DD (14) doesn't want braces

[TerrificEchidnaSpikes]

Several years ago at a routine checkup, our regular NHS dentist observed that DD might be developing a slight overbite and referred her for orthodontic assessment. We've had plenty of subsequent dental checkups and nothing more was said about this possible overbite. Recently (I'd practically forgotten about it) we suddenly got a phone call from orthodontist clinic saying we had finally reached the top of the waiting list, offering us an appointment.

At the appointment it didn't feel much like an assessment but more like "this will be happening" IYSWIM. We were told that there would be several appointments even before the braces are fitted (records, extractions, etc) and then regular appointments for the next 2 years. I had braces myself as a teen so I wasn't surprised, just nodded along and made notes.

But after we came out of the clinic, DD said that she doesn't want the braces. She says she is perfectly happy with her teeth and doesn't think she has a significant overbite (I argued the point that she's not the dentist, which she conceded). But her main objection is that she's now into GCSE years and doesn't want to miss so many lessons - apparently all her friends who have/had braces had them in lower years. She is absolutely adamant.

For context, the orthodontic clinic is not near school and would require huge chunks of travel time/disruption (no direct public transport links, would always require one of us to drive her). I did suggest we could mitigate it a bit by choosing very early or late appointments and trying to grab holiday appointments where possible.

DH and I are torn. On the one hand, clearly essential healthcare is the most important thing. On the other hand, how can we be sure that this is essential healthcare, and thus whether it overrides GCSE education? And finally, neither of us would want to make DD have this treatment unless it really is essential.

Good plan. The things I'd point out are:

1. At her age the teeth will be easier to mould . Not like an adults.

1. It is likely free. If she changes her mind in adult hood it will cost her thousands possibly.

Best of luck

My 13yo has braces. White brackets and white wires. She didn't qualify for nhs as her problems are very minimal and so we've gone privately. £5.5k for white train tracks but she's happy she's doing it, all her friends have them (year 9). She has a special camera that attaches to her phone so she sends a scan of her teeth via an app every two weeks and then goes for face to face checks every 12ish weeks. Easy. She's 9 months into a 15m process.

They don't revert back to the original position so this isn't true. They change slightly yes but I never wore a retainer after mine were off for the past 20 years and my teeth are still straight, before braces they were honestly horrendous in my teens.

This! Hardly anyone had braces years ago. Why is that?

I opted out of braces as a teen because my teeth weren’t that bad. I later really wanted straight teeth and wished my parents had made me get them. I ended up paying around £5K for Invisalign in my 30s and now love my teeth.

However, if there is a genuine risk it will impact her GCSEs I would prioritise those. Teeth can wait but GCSEs will only happen once.

Sounds tricky, can you find out if it’s a borderline case or if they would strongly recommend? One of my DC had braces but wouldn’t wear them because they were the sort that have to be removed at school at lunch and cleaned and they thought they looked alright, which they do.

If it’s the non-fixed kind you can’t make them keep them in when you’re not there. My DC can’t eat apples now and dentist has said they are likely to need jaw surgery at some point. I think this might have been avoided with braces at the right time. But brace wearers need to be committed as there are lots of things to avoid so that braces don’t indirectly damage teeth.

After braces came off other DC had to wear retainer every night for three months and now just 2x a week for life.

@Ollifer im afraid you are very wrong. I’ve recently retired after thirty odd years of being a dentist in various primary and secondary care settings.

Your teeth are genetically programmed to live where they were, moving them is somewhat like dyeing your hair. The genetics will prevail. This is variably true depending on the type of malocclusion, some rearrangements are self retaining, usually localised crosssbites involving incisors. Never class 2 div 2 occlusions and never crowding.

Of course, your n=1 personal experience is valuable but it’s irrelevant.

My DD has braces. They have to be adjusted every 6 weeks. In year 6 I took her after the last break time so pulled her out at 2.30. Now she is year 7 I make appointments at 4 so she doesn't miss any school.

I'd encourage DD to get it sorted now. She'll feel even less like doing it once she's left school and started socialising in pubs etc.

My DS1 said "No!" Because he didn't feel he needed them and not many children at school has them. But after visiting the orthodontist and him explaining that the tooth that is ever so slightly forward of the other teeth has clearly been knocked a few times and if it continues to get knocked it could die completely and he'd lose the front tooth he quickly changed his mind to say yes.

Very few children "want" braces but your job as a parent is to do the best for them and ensure that they do.

I didn't think you were going to force her, it was the people saying their child would have it done regardless. I think you are right to discuss it and of course she gets a say.

@Imreallytiredandanxioustoday we get a text with the next appointment, no chance to arrange it around school or when is most convenient.

That's rubbish. We arrange ours as we leave the appointment and I say what time suits me. I have to leave work to take her so I want to make it as easy as possible.
Ours Ali's about 30 minutes drive usually but because of school traffic it takes 45 minutes. It's a pain in the ass but all DDs adult teeth were through so the dentist said to get the ball rolling. She had them out on last August so we're only a few months away from getting them off thankfully.

DD1 has just had her first orthodontics appointment. It was only 5 minutes long, to assess if the need was there, timing (he was happy for her to wait another year or so) and if her teeth were strong enough.

Next appointment is scans and xrays.

So you could go to this first appointment. If it is like DD's, it doesn't mean she is committed to a path.

I genuinely didn't know this so apologies. I'm actually curious as to why mine have stayed pretty much in place I never wore my retainer I was 16 when I had them off and didn't want to, stupidly. Thanks for explaining though 🙂

My DD has a moderate overbite, like her father; like PP, her teeth look straight. We were in the same situation. In the end, she refused braces, said herself that if she's not completely in, she won't do the work needed.
We explained the pros and cons and how it was easier to get it done successfully now she's still young. But it would require years of braces and guards.
If she decides to do it later, she'll do it.

When we were told ds would need braces (hse rsther than nhs) I was dubious because his teeth are straight and the overbite wasn’t especially obvious. With AuDHD and PDA traits it wasn’t going to be easy. . But it was made clear that the world would end if he didn’t. Lots of talk of breaking his jaw etc.

6 months in, and with significant oral sensory issues, he can still only tolerate them for a few hours at a time. When he wears them at night, he pops them out in his sleep.

At the last appointment they asked me what exactly it was that I was hoping to achieve, as if I was unreasonably focused on cosmetic appearance, and declared that the overbite was hardly noticeable and not likely to cause any issues.

I can’t believe I put him through any of it.

I was recommended braces at about 13/14. My dad was with me at the appointment and quoted the proverb about not letting the best becoming the enemy of the good.

I wasn't bothered then and 30 years later I'm still not. No regrets about not getting it done. I think I have an overbite. Not sure.

My DD15 currently has a brace as she has an overbite, initially she didn't want one. NHS don't pay for cosmetic reasons, only medical. How is your daughter's bite, my daughter's wasn't lined up and she might have worn molars down more over the years without them being lined up. 10 months in now and she is glad she has had them, we are starting to see the difference. It's only a short time, and we are so lucky to be able to have it done free on the NHS. Your daughter might regret it.

A bit of an overbite is not a medical/dental need. My DD has one, so does my SIL, so does my GS. It is if no relevance to anything. They just live their lives proud of who they are and how they look.
Clearly a massive overbite is a different thing, but making a big deal of a small one just encourages dissatisfaction in their looks which is not healthy.

If they are free now, I think I would point out they will be expensive should she decide to have it done in the future.

DS16 has just had braces fitted. His issue isn’t that bad (no extractions) and doesn’t qualify for NHS braces - they are costing us £3k. His view was he’d rather have it done now, while someone else is paying!

For me I will be honest, it was non negotiable, I just told them it was happening and I was lucky they didn’t object but i would have said that i had the final word on it. I actually paid for 2 of my 3 to have braces as they didn’t qualify for NHS and it’s so worth it so they have lovely teeth. If they want to correct it when they are older it is v expensive. My teeth look straight but my alignment isn’t good and I’ve got lots of chips in my teeth which could totally have been avoided

NHS treatment would probably not have been offered to any of you in this case.
NHS usually treats medical need not cosmetics. These days it's hard enough to get an NHS dentist, let alone get orthodontic work offered.

To add, the appointments are about 5 minutes every 8 weeks. The orthodontist is the same town as the school and school actually lets them leave, go to the appointment and come back. I think they see the entire school at that orthodontist

My dd needed braces, she also really didn't want to miss school. (No idea why some people doubt that missing school isn't a real concern for some kids and that they'd need any other reason!) The school was about an hours bus journey one way in the next town up from us, the orthodontist ~20 mins drive into next town down.

So, the only solution was wangling late afternoon appointments. And the only way to do that was for one of us to pick her up from school instead of her using the bus (fine) but also paying for her to have the treatment privately.

Obviously that wasn't cheap but it fortunately doable for us. They actually preferred it being paid via a finance plan so it wasn't a huge lump of cash at once.

We had a discussion over dinner last night, kept it light and with a bit of back-and-forth. I used some of the information you have provided on this thread (about frequency of appointments, possible future implications, etc). And I think DD is coming around slightly. She's agreed to attend the next appointment which will be further assessment and "records." It will give us further opportunity to ask the orthodontist more questions.