I am so happy not having kids

[ForestGoblin]

Had an existential wobble but now I'm of an age where the window is closing I'm feeling real alignments with this life.

No life is perfect but I really feel it's a blessing to have had this choice. Thank GOD for living now, when we can really live as our authentic selves.

High five to everyone who is living the old Polonius lifestyle, whatever that looks like for them.

So do I. But we're not allowed the same courtesy.

I definitely think it though. Frequently.

I was just thinking that I am saving so much energy by only needing to put my washing machine on twice a week. One shower a day. Easy grocery bills, Council Tax discount, holidays outside of school holiday times. No school runs, childcare, Summer camps, extra curricular stuff, a small zippy car. Everything is just so easy to organise and relatively inexpensive for me since I don't have children.

That's one aspect of my contentment without children. The others are far too numerous to mention.

Another one here who is glad they didn't have kids. I had a moment in my 20's. It it passed pretty quickly and now I'm late 40's I have a great life. A quiet life full of books and music. I have a gorgeous partner who actually does have kids, but they are grown up and so we only see them occasionally as they live elsewhere.

I wfh in a good, well paid job that offers a lot of flexibility for everyone and in a team where people are more likely to have dogs than kids. I don't mind admitting that I'd rather see a dog in a teams call than a child. Shoot me.

I don't lead a glamorous or expensive lifestyle. I certainly don't have the energy for partying every night and I tolerate being in the presence of children as long as they stay away from me (which they tend to do as I have a resting bitch face according to my partner).

I do get sick of the cliches about women like me, but as I get older I'm further and further removed from a child centric world and I prefer that anyway.

I also hated being a child and I remember not liking children when I was one. Even then I found then irritating and loud. I much preferred my own company.

As a child, I preferred either my own company or that of adults to that of other children.

I hear you. Pity though that you were spoken to like that being supporting the very essence of the thread. I agree with you anyway ha ha. I am actually reading about those with childfree lives here and thinking how wonderful that must be!

Not a topic I follow, it's trending so I clicked on and had a read, hope you don't mind me commenting.
I'm so pleased that women can have places to discuss the joys of being child free.

For context I'm soon to be a mum of 4 and love it so many friends of mine will ask "are they missing out?" And I always say, if you don't feel you are, I guess not, but I always suggest talking to women (even anonymously online) who really don't enjoy parenthood as well as asking those who do.

I also acknowledge my DP does easily 50%, unless you've got that kind of support, it's a rocky ride. I learnt that with my DXH, no hard feelings to him but as useful as tits on a fish when it came to parenthood or domestic stuff.

I've friends who have no desire to become parents, they enjoy peace and value their time and freedom but have pushy parents/inlaws/neighbours who they're they're owed a baby from them and it's bollocks.
I'm glad more women are saying, "we don't want to be mothers. We want to do what makes us happy".

So many adults these days, self included, have needed therapy for many years or antidepressants to recover from being raised by people who shouldn't have had children and often felt obligated to and almost resented their kids.

I appreciate on here when older mums say, "love them, but time given again I'd not do it", because its those people who need to be listened too, not dickheads like me who ends up being the tool at a kids party all the kids want to hang out with. (I must have Mr tumble energy 😂) because mums like me often haven't had careers or are well travelled etc, just because I'm more than content with what I chose, I can't see my more ambitious friends enjoying my very simple life.

I do think women are expected to justify their choices somewhat.
I find myself doing it on here alot, explaining why I wanted a large family even though it's sweet FA for me to justify.

I do love women have this choice, may your lie ins, days of good nails and well rested faces fare you all well.

Can you two just get a room?

It's great that you've accomplished your dreams while bringing up children. But your goals in life might differ significantly from people who don't want kids. For example, I've never taken a holiday that would be suitable for children, since that isn't my preference. Different preferences and priorities shape our choices in life.

@Lwrenagain while your life sounds like a nightmare to me, I'm glad that you are happy and content and that you are a good mum to your children.

As someone who has been cast aside too many times when "friends" have had children and then patronised and pitied, treated like a child myself by family and even expected to sit on the children's table at a family meal so the proper adults could talk (I was 30. I walked out and cut all contact with that side). I think that the more women with and without children talk to each other, the better it will be for our generations and the ones to come.

After all, none of the parents on here can guarantee that their own children will want, or can have, children themselves.

Nah, will always call rude people out, especially when they are rude for no reason. carry on.

Great post.

I will and have said..given my time again I would have made very different decisions and I know some of my friends would be absolutely HORRIFIED to hear me say that but it is the truth.

'I dont like children never have never wanted any their just to messy and needy
spoiled and parents that think they dont do wrong when they are being brats.'

That definately applies to some and it isn't pleasant to watch. Does it apply to all? No. If you think yours would have turned out that way I can see why that would have put you off though.

*'MrsDanversGlidesAgain · Today 14:23
User1234567891011121314 · Today 14:16

@Bandyarsia there's probably no point replying to her now as she's finding it somewhat of a power trip to be nasty and bring people down. I was clearly respecting the OP and I've never written on child free boards or parenting lol I'm a lurker with the odd opinion but it does seem like she is very highly strung/wants to have power over a simple board. Makes me want to not actually reply to threads which is sad but I won't let her get to me!
Can you two just get a room?'*

The room isn't big enough, too many nasty individuals in it.

🎖

Careful how you pin it on, wouldn't want to puncture that self-regard.

The fact that you have been infantalised for making adult decisions knocks me sick. Some people really are bloody awful. And I'll throw one word into the ring for you - jealousy.

Some people are jealous when a woman knows and owns her own mind.

I'm sorry that's happened to you, it's just shit 💐

I think friendships can be difficult to navigate when you dont have things in common with each other any more, I know lots of my old friends came back once they became parents, seeking support of another mum friend, but after years of not being invited places etc, it's been hard to slot back in.

My life on paper is honestly probably the most boring, mundane life for millions and I really can't explain enough to friends who do travel or love a sleep in, going for those little spontaneous adventures of much they do change with kids. I'm not saying I'm bored or miserable but I am saying I love hearing other people's stories, the holiday snaps, the fancy restaurants etc!

Seems crazy in 2023 that women even should have to explain "look I just don't want unnecessary responsibility for 18 years for something I'm not sure I want" and it's controversial.
Madness!

Seems crazy in 2023 that women even should have to explain "look I just don't want unnecessary responsibility for 18 years for something I'm not sure I want" and it's controversial

Honestly it goes on WAY past 18 years...

No woman should EVER have to explain, be judged, answer a question or BE questioned on her decision not to have kids. It infuriates me.

Yes, it's bizarre to me that the default belief is that women should want and have kids. When you think what a huge, long-lasting commitment children are, it feels to me like it should, if anything, be the opposite. I want people to think very carefully about why they do want children, about what it entails, about how they'll cope if circumstances change, if their child is disabled/very ill, whether they've chosen a decent father who will step up, etc.. Some people seem to go into it in a 'that's just what you do' way and I don't think it leads to contentment for them or the children.

What about men who are, and wish to remain child free? Is is only women who have societal pressure to procreate?

What about them? They're welcome to post here.