would be lucky to live to last x mas and she is still here and shows no signs of leaving us anytime soon. she is on those new tablets, so im hoping that nephew will be offered them and that they will have the same effect on him. but i dont know if he will even be suitable for them.