Intimate hygiene in girls

[cleanandfresh]

Yeah I know crap title and I apologise in advance for "twee" terms BUT I am genuinely a bit confused about cleaning my little girl's "bits" (and I am calling them bits for brevity's sake rather than getting into labia major and minoria etc...)

So my girl is nearly 3 and she has a bath before bedtime most nights (except Fridays). I know that soap is not a good thing for the intimate regions so I don't get her to soap there but do remind her to "swish her twinkle" (yeah shoot me!) along with swishing her tummy and legs etc.

I have noticed these past few days that she has white, creamy deposits in the folds and around the top of her clitoral hood and wondered whether I should be trying to wash these away. She's been ferreting around this area occasionally and has said "look it's creamy" but it doesn't seem to bother her. The other day she was pretending to be a baby and have her nappy changed so I took the opportunity to get some cotton wool and try to really clean in this area but she really didn't like me doing it and I must admit it didn't feel right.

I guess I worry about thrush but I don't think it is and then I worry about messing about where I should just leave well alone. But then I worry about being too coy and maybe I should be actively encouraging her to "clean" there a bit more. I know on Mumsnet there is a small sector that think any female scent or secretions should be disinfected away and I don't want to fall into that trap - but I do want to keep my daughter healthy and instill a healthy, positive attitude towards her genitalia. I always use the words beautiful and fresh in relation to her body as in my own childhood I was very much given a negative impression of that area of my body.

Mothers of girls please help me out here

Come on you lot, forget the scrap and vote too

Whoops, wrong thread, sorry.

Oh Jeez

For some reason just sat and read this thread, what a horrible fucking mess it descended into

Cleanandfresh, I know you don't need any more posters in your corner as the sane ones have already given you loads of support but just wanted to say, Right from your first post I understood you completely! After 3 ds's I'm clueless with dd and I got your language completely, I could see how you thought your post out and probably re-wrote it a million times, it's just what I do!

I hope you work out what's best for your dd

Wagner? Have we entered a parallel universe? I take it you don't mean the composer of "Parsifal"? So, who?

X factor!

far harder to know how to deal with any 'excess' discharge when they get to this sort of age. I remember the exact same scenario. When they are still in nappies and we change them you just use the baby wipe don't you, for a quick clean, which must somehow take away say any poo or white discharge.

Then they get older, and on occasion my dd had what you described, beucause she still had night time accidents, or couldn't be trusted to wipe properly when she insisted on doing it herself. A good bath ( nothing added) and a hose down with the shower after wards used to be sufficient, but i did have to very verey ocassionally wipe her with a non fragranced wipe.

hth

GoodDaysBadDays thanks - I DID re-write my post a million times before pressing post!

Thelibster it's very much a different Wagner - you really don't want to go there

Can I just say that Aitch Private Messaged me to say that she hoped I was alright and that she was sorry that I'd had such a reaction to my post BEFORE she knew it was somebody she knew. I thought she'd sussed me out and was messaging me to say "I know who you are!".

I wish I could re-edit this thread and remove all the bits relating to paedo-suspicions and troll hunting - I think there's some useful information in it.

And shiney - can I confirm that you are not one of my FB friends

Ah! Wrong thread then? Never watch it, so sorry to be dense.

(Err..Why did this thread attract 13 pages of posts?!)

I was brought up to wash thoroughly with water, we always had mugs specifically for the loo, or bidets and the handheld shower heads in the bath. It's an Eastern/Mediterranean thing perhaps, to use water? Important to dry thoroughly after, dabbing gently, with towel. Also only a gentle shower spray not a string jet of water, ifykwim.

GTG

cleanandfresh and here I was thinking, for a nano second, that it might just be worth a quick "look see"

I can't get over the insanity of "anyone real would go to see their GP or HV rather than ask Mumsnet".

What the fuck is Mumsnet for, then? Instant and varied opinions rather than waiting for a couple of days for a GP appointment.

AitchTwoOh's defence of the OP was admirable, even before she knew who she was.

And my mate Shineon's approach of "I have FB'ed who I think it is. If they don't respond, well ..." reminds me of the mediaeval approach to witches: if they drown, they're innocent, if they don't drown, let's burn them.

Perfectly encapsulates the nasty approach to the OP's legitimate questions, AND HER MANNER OF EXPRESSION.

FFS

cleanandfresh, so sorry that you have endured this ridiculous witch-hunt at the hands of some intellectually challenged haggards with nothing better to do with their time, just because you were asking a question that was delicate and slightly uncomfortable.

Your daughter is lucky to have a mother than wants to do the right thing by her and to spare her the embarassment of a visit to the doctor's unless absolutely necessary. I say this as a 34 year old who had some kind of infection 'down there' at a similar age and still cringe when I think of the examination. And no, before the brass eye band get on their high horses, I'm sure my doctor wasn't a pervert, it's just not very nice for a little girl by nature and the sort of thing you remember.

I have no idea why this thread has attracted such horrible responses. Really feel for the op I would feel shit if I was her and had been swooped on like this. It will put anyone off posting things they are embarrassed about in the future.

Mumsnet at it's worst.

My dd is 7. A few days ago, on a late night worm hunt, I noticed that she had very increased discharge & my first thought was to ask MN if this was normal, as a result of the worm I found, part of the start of puberty, etc. She is very clean & concious about her hygiene, as am I.

Why? Because a vast majority of us are mums & I value the sound advice you can usually get here. I am a mother, therefore was a girl once, but I have no idea what my discharge was like at 7, if it meant the onset of anything etc.

Don't think I'll bother now & this saddens me! My alternative is to pay $50 for a GP visit to allay my fears & possibly to be told it is normal! Am losing faith in many posters here.

Like some others I was uneasy about the original post so rather than 'troll hunt' I emailed MNHQ to find out if the OP was a regular. They reassured me so all good. However I am disgusted by the comments of some people on here. If you have suspicions ask MNHQ. The bullying behaviour on this thread has been despicable.

Am now going to hide this thread as have no desire to interact with those who will continue to justify their shitty actions.

Oh.Ok.

I am not a troll hunter- I think you've been my first attempt, OP. Now you've explained how you rewrote and rewrote your post I can see that that's the reason for it's unnatural style- which made me suspicious-that, combined with the time of night, first post and perhaps my disbelief that someone would write such a long and detailed OP about something very simple (from my pov, mind). I wasn't sure what to make of you tbh, but I truly didn't believe you to be genuine.

I'm sorry if I have caused you any distress. Knee-jerk reaction on my part.

Hope you'll manage ok with your dd- I think deposits are normal, but if left they might start smelling not very pleasantly or even cause irritation. I would go for a gentle soap/special gel and wash it yourself- that was another thing which confused me, because surely gentle wash with your hand or dd doing it is not in any way oppressive or labelling vulva as 'dirty'- just part of the body that needs to get cleaned same as ears or feet. IIRC my mum used to wash mine and then at few years old I took over.

Reading this thread, I found myself confused and believing the shouts of pervert and troll, just because those posters seemed so certain that the op was a troll.
I'm not very streetwise when it comes to this sort of thing so I could easily believe I was being 'naive' to actually think the op was entirely genuine.
Thank goodness for Aitch and the other posters with the voice of reason.

Hi all, we've had a few reports from this thread and felt the need to come on and let you all know that the OP is a regular name-changer. Mumsnet is all about making parents lives easier, please remember that and please do come to us direct with any concerns.

I've been utterly appalled by this, the shrieks of "Paedophile" and "Troll" and the grudging apologies from those baying for blood. Shame on the whole bloody lot of you.

Perhaps you should have a look again at MN policy on trolls - if you had refrained from commenting, the OP would have just received sane and normal advice (which would hardly have given a troll/paedophile anything to get off on). And if you had contacted MN with your suspicions instead of posting, you would have been reassured and could have given advice or ignored the thread.

Words fail me. I thought some of you would have had more bloody sense. It's the online version of the middle ages call to hang the witch.

I'm so glad MNHQ came on. I almost reported the thread after lurking and being and at the troll hunters. Some people should Hang Their Heads In Shame.

Just read the whole thread, sorry you had to put up with all that op. Sounded like a reasonable question to me, I actually found some good advice so some good did come of it. Cant believe people would say the things they did from reading the op? Find it a bit that would be some peoples immediate reaction tbh.

cleanandfresh I am delighted to see you vindicated but, as I indicated earlier, I join the ranks of posters who were appalled at the paedo-troll assertions. I also resent the fact that you felt you had to forgo your anonymity to prove your legitimacy to these people!

I am so pleased you asked this question, it has provided me with some really useful information -thank you.

Just checking back. I'm pleased that the consensus is that Mumsnet IS a place where you can ask these questions.

To be honest I was totally shocked at the level of "certainty" that some posters had that I was a troll/paedo - there was no shred of a doubt in their heads. I just hope to God that they hesitate before going after anyone else or just get in touch with Mumsnet like other posters did - this thread has proved that their supposed powers of "detection" and "instincts" are all wrong.

And then there were those that just thought that I was at best, a crap Mum, or worse, downright neglectful, because they were so sure of their own fantastic parenting skills. I found that really offensive and I hope they think twice before jumping in like that again.

I thank those that have come back and apologised. I'm sure there are some that won't as they might be too embarassed (I hope).

Some great advice on here though so not all bad

You have been very dignified about all this nonsense, OP :)