Partner said something upsetting

[MarketResearch90]

I’m 39, partner of a year is 46.
he has twins who are 5 and was with his ex around 2 years.
He was up for having a child with me and I thought if it happened it happened. I always thought I’d have them but have never been particularly maternal or longed to have them. Just saw it as a thing people did really. I’ve seen how my sister struggles with hers and don’t feel really it’s entirely for me

Partner hasn’t gone on about having children or anything at all as he has two of his own already so it shocked me when he said that women basically aren’t doing what nature intended by not having children, that animals procreate to keep life going and it’s a woman’s duty basically to do this. He found god a few years ago as it helped him overcome addiction issues and what he said maybe had religious connotations.
it made me feel really rubbish and inadequate compared to his ex who I compare myself to a lot since they share something me and him don’t.
this happened a few months back but I keep going over it in my head.

I think you have to throw this one back unfortunately, it sounds like he’s deeply into the Manosphere

First reply nails it

“Made me feel really rubbish and inadequate”

That is your exit cue right there.

Tell him there are plenty of people around the world knocking out six or seven children each so women like you don't have to.

Tell him to F* off. Women are under no obligation to have children, and many of us know that we have much better lives if we stay childfree.

I'd be throwing a copy of the Handmaids Tale at this one while I tell him to fuck off.

Oh god - run, run far away.

I'd throw him straight in the sea.

I like this approach!
"Sue Radford said she'd cover for me"

And break it off, obviously.

It sounds like if he’s recently got into Christianity he’s misguided. Is he getting his info online or via a church? Maybe he needs to talk to a sensible vicar or priest. Tell him to read 1 Corinthians 7: 1-41 it basically says that it’s better for men and women not to marry and stay single 😂

This. Dont bother OP. You deserve much better. It’s also worrying he was with his ex for such a short while and they have 5 yo twins. Red flag, red flag, red flag. 🚩

It's grossly misogynistic to allege women's only purpose is to be a walking womb and child factory.

I'd be chucking him down the stairs and out the door.

”Found god” but has no issue creating single mothers who he’s happy to leave holding the babies.

He’s not a good man.

FFS don’t get pregnant with this knuckle dragger. He’s been infected by alt right, conservative Christian, incel, trad wife, Reform, men’s rights rhetoric. There’s a lot of it about (another thread running on this very subject right now in fact).

Unless your future ambition is to live as a submissive, second-class baby maker to a man who’s crowned himself king, run as fast as you can.

So he was with a woman who “fulfilled her duty” by having his twins and his response to that was to dive into addiction and leave her?

Does he not think men have a duty to look after their children and the mother of them; isn’t that what God would want?

I love how these shitty men pick and choose the bits of a belief system they wish to follow and expect the women around them to also follow them, but absolve themselves of putting in the hard yards of being a parent or decent partner themselves. 🙄

He’s using the Bible to try and hide the fact he’s a misogynistic arsehole.

Yes! And I have children. But anyone who has ' found god' is not for me.

Bad bad logic. Yes it is natural for women and female animals to bear children. No they do not have any kind of duty to do so.

A knuckle-dragging mysogynist addict. Nice.

Why would you not bin him immediately?

They were both addicts, it got to the point they were going to lose the children through this.
the toxic relationship was the reason they split.

Oh dear. Bad luck OP. Better luck next time.

Your views don't align. Time to end this one.

What a delight he is. Bin him off immediately.

And this seemed attractive to you? And you contemplated having a child with a man who almost lost his existing children?

OP, forget having children, but I think you seriously need to question your own judgement on this relationship...

Oh FFS, this man is a dysfunctional, messed-up, misogynist prick. You need to bin him. Seriously.

Indeed.

Also, finding God hasn't made him any kinder or more charitable towards you has it?
Thou shalt not compare thy current partner unfavourablely to thy ex.

I think its his "duty" to stop lecturing you about your "duty" as a woman and to shut the hell up.

Bin.