DD (14) doesn't want braces

[TerrificEchidnaSpikes]

Several years ago at a routine checkup, our regular NHS dentist observed that DD might be developing a slight overbite and referred her for orthodontic assessment. We've had plenty of subsequent dental checkups and nothing more was said about this possible overbite. Recently (I'd practically forgotten about it) we suddenly got a phone call from orthodontist clinic saying we had finally reached the top of the waiting list, offering us an appointment.

At the appointment it didn't feel much like an assessment but more like "this will be happening" IYSWIM. We were told that there would be several appointments even before the braces are fitted (records, extractions, etc) and then regular appointments for the next 2 years. I had braces myself as a teen so I wasn't surprised, just nodded along and made notes.

But after we came out of the clinic, DD said that she doesn't want the braces. She says she is perfectly happy with her teeth and doesn't think she has a significant overbite (I argued the point that she's not the dentist, which she conceded). But her main objection is that she's now into GCSE years and doesn't want to miss so many lessons - apparently all her friends who have/had braces had them in lower years. She is absolutely adamant.

For context, the orthodontic clinic is not near school and would require huge chunks of travel time/disruption (no direct public transport links, would always require one of us to drive her). I did suggest we could mitigate it a bit by choosing very early or late appointments and trying to grab holiday appointments where possible.

DH and I are torn. On the one hand, clearly essential healthcare is the most important thing. On the other hand, how can we be sure that this is essential healthcare, and thus whether it overrides GCSE education? And finally, neither of us would want to make DD have this treatment unless it really is essential.

It wasn't me it was one of my children. Two of them had the same issue, one had treatment one didn't. They both seem fine as adults.

Also find out the real reason she's refusing

DD insists that she is not concerned about the look of the braces. I am minded to believe her because she's completely unconcerned about looks/fashion and very comfortable in her own skin, always has been. Academically she's the opposite, very driven and keen on achieving the best she can. And as I said in the OP, the location of school and clinic and transport options basically mean that she can't just nip out at lunch break for appointments - we would have to wangle appointments for early morning or late evening. So I pretty much do believe her given reasons.

(But I would still prefer it if she willingly got the braces...)

Yes they didn't do any of that to me and it wasn't offered/ discussed at all so it wasn't the cause of mine. I guess everyone's different and there are multiple possible causes for all of these things.

DD was the same. I said it's a medical treatment and she has no choice. I showed her how much it costs to pay for as an adult and the consequences of an untreated over bite. The threshold for braces on the NHS is high and your DD wouldn't have them offered if she didn't absolutely need them.
DD is glad she had them now, although is crap with her retainer and loses it often which costs me £££. I've told her if she loses it again she's paying which has worked so far.

If that's the case then she just needs some reassurance about missing lessons. She sounds quite anxious - it's not going to be as big of a deal as she thinks it is.

I would still try to reassure her about it all though - I wouldn't be surprised if she's worried about either the way they look, the potential pain, or both. I certainly was as a teen but I would never have admitted either to my parents.

At the end of the day you can't make her have them, and she does need to be committed to aftercare if she does. But I think it will be much worse (and more expensive) for her to have them as an adult. Braces in teens are kind of expected - in your 20's/30's it's a pain.

I would have a good long talk with her to really see this from all angles and not just what she wants right now. She just needs to understand everything before making a decision.

Dental nurse here! At the moment it's great it's being funded by the nhs, they're so strapped for cash that the guidelines for what is accepted now is so much tighter so there must be a high clinical need. I took forever to lose my baby teeth so didn't get braces until 16/17 and I sobbed for days, didn't want them at all. As soon as I'd got used to them I kind of forgot about it and looking back it's the best thing I did. She'll be seen roughly every 6 weeks for approximately 10-15mins to tighten them. Paracetamol beforehand can always help as when they are tightened it will feel sore for a few days, the wires can dig in too so you'll be given wax to put on the end so it's more comfortable. I know you can't force her but it's a lot quicker having braces younger when their and a lot cheaper. If you don't take the appointment you'll be discharged which would mean a re-referral and as part of the guidelines including the waiting list treatment needs to be completed before the child is 18 so the chances are you'd be refused.

I had a brace to align my overbite, and to straighten my teeth. My teeth are still straight (they've moved slightly, but not noticeably), but my overbite is basically back to the start. Would hers get worse as she gets older? I can't say that mine bothers me - I used to have TMD, but that was when I had the braces, and it's receded apparently as my jaw has moved back to its old alignment. The only thing I do wish is that I looked less weak chinned in profile - but I'm not bothered enough to do anything about it!

Yes, I suppose we are informed by our own experiences. I wasn't sorry to lose my freenum, it was big and if I smiled it was sort of hanging down between my teeth, it bothered me much more than the gap which didn't really bother me at all. It was also painful to brush my teeth and if I did properly I would often make the freenum bleed.

This is all very helpful (both sides!), thank you all.

It will affect how she bites as well as how she feels about herself.

I would say get the treatment free while you can. If she decides as an adult it could cost thousands.

Overbite has to be fairly significant to allow for NHS treatment.
DC had crooked teeth but not crooked enough for NHS, however, the overbite took him over the threshold so he got it all done. Total 18 months, including a functional brace. He looks wonderful now.
He was dying to miss school for appointments but we were lucky enough to arrange all late afternoon and holidays.
I'd be concerned an overbite could need jaw surgery when older not just cosmetic, so I would think very seriously before turning down NHS work.

Much better to get them done at 14 and be rid by 16, than start at 16 when everyone else has already had them off. They’re difficult to get used to for the first couple of weeks, but are fine after that. And EVERYONE seems to have them in year 9-10!!

I've never heard of any child falling behind because of orthodontist appointments for braces. I had braces for a couple of years and it didn't make any odds to my education, that included lots of teeth being extracted, retainers, bands etc.

Honestly there's so many adults out there paying thousands for braces at the moment, I'd be strongly encouraging her to have them. I think she'll be glad of it in years to come.

It is definitely a lot of time off school for my dc and there is not a lot of flexibility in the appointments. Maybe she has been unlucky but there was the teeth extractions, brace fittings, then the brace broke and there were two appointments for that then next week it’s more fittings. I remember having a lot of time off school for the orthodontist myself when I was a kid!

I have a slight overbite that I chose not to have corrected. I was a bit older when I finally got to orthodontics, and was looking at at least 4-5 years in heavy duty braces, possible surgery and then the retainer. I was not willing to commit to it. It's a big commitment and would have affected my ability to travel and work abroad. Very different to my siblings who both had straightforward braces for a couple of years. I haven't regretted it so far.

NHS threshold for treatment is very high. If it’s being offered is a clinical need. In my family she’d be getting them.

All those saying they would force the child to have them, how are you going to force then to wear a retainer for the rest of their lives? You understand everything will simply revert to the original position if they stop at any point?

If she’s qualified under the nhs then I would not hesitate as the criteria is very strict. It could be that she will have jaw problems in future if not corrected now. It’s definitely a pain in the next. Mu daughter’s orthodontist is over an hour from school but we make it work. Even though it’s nhs, they are actually really good at having appointments first thing or last thing. It’s annoying and we are already 2.5 years in with no end in sight, but had to be done.

They might think that the nice straight teeth are worth it. I know my DS did.
They might not of course, but they can make their own choices as an adult.

@StrictlyComeback that'll be their fault and Op won't have a moaning 28 year old saying mum I was 14 you should've forced me..

If it really is to do with missing school ( I imagine there's more) could you go private? My ds just missed out on the qualification criteria for NHS treatment so I am paying for it, the only consolation of this is that appointments are always after school.

My daughter needs braces, a twin block for a year then fixed braces after.
She really isn't keen on getting them and her orthodontist won't force her and won't take my wishes into account as its my Dd that will be wearing them and looking after them. If she eventually says no, then there's nothing I can do

How do you even force a 14 year old to have them? Will the orthodontist be happy doing it? I know the orthodontist my child saw was very strict about children dealing with the hygiene side of things and I've heard them threatening to remove the brace and stop treatment if child wouldn't comply. I've even seen a parent in tears because they had to admit they couldn't get the child to comply.

I have no intention of forcing DD! We'll have a family discussion. That's why I wanted to canvass opinions for and against. She's very sensible so I hope we can persuade her. But if she remains adamant not to have the braces, that is also something I'll have to accept.