Please or to access all these features

Children's health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

My daughter might die and I can’t cope

166 replies

PunnyDeer · Yesterday 19:25

My daughter is 2 1/2 months old.
She was born poorly with a condition called chylotorax. Doctors did genetic testing and found out she has Noonan Syndrome.
She recently outgrew NICU and was transferred to our local children hospital’s PICU.

She got an infection and is very poorly. I didn’t realise how sick she was until this morning, one of her doctor’s offered to call the palliative team in case the worse comes to the worse.
He said her situation is very dangerous, and there’s a real risk she might pass away, and it could even be this weekend. She could get better but there’s a serious risk she does not. Her underlying condition is also still present.

Theres so much going on with her, I don’t write it down as it upsets me too much.

I can’t cope!! I don’t know I will cope if I lose her! I’ve never been in so much pain. She’s on the oscillator and sedated. I can’t look at her without breaking down. I am beyond terrified.
We don’t have childcare but my husband’s family is on their way to us. In the meantime I’m in our Ronald McDonald House with my other kids, and my husband is with her.

I am a mess.
How do people do this? Will I be in agony and sad for the rest of my life is she passes?
How do you ever come to term with that? Will any of us ever be happy again?
I want to die if she passes.
All she’s ever known is the hospital rooms and machines, she’s never seen anything beautiful.
I only got to hold her a handful of times. She only got to have my milk or formula a couple times because they stopped feeding her.

She was starting to get so much better and was off respiratory support a couple weeks ago, and now she’s on an oscillatory ventilator!! How is that possible??

OP posts:
Noshowlomo · Yesterday 23:53

I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Hold onto your children and take any support you can during this time. Sending you love xxxx

Skdkhvyvrhej · Yesterday 23:54

Sirzy · Yesterday 19:51

I think this is one of the most beautiful posts I have ever read on here.

It really is.

I have tears in my eyes Op. Will be thinking of you and praying 🌷

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · Yesterday 23:55

So sorry dear @PunnyDeer for what you are going through.
Praying for you and your dear baby x

Hydrangeblueeyes · Yesterday 23:59

I don't have the words to express my sorrow for you. Nothing can take away that you are her mother and she will always be your daughter.

BrokenWingsCantFly · Today 00:01

So sorry, just heartbreaking. Really hope your little girl defies the odds and gets through this 💐

Floppyearedlab · Today 00:09

Just sit by her OP. She will see something beautiful - the beauty of the love from her parents and siblings.
You will find a way to get by. Your lovely children will keep you strong.

treacledan71 · Today 00:11

I am so sorry. Thinking of you all. X

Itsthewoluff · Today 00:13

You’ll cope because you have no choice but to cope, and your other children need you!

You are stronger than you think. You will get through this. You’ll never forget her but your other children will bring you joy in the future. Sending love and strength.

Carjuke · Today 00:22

Am thinking of you. Just remember that you are an amazing Mum and you will somehow get through this…whatever the outcome.🌸🩷So much love here from everyone.Xxx

sadmummy123456 · Today 00:25

I’m so sorry for what you and your family are going through right now. There is a range of support available, including the chaplaincy, psychology (in hospital teams) and counselling services (accessed via hospital teams/GP/self-refferal).

I really hope your baby girl recovers. Sending strength, love and light to you and her.

Mybrowsaresisters · Today 00:28

Sending love to you, heartbreaking. I hope your baby girl pulls through xx

LeftieRightsHoarder · Today 00:34

Sending you and your much-loved baby all the love and strength I can send, OP. You are so deeply filled with love for her. I hope she will recover and grow up enjoying the happy life you will create for her xxx

Lexie365 · Today 00:38

Please pray jesus🙏🏻 what have you got to lose? I will pray for you and your baby girl❤️ jesus christ of nazareth I trust in you completely🙏🏻 by your stripes this child is healed🙏🏻❤️🙌🏻

Sunshine1500 · Today 00:42

Thoughts and prayers to you and your baby, hope she’s recovering ❤️‍🩹

Female123456 · Today 00:42

wow 😢
you have been sooo strong so far.
so incredibly strong.

you have the strength
dig deep you will find it
dig deep

how extremely upsetting this must be for you.
life must feel so unfair right now
🫂🤝
sorry for that

'i want to die'.😢
she would not want you to die

you are her mum

you have done all you can.
i hope doctors can help her and
she will get through it.
🩷🤗

Sayearlgrey · Today 00:51

Sending love and strength to you all x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread