Should I get vaccines done without his knowledge?

[Anon778833]

My dd was born just before lockdown. Her dad is an anti vaxxer in the extreme sense. He thinks that vaccines are designed to reduce the world population 🙄

I think dd should have her vaccinations. She's now 20 months old. We don't live together so I could get it done without him knowing.

My questions are;

How to avoid lumps at the site of the injection? If he see this when she's with him there is a chance he wouldn't bring her home to me after contact.

Will the GP do them this late?

If you're going to make nasty comments about why I've allowed him to do this then please scroll on by... I'm autistic, easily manipulated and he is a very controlling person. He phoned up Sky and got them to uninstall our Sky Q because he says it causes brain cancer and it's now going to cost me £100 to get it back.

OP, you need proper legal advice. You need a Child Arrangement Order with a requirement for your DD to be returned to you after contact (ideally with a power of arrest attached).

There is no way you will be able to co- parent with someone with such extreme views without court intervention because he is not reasonable. There will be numerous issues and it's better to accept that now and start working with the system.

Have you tried calling "Rights of Women" for advice? Please do try and get through to them.

[quote AnnaSW1]@ScrumptiousBears it is if you live in London [/quote]
I'm not London but my DP is in the minority category so they offered it to us on both occasions.

Once she's vaccinated, he can't suck it back out of her can he? He sounds like a dick. Get her vaccinated, it's so so important!

There is no way you will be able to co- parent with someone with such extreme views without court intervention because he is not reasonable. There will be numerous issues and it's better to accept that now and start working with the system.

I know. It's all so draining 😩

We are in the midlands.

Depends what gp you’re at abs if it’s the same one as your ex. however here it’s the child immunisation team who arrange and send out vaccine appointments then the nurse who administers them, it’s charged in med notes they’ve been done so gp can look up but the gp don’t schedule or administer so likely even if they did know (& aware of dads thoughts) it would be after they’d been done. I took all 4 of mine for all vaccs I gave consent/signed to say I was happy for them to have them. Never been asked if their dad consented. Same in hospital I consented for surgery etc for my children. I made the decisions about treatment courses with drs etc. I’d go ahead. Monitor infection sites but you’re keeping your baby safe and if that’s important to you you should stick by it I don’t think anyone could go against you re that.

Thank you for all your responses and also the case law references. For once, there didn’t seem to be someone saying this is my fault.

Anyway, I’ll have to give it some thought.

@369mumma

To be honest, just no hun, that's hugely disrespectful, he'll be furious, and quite rightly. It also means he can do the same to you in the future, ie not respect your wishes when it comes to the child you share. You have to trust each other on some level to have a chance of parenting well. Imagine how you will feel if he goes behind your back and acts against your wishes with regards to your child and something you felt strongly about. My advice would be to be open and honest. Speak to the GP, explain the issue, ask their advice. You will have to parent together for a very long time, try and keep the respect for each other's rights, it will benefit your child in the long run.

ignore this utter pile of crap

Dd4 had her first vaccines yesterday. The nurse said that she will always do vaccines if the parent with care wants them. DD's dad and I have never lived together.

Well done op. You are absolutely doing what is best for your child. I know it can’t have been easy. You did good

Thanks @HighDudgeonAtBerks :)

Good work op.