To ignore BMI as an indicator of a child being overweight?

[HappyHolidays22]

My DD is 4, 5 in 2 months time. She’s tall for her age and looks older than she is because of this. (Just for context, her dad is 6 ft 5 and I am the shortest female in the family at 5 ft 6… so she doesn’t come from small stock!)

Today we had a letter from some NHS service to say that they have done some measurements in school (with our permission) and that she is overweight. Her height is just over 118cm and weight slightly over 26kg. According to the BMI calculator this puts her over then 90th percentile and therefore overweight…

but my problem is that she looks totally in proportion for her height! Never in a million years would I have thought to say she was overweight…

we eat healthily and encourage DD to eat a range of foods (with varying levels of success as I think is normal for a 4 year old).

my question is - AIBU to ignore this BMI calculator/info from the NHS if I believe my daughter is fine? Or should I be doing something to trim her weight down? (Of course, I’d never ever tell DD this as don’t want her to ever have a complex!)

It sounds like you’ve had a tough week but hopefully the worst is over. Great progress overall though and wonderful to hear that your DD seems to be enjoying it all so much. I hope you are all back enjoying the fresh air 😀

Hi @HappyHolidays22. I hope you don't mind me jumping on your post but I'm in the same position as you with my DD but a couple of weeks behind! In fact I posted a very similar thread to this a couple of weeks ago.

My DD is 4 and in Reception. She took part in the height/weight measurement programme and is on the 91st centile. She's my youngest of three big babies and was nearly 10lb at birth so has actually slipped from the 98th centile. My husband is 6ft 3 and I'm 5ft 10 so 'big' is in the family! My older two are 14 and 10 and are tall but very slim. In fact, my other DD is in year 6 and also had to do the height/weight thing and is verging on slightly underweight, so we're trying to implement healthy changes for the whole family to help my youngest without knocking my 10yo further into underweight territory!

Anyway, good to see your changes are having such a positive effect already. Some of the changes we've made are cutting right down on her love of fruit juice, making healthier after-school snacks and cutting out weekday puddings apart from fruit. We've also switched her normal full fat and wonderfully creamy oat milk to a lower fat version. She hasn't really complained aside from sometimes asking for chocolate! She's also walking more and we're trying to fit in a couple more trips to the park during the week and weekend for a run around. It's early days but I would say her tummy isn't looking quite as prominent as it was, so that's good. But we're aiming to slow her weight gain so she grows into it rather than lose weight. We'll see how it goes 🤞

Hi @CoffeeChocolateWine - sounds like we have exactly the same situation and I’ve since spoken with a few other friends and they are going through the same thing too. Hope everything is going well for you?

I’m quite certain being aware of it is more than 50% of the battle. For us, at first DD probably didn’t realise what had hit her with all the sudden (albeit small) changes! Now that I’ve calmed down about it (and I can see things are now in a better place), it’s become about me (and the DH) recognising when we are balancing the healthy options/treats/exercise properly and when things are getting a bit out of whack.

I suspect DD has lost a little bit more of her belly too this last week or so, hoping to manage to get her on the scales again tomorrow to see ‘how strong she is’ just to see 🥰❤️…

unfortunately we now have other challenges with DD… for some reason a proper sassy attitude has developed this last couple of weeks too! Oh my life it’s challenging! Xxx

Things are going ok I think. She's definitely complaining less about walking more and me refusing to pull her along on her scooter! And I've also noticed her actively asking for fruit as a snack more when it was generally always chocolate or crisps before 😂 All positive steps!

I must admit, I still look at her and don't see her as an overweight child, and if she is it's only very marginally, but we were already well aware that her diet wasn't great so addressing that has been good. It wasn't that we weren't offering her a good diet, because I do make 90% of meals from scratch and aim for good healthy stuff, but she just wasn't eating it and we weren't tough enough on pushing her to eat her veggies. So for instance, I'd serve up a casserole with mash and she'd eat the mash and nothing else. I'd make pasta with a nice sauce and she'd pick out the pasta and leave the rest. I'd give her fish, chips and peas and she'd eat the chips and nothing else. And then I'd give her pudding because my older two were having it and I didn't have the heart to exclude her (third child versus first child syndrome 😂) So her 'meal' would end up being chips and ice cream 🤦‍♀️

Anyway, that has definitely been addressed and she is trying more things now so that's a bonus. I have told myself that I want it to be about her growing into her weight rather than weight loss, but she was messing around with our bathroom scales this morning and I snuck a look. I found myself feeling very slightly disappointed that she hadn't lost a bit given our changes, but she hasn't gained any either and as I said, I do think her tum has shrunk a bit so that's positive. Maybe she's grown in height a bit!

@CoffeeChocolateWine that sounds so familiar! ❤️

I just wanted to pop back with a progress update.

We've been sticking with our very small changes with DD (4) and things have been going fine. About six weeks in...main changes have been more walking and scooting, less sugary drinks and healthier after-school snacks and keeping puddings (aside from fruit) to weekends. No major complaints.

She was having another little mess around with the bathroom scales a couple of days ago and I noticed her weight hadn't moved at all. No problem, I thought, as I've noticed other benefits from our changes and our aim is not for her to lose weight, just to grow into it.

Anyway, this morning my other DD (10) wanted to see how tall she was and how close she is to outgrowing our height chart so I measured her. And then little DD wanted to be measured too. She's grown 4cm since her height/weight check in January! So no weight change but grown 4cm in height! So she's gone from 91st centile to 83rd and comfortably into the healthy weight range! Still at the the top end but definitely in a better place 😊

Congratulations to both of you.

Sounds brilliant. You must be so pleased

Hi @HappyHolidays22 I wondered if you will see this if you could let us know how you’re getting on? I’ve found this thread really helpful as I’ve realised my ‘sturdy’ four year old daughter is actually on course to be overweight in her reception checks next year and we’re taking firm action now to address it. I’m really hoping I can make a notable difference in the three months before she starts school. From how you got on in the first few weeks I’m thinking that’s not too unrealistic…?

Hi @SunnyFrost ! I’ve been meaning to pop back to the thread for ages to update but the NHS bmi calculator has been down for months so I could never do a proper update… until now :) I just noticed it’s back up and running again.

So DD is now at the 66th percentile! She’s 5yo, 122cm and 3st 11.

I notice she looks soooo much better! She is still super tall - obviously lol - but she has lost the roundness and sturdiness from her face, belly and legs.

i must admit, in the first few weeks after receiving that NHS note, I went OTT. DD did lose some weight quite quickly but I was bordering on obsessing about everything she ate and I noticed a huge drop in her mood and behaviour too! So we had to find a balance. It helped that the BMI calculator was out of action tbh!

So … the approach we now take is…

• we walk to and from school every day
• she attends an after school drama club… which is basically kids running round burning energy!
• we make sure that on Saturdays and Sundays we do something that gets us out of the house, even if just for 1 hour.
• no evening desserts unless it is Friday or saturday!
• snacks are something healthy - unless it is Saturday and then we might do ice cream or a chocolate bar or something.

I also started to give DD an iron supplement (Floradix) earlier this year too and I notice her energy level is so much higher when she has this… so she now literally doesn’t stop moving, playing … effectively burning calories.

I do still think that kids go through phases of plumping up a little and then growing tall…. But I do now value the awareness and the kick the NHS note (and this thread) gave me to make some simple changes.

I hope you find it as satisfying and simple to do too xxxx

@HappyHolidays22 I'm so pleased for you and your daughter that you took action. Well done and good luck to anyone else who is on this journey with their kids too.

Many congratulations. You and your daughter are an amazing example of exactly why the NHS letter is so important and what can be achieved by simple changes. Most of us need a nudge in the right direction from time to time for all sorts of different reasons. By doing this at such a young age, you have been able to reverse any potential damage and set your little girl up for a healthy, happy future. She will now be tall and slim - the perfect weight for her height. Well done.

Thank you so much for the update @HappyHolidays22 - that’s brilliant, well done. I’m really hopeful we can achieve similar in the next few months. We’re two weeks in to our plan of closely monitoring portions, reducing snacks and increasing activity (all without her knowing of course) and I’m really pleased with the changes we’ve made without much effort being needed. I just hope they show some results and we can get her in a better place by the time she starts school.

Ahhh @Dacadactyl @Violinist64 thank you very much :) this thread was really really helpful for me too; the support here is just lovely :)

@SunnyFrost thank you too :) I am really sure you will be just as successful with the changes you are making!!! It’s so easy to fall into bad habits but the small changes really do add up and take effect quickly! Good luck with everything :)

Hi all, so lovely to read your update @HappyHolidays22! You must be so proud of your DD and yourself. I bet she is feeling so much better for it as well.

I first posted on this thread at the end of Feb in a very similar position - my DD was 4, in reception and 91st centile. I can also report some very positive news following a few small healthy changes...she is now on the 74th centile and well into the healthy weight zone. She is 5 now, 116cm and 3 stone 7lb. She hasn't lost or gained any weight since being measured in January but has shot up by 6cm.

The changes we've made started very small but over the course of a few months have built up and really helped. Main ones have been limiting sugary/fatty drinks - she has a small orange juice in the morning and full-fat oat milk at bedtime - water, occasional weak squash or semi-skimmed at other times. Weekday puddings are fruit, yoghurt or a small fresh fruit ice lolly in the hot weather; we have something more indulgent at the weekend. Healthier low-sugar after-school snacks . She's more active - walks or scoots to school (no pulling along!), she's learnt to ride her bike with no stabilisers and goes for a ride every weekend, we go to the park for a run around most days - she can now hold her weight on the monkey bars which she was never able to before! And we've got our big pool up in the garden for the summer how so does lots of swimming too.

Good luck @SunnyFrost. Just to echo what has already been said, but consistent small changes make a big difference with young children. And if they are small changes they will barely notice them being made, even better if they're fun changes like going to the park more often!

i know I should probably leave this thread be now but I always think of it every time DD gets on the scales!

DD has had a really nasty stomach bug this week and had hardly eaten a thing for 7 days (without it coming back up again). She’s better now - thank goodness - but noticeably thinner! She hopped on the scales this morning and she is only 3stone 7! Which puts her now in the 34th percentile.

it shows the importance of maintaining a healthy spot somewhere in the middle really as if she had started out at this weight and then got the stomach bug, we would be bordering on being underweight … which would then be the opposite problem to what I had when starting out this thread!

hope everyone is doing well and those of you on the same journey have seen the progress you were hoping for xx

Well done.

During an illness, when they don’t eat much, it is normal to see a drop on the scales but that will be quickly corrected on the next weeks. Keep the good habits , a healthy diet made of fresh food, a love for moving and being outdoor. You have done such a great job at making these changes! Well done. Your DD will be healthier and happier because of this!

@Xmasbuffet - hope you’re ok! Didn’t get too much chance to read your message before you withdrew it. I would just say make little changes slowly and make sure they are sustainable. My DD has put some weight back on again since her illness at my last update… so I think she’s back up at the 60-70 percentile now.

the biggest change we made was walking to school every day and cutting out ‘desserts’ after dinner…. Unless it was a piece of fruit.

How is your DD now?

Hi! She’s currently at the 80th percentile after a summer of fewer sports and holiday eating! Back to reality this week :)

I’ve come to appreciate that she is much taller than her friends (135cm at 6 - April birthday) so is always likely to seem ‘more robust’ but I am now diligent in making sure that we course correct when I see things falling to the side like they have done over these holidays. :)

Well done. You are a very good mother.