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Children's health

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13 year olds being given the morning after pill by walk in clinics

117 replies

newtoallofthis8 · 28/10/2016 08:03

I am a new stepmum (of 4 years stepping into the breach of a family who has an alcoholic mother) and my OH and I were shocked to learn that our 13yr old had had a teenage pregnancy (early stages) and been given the morning after pill which discharged the foetus. As she is in the care of CAMHs, the local walk in centre contacted them to report this. Her counselor only deemed it necessary to contact us this week, 3 months after the incident and reported that D13 was now on the Child Sexual Exploitation register. We were horrified by the circumstances of how the pregnancy occurred and the distress that D13 had experienced in the subsequent months. D13 had been working with her counsellor who then felt it necessary to contact us. We had been dealing with some very painful issues since May when D13 attempted suicide. This recent disclosure made us realise that everyone else knew about what had happened to D13 but US! As parents we were left out of the loop and this week left to deal with the terrible fall out when we were told. We were robbed of the opportunity to support our daughter at the time she really needed it. It robbed us of the understanding of what was causing her many months of anguish, disrupted schooling, fights with her siblings, dysfunctional relationships with her friends to name a few of the challenges we have had to deal with since August (pregnancy which we didn't know about) and from May (suicide attempt which we handled at the time).

My question to Mumsnet is it immoral that current legislation allows children to obtain the morning after pill and the contraception pill without the parents being told? I know the government sees this as a quick fix for reducing teenage pregnancies, but by not informing parents it dis-empowers them of their role to support, educate and care for their children. In my mind. this is just wrong.

Anyone else feel the same? If so do could a petition to the UK government be started?

OP posts:
user1477427207 · 28/10/2016 12:10

I tell you what is odd and that is that a grown woman could have such a weak grasp of pregnancy/conception/MAP/morning sickness etc

BummyMummy77 · 28/10/2016 12:12

I may be wrong and I loathe troll hunters but I find it impossible to believe any grown woman thinks morning sickness begins immediately or that you can test pregnant after 7 days.

newtoallofthis8 · 28/10/2016 12:43

Thanks again for all your useful comments. I do have a gap in my knowledge of MAP which I will correct. D13 has been shown to lie barefaced to her dad when we have known the real truth on other occasions. Her counsellor has also found her own stories to be full of inconsistencies and has suggested she attention seeks. Given the useful information you have supplied in all your posts, I am inclined to think that some very big porkies have be stated by D13.

No you are right its not about me, if it was about me then I wouldn't reach out for tips, support and information to understand. Instead I would have walked away at the first sign of trouble. But along with their father I am committed to loving and supporting these children as much as we can. I too came from a home where alcohol was an issue and if anyone out there has the same experience you will know how difficult it is to unravel the effect it has on lives.

OP posts:
newtoallofthis8 · 28/10/2016 12:44

I must be really stupid - I don't know what a troll hunter is either!

OP posts:
newtoallofthis8 · 28/10/2016 12:46

Ok now found out what a troll hunter is.

OP posts:
Batteriesallgone · 28/10/2016 13:43

You didn't ask for advice you asked us to help you petition the government to take contraceptive control away from young people Hmm

Oh and give over with the martyr if it was about me I'd have walked away, it's so hard on MEEEEEE crap. Because that is still making it about you.

christinarossetti · 28/10/2016 14:54

The info that you've been given/assumed about your dsd's pregnancy doesn't make sense. Pregnancies are rarely confirmed 7 days post sex, and if a pregnancy had been confirmed she would not have been offered the MAP.

Where is her father in all this? Is her bio mother around still? Do you have any counselling/ therapy for yourself?

How are the children at the moment?

BertieBotts · 28/10/2016 15:34

Not troll hunting. But. (Excuse my conception geekery). Something doesn't add up here, and I think you need to question what you've been told.

A woman or girl can only become pregnant from sex which occurs in the 5-6 days before or one day after ovulation. Implantation occurs 6-12 days after ovulation.

Therefore 7 days after sex, a fertilised egg most likely wouldn't have even implanted, meaning that the woman is not even technically pregnant yet. If under a slight chance (sex would have had to happen right on or immediately after ovulation, plus a short implantation period) it had implanted, it would have only just happened, ie, that day or the day before. HCG begins rising/doubling after implantation, and the levels are low enough normally that it takes a few days before the doubling is even noticeably different to normal, nonpregnant HCG levels. You couldn't pick it up on a urine test. You might pick it up on a blood test, but there isn't a sexual health clinic in the land which has access to a lab which can process blood results immediately.

Morning sickness isn't a given and doesn't start until HCG levels reach a much higher threshold than would be possible just following implantation.

There is no morning after pill which works 7 days after sex. Since the UK procedure for emergency contraception involves questions about when sex occurred, it simply wouldn't have been offered at this time. Even insertion of an IUD doesn't prevent pregnancy 7 days later.

As others have pointed out, the morning after pill prevents pregnancy by delaying ovulation. There's no foetus (blastocyst, at that stage, but whatever) to be removed.

Even if a pregnancy ends at this stage, you wouldn't be aware of it. The blastocyst would be too small to see with the naked eye. It's literally a few cells. Most women pass clots occasionally which would be much bigger than any suspected miscarriage at this point.

As the potential pregnancy was so early on an abortion would not be possible.

However one point - if services suspect sexual abuse of a minor then unfortunately it's perfectly correct that they don't immediately inform parents. Because unfortunately statistically, it's likely that the parents are the ones perpetuating the abuse. It's right that there are protocols to rule this out before you're informed. This isn't anything to do with actual suspicion of you, but the sad fact that some parents do abuse their children.

WindPowerRanger · 28/10/2016 15:43

The ability to withhold information about sexual activity and contraception from parents is troubling, OP. However, it is the least worst option, for the many reasons that previous posters have given.

newtoallofthis8 · 29/10/2016 13:05

Update from this morning D13 asked me advice on the contraceptive pill she was prescribed. She says that she has been bleeding for weeks - I have checked out the brand and its one that has to be taken at the same time each night to be effective so she has experienced breakthrough bleeding. I am glad she confided in me and between us we have decided that she will stop taking it but if she needs to consider contraception independently knows she can go back to the clinic.

However given the precise timing of taking this brand, I am a bit surprised that the walk in clinic gave her this - kids are not known for being so fastidious on timings at the best of times and with something as important as birth control, I would have thought that just a regular pill would have been a better choice. But that is just my opinion..

OP posts:
newtoallofthis8 · 29/10/2016 13:07

HI Batteriesgone - just wondering - do you have teenage girls?

OP posts:
LoisEighty · 29/10/2016 13:14

I think you need to talk directly to her social worker, as the information she has given you about whether or not she was pregnant and whether or not she took a MAP seems to be incorrect or incomplete.

newtoallofthis8 · 29/10/2016 13:16

HiBertieBotts Thanks for your very helpful reply.
I have been working through the diary and found out the following. D13s last period stopped 2 days before sex with first boy and 9 days before sex with second boy. She was given a urine test at the clinic and was given MAP and the contraceptive pill. But working out the dates above, she would not have been pregnant. Her counselor now knows this so can let her know if she thinks it appropriate. Yes I think that there has been misinformation and confusion over biology! Its been an education for us all!
Thanks again

OP posts:
LyndaNotLinda · 29/10/2016 13:18

All contraceptive pills should be taken at the same time every day.

I find your level of ignorance quite astounding when you have two teenage girls living in your home Hmm

newtoallofthis8 · 29/10/2016 13:18

Yes I agree LoisEighty - something is not accurate. I am not able to find out via the clinic either as the information (rightly) is confidential. But her counsellor can as the clinic and CAMHs are in direct contact.

OP posts:
LyndaNotLinda · 29/10/2016 13:19

What diary?!

LoisEighty · 29/10/2016 13:20

Does she have a social worker? Where did you hear about the child sexual exploitation stuff from?

Maybe you and your step daughters all need to make an appointment at the sexual health clinic to learn a bit more about contraception and pregnancy.

AyeAmarok · 29/10/2016 13:25

OP, stop making this all about you.

You seem to be putting loaded statements into this to make it sound worse, why are you doing that? Can't you just support her?

Don't read her diary either.

StripeyMonkey1 · 29/10/2016 13:27

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job for your step daughter and family in difficult circumstances.

However, I absolutely think a 13 year old needs to be able to get the morning after pill confidentially. It would be an act of bravery at 13 to do this (yes, despite a potentially stupid mistake beforehand) and it would be wrong to put more obstacles in the way.

newtoallofthis8 · 29/10/2016 13:29

Hi Lydia and Lois

Firstly my own personal diary where the girls asked me to note down when they had their periods so they could remember and plan ahead for the next one so they didn't get caught short with pads etc.

Secondly D13 does have an NHS counsellor from (CAMHs - Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) who is currently advising us with her team whether this needs to be escalated on to the social services and or family counselling. We have a meeting on Monday.

OP posts:
WomanWithAltitude · 29/10/2016 13:31

Working through the diary? Her diary? She must be a very organised teen to document all that stuff...

None of this is credible, sorry. I cannot believe that an adult woman who must have been using contraception herself for many, many years wouldn't know how contraception, periods and pregnancy work.

AyeAmarok · 29/10/2016 13:32

That sounds like a very productive 10 minutes - working out the dates from the diary and speaking to her counsellor, and updating us...

Thisjustinno · 29/10/2016 13:34

Something is very off here.

WomanWithAltitude · 29/10/2016 13:35

The whole thing is off.

newtoallofthis8 · 29/10/2016 13:36

Hi Lois - a CSE (Child Sexual Exploitation) report is conducted by professionals to assess whether a child' is at risk of sexual exploitation. One was carried out by a Head teacher and the other by the clinic and both reported to the NHS CAMHS counselor.

StripeyMonkey - it was her sister who took her to the clinic and yes very brave of her to have had the idea to do so. She was thinking her sister had AIDS.
Their school does a good job of sex education but how much goes in and is understood is maybe not checked .

OP posts:
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