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Original poster

To ignore BMI as an indicator of a child being overweight?

276 replies

HappyHolidays22 · 23/01/2023 20:33

My DD is 4, 5 in 2 months time. She’s tall for her age and looks older than she is because of this. (Just for context, her dad is 6 ft 5 and I am the shortest female in the family at 5 ft 6… so she doesn’t come from small stock!)

Today we had a letter from some NHS service to say that they have done some measurements in school (with our permission) and that she is overweight. Her height is just over 118cm and weight slightly over 26kg. According to the BMI calculator this puts her over then 90th percentile and therefore overweight…

but my problem is that she looks totally in proportion for her height! Never in a million years would I have thought to say she was overweight…

we eat healthily and encourage DD to eat a range of foods (with varying levels of success as I think is normal for a 4 year old).

my question is - AIBU to ignore this BMI calculator/info from the NHS if I believe my daughter is fine? Or should I be doing something to trim her weight down? (Of course, I’d never ever tell DD this as don’t want her to ever have a complex!)

OP posts:
Equimum · 31/01/2023 16:32

I get where you are coming from, and BMI isn't always helpful, but my 7 year old is 125cm and weighs less than that. Yes, they are a slimmer built child, but not tiny. I think you maybe do need to take notice and accept that you maybe need to think about diet or execrise.

Dacadactyl · 31/01/2023 17:05

Just read your update from the other day OP. Great stuff, I'm really pleased to hear it. You've handled this really well IMHO.

Original poster
HappyHolidays22 · 31/01/2023 20:26

Thank you :)

My anxiety has totally settled down now as I know we are on a better path. We’re walking to and from school every day, DD even enjoys arriving 10 mins early to school and playing with her friends before the doors open so that’s some exercise we hadn’t realised we were missing out on by driving each day. 🤗we tried swimming lessons for the first time this weekend just gone…

It’s a bit of trial and error with dinner at the moment though - I’m trying to introduce different protein and veggies during the week and sometimes it’s an absolute winner with her and other days (like today!) it’s not so much of a win. If she genuinely doesn’t like part of her dinner (usually she doesn’t like the protein!) and says she’s still hungry, I’m finding that difficult. So at the min I’m just making sure I do some extra veggies with the meal so that she can eat more of those if that is the case.

one thing that has come to light this evening, though, has been the ‘desserts’ that DD is being given as part of her school dinners… I always thought it was fruit or a plain biscuit or jelly… which I know aren’t ideal but in my mind this wasn’t too bad… but DD tonight told me about some ‘wonderful sweet lemon cake with icing’ that she had today!!! What?!? If she’s been having cake at school and desserts and supper at home, no wonder it’s all been adding up.

anyway… will keep you posted!!! I’m noticing an upturn in DDs energy levels walking to and from school already so that’s a big bonus in only a week!

OP posts:
doadeer · 31/01/2023 21:08

This has been such a lovely thread to read with the updates from op. I don't even know you but feel proud of what you've done. What a brilliant mum x

Original poster
HappyHolidays22 · 01/02/2023 00:18

@doadeer thats very kind of you, thank you!
This thread has been so helpful for me - both from a practical point of view with all the feedback and suggestions and also from a cathartic point of view! ❤

OP posts:
Ladybug14 · 01/02/2023 05:58

Wow. Superb news. You are - as I sad before - a superstar Mum xxx

WaddleAway · 01/02/2023 11:28

HappyHolidays22 · 31/01/2023 20:26

Thank you :)

My anxiety has totally settled down now as I know we are on a better path. We’re walking to and from school every day, DD even enjoys arriving 10 mins early to school and playing with her friends before the doors open so that’s some exercise we hadn’t realised we were missing out on by driving each day. 🤗we tried swimming lessons for the first time this weekend just gone…

It’s a bit of trial and error with dinner at the moment though - I’m trying to introduce different protein and veggies during the week and sometimes it’s an absolute winner with her and other days (like today!) it’s not so much of a win. If she genuinely doesn’t like part of her dinner (usually she doesn’t like the protein!) and says she’s still hungry, I’m finding that difficult. So at the min I’m just making sure I do some extra veggies with the meal so that she can eat more of those if that is the case.

one thing that has come to light this evening, though, has been the ‘desserts’ that DD is being given as part of her school dinners… I always thought it was fruit or a plain biscuit or jelly… which I know aren’t ideal but in my mind this wasn’t too bad… but DD tonight told me about some ‘wonderful sweet lemon cake with icing’ that she had today!!! What?!? If she’s been having cake at school and desserts and supper at home, no wonder it’s all been adding up.

anyway… will keep you posted!!! I’m noticing an upturn in DDs energy levels walking to and from school already so that’s a big bonus in only a week!

I wouldn’t worry hugely about the school desserts; in my experience they are very small portions and are low sugar. But you’re right that 2 desserts a day are probably a bit too much.
Mine don’t have school dinners any more, as I really begrudged paying £2.40 a day for things like 2 fish fingers and 5 chips, and I can make a far more nutritious lunch for far less money at home and send it in a flask.

Thatshipsailed · 01/02/2023 12:04

School puddings are ‘healthy’ and often the only part my daughter eats as she says it’s all gross

Thatshipsailed · 01/02/2023 12:04

And well done on the positive changes!

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/02/2023 14:53

Sounds good! I think the school desserts are low in delicious things and not 'bad' per se. However it's a really weird thing, giving children dessert with every meal. I've never understood it.

You work on your part and you'll change her habits anyway.

Original poster
HappyHolidays22 · 04/02/2023 10:40

Just a quick update … I’m shocked by how quickly (some) of the new habits are taking hold in our house! DD enjoys walking to school so much, she wanted to go for a walk this morning too (which was perfect as I needed to get DS to sleep!) so we walked to the park..

Anyway… just had her on the scales (I regularly weight myself and DD always loves to step on as well to see how ‘strong’ she is)… and she is already down to 25.3kg!!!!! Woweeee. I know that still puts her in the overweight category but I am so chuffed for her that it’s coming down without her even noticing anything is going on :)

Our weekends also have an extra purpose now as we try to plan at least one active thing a day (sadly no swimming today as DD picked up conjunctivitis from the pool last week, as did DH 😅)

hope you’re all having a lovely weekend xxx

OP posts:
AdventFridgeOfShame · 04/02/2023 11:07

Fantastic, keep going.
Good luck with the conjunctivitis, all that extra washing of towels and pillow cases used to make me want to cry.

Original poster
HappyHolidays22 · 04/02/2023 11:09

@AdventFridgeOfShame hahaha this is my life this week too! I am sick of saying ‘stop touching your eyes!’, ‘wash your hands please’ and ‘don’t put your head too close to your brother’ 😂

OP posts:
Fleabigg · 04/02/2023 11:09

Great update! I need to take some of these things on board myself, my DD is not overweight but we have fallen into the habit of dessert and snacks and generally too much sugar. It’s heartening to read how quickly some of the good habits are taking hold too.

Ladybug14 · 07/02/2023 05:12

Wow. Just wow. What a fabulous update, OP xxx

Original poster
HappyHolidays22 · 11/02/2023 08:16

Morning lovely MN! I can’t believe it… DD is now 24.5kg / 3st 12 and now at the 89th percentile! Woweee. Absolutely shocking how a few bad habits and reduced exercise can create that extra with of weight! But amazing that it can so easily be reversed at this stage. We still have some way to go, we need to be ‘in the green more comfortably’ but I see a noticeable difference in DD now, in her clothes too!

happy weekend everyone xxx

OP posts:
WoeBeCome · 11/02/2023 08:26

That’s brilliant!

Ladybug14 · 11/02/2023 08:32

I'm getting boring with this phrase, but I'll say it again..... Superstar Mum xxxFlowers

Violinist64 · 11/02/2023 15:38

Wow, well done.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 15/02/2023 18:17

I love that your helping by making changes x your updates make me smile

CheeseDreamsTonight · 15/02/2023 22:18

Fabulous updates 🥰

ThatFlightyTemptressAdventure · 24/02/2023 18:16

Lovely updates. I need to eat better and exercise myself and I feel inspired by your enthusiasm. I hope it’s still going well. Brilliant 🤩

Original poster
HappyHolidays22 · 24/02/2023 19:06

@ThatFlightyTemptressAdventure - ah thank you :) I must admit the changes we have made have been great for us all… but they are much easier to stick to when I know it’s mainly for my DD… can’t say I would’ve necessarily stuck so rigidly to the walking to school every day if it was just for my own benefit! 😅

in terms of progress… we’re still doing well! DD is now at the 83rd percentile! She’s maintained the weight at 3st 12 but she’s had a bit of a growth spurt this last two weeks so she’s at least 120cm now (I think she might be a tad taller but I thought it best to under estimate) :)

Admittedly, this week we haven’t been the best with being active or eating as well as we have been doing the last month! Norovirus hit us hard as has a good old water infection (DD) and throat infection (DS)! Sooooo this week has been a bit of a write off but it happens I guess! … hoping tomorrow is a turning point and we can get some fresh air!

lots of love to everyone and happy weekend eve! Xxx

OP posts:
Violinist64 · 24/02/2023 19:41

It’s lovely to read your updates. You and your daughter are doing so well. I hope everyone is soon feeling better.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/02/2023 20:08

Happy to hear things are going to the right direction.

Sorry about all the sickness!