Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

[derekdied]

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

The best thing you can do for the environment is not have children.

The latest one on a social housing thread. Apparently its ok for someone to be kicked out of their SH home after caring for their elderly parents and all living in same home so i asked if the poster also thought that parents should pay bedroom tax straight away if a child dies. No Thats a special exception.

TO CLARIFY its a horrible thing to go through but IMO the two situations should both be treated with respect

So far today people without children getting married is pointless and so are their christmasses. And then these people wonder why they lose friends when they have children!

I want to get married if my relationship becomes at that stage. Because if nothing else it will mean all of my possessions go to my spouse if I die first.

It will avoid it going to my sister and who assumes she'll inherit my money on my death despite hating me and being cruel all my life.

But that's the another thing: the entitlement others feel to your money if you don't have kids.

@Goodornot Yes the entitlement is quite astonishing isn't it. My brother thinks he has more of a right to things because he has children. My mother had a piano that my father had given her as a wedding present. I learnt to play as a child and well into early adulthood. My brother started lessons as a child but gave up after a few months and never touched the piano again. When he found out that my mother was keeping it for me, with the intention that I'd have it when I lived in a place big enough, he kicked off. He should have it because he had kids and therefore it should stay in the family.

I've thought of a comment made to my mother by a cousin (who I avoid like the plague) - she asked how it made my mother feel that I had refused to provide her with grandchildren.

Charming!

Oh god the Christmas one. “I’ve no idea how people without children enjoy Christmas” or some other such shit.

Amazingly. That's the answer. Shows such a lack of imagination that question

I know. “I couldn’t possibly imagine how someone who isn’t in EXACTLY the same family situation as me could possibly enjoy something I enjoy”.

Do we have CF/CL Christmas thread yet? What do we do at Christmas?

We certainly do 😍 and there are some lovely ideas on here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters/4927413-childfree-christmas-plans

🤦 I WAS EVEN ON IT!
Sorry. Brain fart😂

The inheritance thing is hilariously crass.

I was a late surprise when siblings had already left home and I was treated vilely by them as a child, they couldn't hide their resentment. We don't even live in the same country and I haven't seen them for years. Barely any contact. When they visited home they treated me like a slave and barely acknowledge my existence.

Yet one of their 10 year olds (who I've met about 5 times) piped up "when you die we'll be getting your house and money and everything you own cos you don't have kids". There was a huge silence and it was blindingly obvious that my sibling had been telling them that and forcing contact once a year for that purpose.

I said "oh dear...this is rather embarrassing. Sweetheart, you must really try and work hard and afford your own house and things like I did. I didn't realise that you were hoping to inherit from me... As I'm in my 30s I do still plan on having children and if I don't, I have quite a few charities I'll be supporting instead. And of course I have all of my friends' children, my godchildren, and the children's charity that I'm trustee of that I want to leave something for. I'd also like to set up a small bursary or scholarship fund for underprivileged children if I can...But don't worry, I'll leave you a little token and you can buy a nice clock or vase or something to remember me by. I do hope you're not too upset?"

Their faces were pictures I tell you.I also managed to make myself sound really rich (which I'm not) which made them even more angry.

@All2Well

Yet one of their 10 year olds (who I've met about 5 times) piped up "when you die we'll be getting your house and money and everything you own cos you don't have kids". There was a huge silence and it was blindingly obvious that my sibling had been telling them that and forcing contact once a year for that purpose.

OMFG

I'd have brought my niece back in line immediately for that. She will not be inheriting a thing from me and I will leave it to charity of I choose.

@All2Well

Jeeeeze!!

I would be leaving my money well away from them after that comment!

Childfree bingo going on in the AIBU to report my neighbours thread.

A childfree person is only making a fuss about their upstairs neighbour's child running about and bouncing a ball before 6am because childfree people have the time to worry about such ridiculous things.

And childfree people have so much money to spend as they please so of course it's easy for them to suggest buying rugs to minimise the noise.

What astonishes me is how heartless some parents are. There is a particular type in here that abandon their kids as soon as they're 18.

There's a thread where the poster has a 20 year old son, he is on a zero hours contract and has hardly been given any hours this month. He is trying to find an apprenticeship. He can't afford to pay his parents the rent this month and has asked for a rent waiver as a Christmas present.

The OP bizarrely calls it lodge as if he is a lodger. She makes it clear she and her husband are in debt and have a 9 year old too and they need their sons money to pay their way.

God the comments : I'd have no sympathy he's an adult it's embarrassing he can't afford his rent, it's embarrassing he needs a lift to work,etc etc

Ffs he is a 20 year old. Just over 2 years of being an adult and his parents are screwing money out of him not caring that he has fee hours this month and can't afford it. He needs some support still until he finds his feet and that is not embarrassing.

It shocks me that so many parents take that attitude and I wonder why if having children makes you love in a way nothing else can why so many mothers are so bitter and nasty to their kids.

@Goodornot His parents might do well to remember that it will probably be him choosing their nursing home.

Exactly. My mother treated me the same as a teen. She told me when I was 18 that she was not obliged to keep me now as she didn't get benefits for me anymore.

It was horrible. Even my summer jobs between uni terms she took money off me. She never considered how I'd make my own way or supporting herself and instead worried about me plugging the gap of benefits she lost. I have to say I feel a lot of a resentment still and that she should not have relied on benefits or me as her only sources of income. These things stay with you.

@Goodornot I thought the lodge meant like food and bills proportion. I paid that since leaving FT education for few months until I left abroad (and then when I briefly returned for 8 months). I do think it's fair tbh and not washing hands off. The lifts to work... I don't know... I took 10pm train from 15 from maccies shifts. Kids still do where I am from, lifts etc are for emergencies. I get that he had less hours (shouldn't this be time for more hours though?) so they should help, but overall, nothing wrong with paying some share of household.
I don't know, I don't find that particularly heartless generally.

The comments from others were pretty heartless though.

It’s not that it’s heartless to expect an adult child to pay their way. It is, however, heartless to demand it when they don’t have the money to do so when they’re trying their best.

I think a lot of parents think their responsibility to their child ends the second they turn 18. I’m just glad that my parents weren’t like that at all and supported me and my brother as long as needed.

Some of the parents on here will shame/look down on those of us without kids -especially by choice- but are counting down the minutes until their kids are 18 and they can either milk them for all they’re worth or kick them out on their rear to make them learn the hard way that life is tough.

Amazing how that compassion and empathy dries up when they turn 18 isn’t it?

It’s not that it’s heartless to expect an adult child to pay their way. It is, however, heartless to demand it when they don’t have the money to do so when they’re trying their best.

That's what I meant. On that thread he was on a zero hours contract and hadn't been given many hours. He was trying to get an apprenticeship. He even asked for a rent waiver for Christmas instead of presents.

So many mothers in there were saying they had zero sympathy. There are definitely parents who milk their kids for all they're worth as soon as they're 18.

@fitzwilliamdarcy How goes it at work Have you now finished for Christmas?

I’m finished. Manager has been brow beaten into working tomorrow as the two parents rotated on told him they would be calling in due to childcare (which is highly likely a lie as both have partners who don’t work Christmas and family nearby). He did ask if I would please reconsider but I said no and that I was sorry to hear they’d be getting their own way again.