DD (14) doesn't want braces

[TerrificEchidnaSpikes]

Several years ago at a routine checkup, our regular NHS dentist observed that DD might be developing a slight overbite and referred her for orthodontic assessment. We've had plenty of subsequent dental checkups and nothing more was said about this possible overbite. Recently (I'd practically forgotten about it) we suddenly got a phone call from orthodontist clinic saying we had finally reached the top of the waiting list, offering us an appointment.

At the appointment it didn't feel much like an assessment but more like "this will be happening" IYSWIM. We were told that there would be several appointments even before the braces are fitted (records, extractions, etc) and then regular appointments for the next 2 years. I had braces myself as a teen so I wasn't surprised, just nodded along and made notes.

But after we came out of the clinic, DD said that she doesn't want the braces. She says she is perfectly happy with her teeth and doesn't think she has a significant overbite (I argued the point that she's not the dentist, which she conceded). But her main objection is that she's now into GCSE years and doesn't want to miss so many lessons - apparently all her friends who have/had braces had them in lower years. She is absolutely adamant.

For context, the orthodontic clinic is not near school and would require huge chunks of travel time/disruption (no direct public transport links, would always require one of us to drive her). I did suggest we could mitigate it a bit by choosing very early or late appointments and trying to grab holiday appointments where possible.

DH and I are torn. On the one hand, clearly essential healthcare is the most important thing. On the other hand, how can we be sure that this is essential healthcare, and thus whether it overrides GCSE education? And finally, neither of us would want to make DD have this treatment unless it really is essential.

I remember ds’s braces came off the day before his 18 th birthday. His teeth were stunning.

Dd initially refused. She had a big overbite and they crossed over at the front. She finally agreed. Now 18 months later they are much better and don’t cross. You can see how straight her teeth are becoming behind them.

You don’t get referred on the NHS for no reason. The criteria is very tough.

I wish I'd had them younger. I'm now having to wear braces in my 30s at a cost of thousands of pounds!

I have the same issue with my son. He doesn't want it corrected. Takes a lot of effort on the part of the child. My dd had them and she was fully on board but it was still an effort! I don't think it's necessary for a small overbite.

Can recommend Invisalign, appointments at a time that suits you as it's private then the adjusted ones are just delivered to your home. I wouldn't force her into the NHS treatment when another option exists that she can fund when she older if she wants or you can pay for now.

www.invisalign.co.uk/treatable-cases/overbite

I’d really encourage her to go for it. She really won’t miss much school. She’ll be offered check ups no more frequently than every 6-8 weeks and with my son we made sure they were at lunch time or end of the day.
The NHS won’t offer orthodontic treatment unless it’s needed. My son had NHS treatment for a significant over jet but we paid to go private for dd who just had a few crooked teeth. They both have perfect smiles now.
You can’t force her I suppose but I’d let her know how much you’d like her to have this treatment.

Not my experience, DS was offered braces which he decided against, his teeth are only very very slightly off perfect. When he said no, the dentist said “that’s fine, I wouldn’t bother with them either in your case!”

DD has braces not because of wonky teeth but because two adult back molars were growing at an angle and wouldn’t come through on their own. It’s been a complete pain in the bum - appointments every 6/8 weeks, 9/10 times one of the brackets will ping off, or the wire will pop out. She learnt to put the wire back herself pretty quick, but the brackets mean another appointment…was supposed to take 12/18mths, has now been 20mths so hopefully we are on the home straight, but the time off school and my time driving her to appointments has been significant.

Have they said the treatment will be on the NHS and not you paying? If so then she does need them doing as it's virtually impossible to get NHS orthodontic treatment. You have to have a significant issue.

My DD who is nearly 16 has had braces on for 18 months and is only half way though her treatment. She had an overjet so I think that's what you mean for your DD. Hers are on the NHS as she met the requirements. Her orthodontist said she would be out of braces for her A levels! Everybody is being seen much later due to Covid slowing everything down apparently.

Anyway I didn't think her teeth were that bad but now I look back at photos I can see how much improvement there has been already. It's most definitely worth it. Plus no one gives a monkeys about people wearing braces.

Regarding appointments we manage ours taking the last sessions in the day and aim for holidays. Occasionally that cannot happen but once you've started treatment it's easier planning the appointments.

I massively regret not having braces when I was a teen , I would certainly get more information because your daughter cannot imagine herself with an overbite , and it will happen gradually , then it will possibly be too late without lots of money.

Thanks again for all the input.

To clarify:

Yes this is NHS.

I actually do have a preference, but wanted to hear both sides so I can get a clearer idea of what I would be arguing for/against.
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I'm in favour of DD getting braces (as I said in my OP I myself had braces as a teen) whilst also being uncomfortable with "making" her do it if she really doesn't want to - after all we're not talking going to Kumon lessons here, but potentially painful physical interventions inside her mouth!

I turned down braces at her age then had to pay out thousands in my twenties when I regretted not having them done. I wish I’d been put under a little more pressure. I personally would accept it’s her choice but hammer home the benefits and look for ways to address her concerns. For example speak to the dentist about the medical need, outline the cost to her if she wants to do it later down the line, and then speak to the dentist and see whether they can offer early morning or after school appointments

I completely agree with this. I have one who had the braces and one who said no. We respected their choices. I have spent enough time in orthodontic departments to hear kids being told they are going to lose teeth if they don't improve their hygiene and it is a commitment with braces.

I don't think either of mine have regrets.

Mines autistic too.

But l never had braces, so l didn’t know they hurt. So she had them done. They hurt her a bit at first but she’s fine with it.

We need to trust our teenagers sometimes more than we do.
Their bodies, their rights.

Honestly if she's happy with her teeth, just leave it.

I had braces when older, and thinking back I'm not sure how committed I would have been as a teenager to cleanliness, wearing elastics, etc. However, if my child was in the same situation now, I'd go to a private orthodontist for both a second opinion and to cost privately. This will give you peace of mind that you have sought advice elsewhere (especially if extractions are on the cards), whatever they say. It will also possibly give you another option that might be more convenient for appointments etc. If cost is prohibative, it will also give that aspect for both you and DD to think over if it is something she might do in the future. As others have said, it's not always just about the cosmetic appearance. Although my teeth are now much better, I have irreparable jaw alignment issues, a significant click on one side and discomfort with that. It may always have been an issue, but leaving my orthodontic issues so long definitely didn't help.

I'm slightly torn on this one because I was similar to your daughter at 14. It wasn't an overbite with me but a gap in my front teeth. I refused the brace, my parents were fine with that at the time, and then by the time I was 25 the gap had widened substantially to the point where I was very unhappy with it. I paid £1000's for private treatment. I wish they had just made me have it tbh.

I think you need to have a conversation with your dentist about how essential it is and their reasoning for it - is it actually just cosmetic or not?

Also find out the real reason she's refusing - is it really because of missing lessons or is it because of what it will look like (most teenagers are very self conscious about braces)? Either way, I think both of those things can be challenged and reassured to be honest.

I love the "it's only a year or two." With mine it was 7 years of regular visits, teeth being removed and ultimately orthognathic surgery.

For a slight overbite though?

I had them as a teen and didn't miss much school, the discomfort was only for a day or 2 each time they were tightened. Unfortunately, following treatment, the orthodontist told me to wear my retainer at night for 5 years which I did plus I think another couple of years on top of that before I lost them. Since I was only told they were needed for 5 years and I have a fixed retainer on some teeth, I didn't bother replacing the retainer...now paying £2.5k for the pleasure of having braces re-fitted in my 30's (that's only my top teeth as I can't afford to get bottom ones as well). They moved back very gradually so it wasn't noticeable until it was too far gone for a retainer unfortunately.
I would strongly advise her to take the NHS treatment while it is being offered but only if she is willing to maintain the result.

Didn't they offer to just cut the upper freenum? Or is there another reason for gap? Mine was just an over large freenum and once gone the teeth just gradually moved together.

No idea, but no, they didn't offer this so I assume it wasn't suitable for me.

Well that's how it started and everyone said a brace but that wasn't how it ended up.

Presumably if you needed 7 years of orthodontic treatment plus surgery it wouldn't have been OK to just leave it and never have a brace though?

I am full of regret that my parents didn’t force me to just get the braces when I was young. We made a different decision that I’m paying for hugely now I’m old. So my advice is follow the dentists advice and get the braces done.

You live and learn, I've always assumed that was what caused the gap as it caused mine.

Did they do the braces without needing to remove the freenum? Having it removed wasn't fun, I looked like I'd been punched in the mouth and it was painful while the stitches were there but it was over and done with quite quickly.