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MNers without children

This board is primarily for MNers without children - others are welcome to post but please be respectful

Original poster

Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

914 replies

derekdied · 09/07/2023 18:54

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

OP posts:
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16
musixa · 04/10/2023 19:27

It's always Christmas Eve the people with children want where I work, so it's been OK this year and last as it's fallen on the weekend. It'll be Tuesday in 2024 and then a run of weekdays until 2028, though Sad

fitzwilliamdarcy · 04/10/2023 19:31

JenniferBooth · 04/10/2023 19:22

@fitzwilliamdarcy have your work colleugues started bending your ear about Christmas yet? We are in October now so i suspect they will start soon. I remember you saying you have worked the past several Christmases

Yep. I’m holding firm and the howls of outrage are probably audible from space. No gratitude whatsoever that I’ve worked 7 in a row!

SoRainbowRhythms · 05/10/2023 09:27

fitzwilliamdarcy · 04/10/2023 19:31

Yep. I’m holding firm and the howls of outrage are probably audible from space. No gratitude whatsoever that I’ve worked 7 in a row!

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Hang in there!

I moved to a different department with Christmas and new year already booked off (not an unusual thing to do where I work). Some goalposts have shifted and they're looking for volunteers for some Xmas and a NYE shift. All eyes on me and another CF colleague. Both of us have concrete plans and aren't budging!

Flanksteak · 05/10/2023 11:11

SoRainbowRhythms · 05/10/2023 09:27

Hang in there!

I moved to a different department with Christmas and new year already booked off (not an unusual thing to do where I work). Some goalposts have shifted and they're looking for volunteers for some Xmas and a NYE shift. All eyes on me and another CF colleague. Both of us have concrete plans and aren't budging!

Show quote history

I just saw a post where someone was asking for legal advice as in a job interview they were asked what salary they were expecting and replied it was advertised as 50k. Interviewer said it's up to 50k but that's dependant on skills, experience and home life. Poster asked why and interviewer explained people with children would get the full salary but people without wouldn't. Anyway, it reminded me of my friend who went to an interview and she had more experience than they had asked but wanted her to take the lower end of the range if she didn't have children and asked what she usually did for Christmas and easter as she would be expected to work it if she didn't have children and couldn't book holidays during summer or half terms. So less money and expected to work unfavourable shifts 😂 she just left the interview and ignored their calls. I've had some shocking job interviews but that one was so bad I didn't even have anything to say when she told me about it, all I could do was laugh.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 05/10/2023 11:42

@Flanksteak Crikey. Is that in the UK?

It’s just such a bizarre mindset to me. Having kids is literally irrelevant to your job - why should it be a factor in your salary?!

Flanksteak · 05/10/2023 11:53

fitzwilliamdarcy · 05/10/2023 11:42

@Flanksteak Crikey. Is that in the UK?

It’s just such a bizarre mindset to me. Having kids is literally irrelevant to your job - why should it be a factor in your salary?!

Yes, the legal post I saw was about the UK not specified where and my friends interview was in England. I guess they think people with children need more money rather than that everyones circumstances are very different and the job is worth a certain amount of money and people's circumstances don't come into it. I wouldn't want to work somewhere like that.

AnotherForumUser · 05/10/2023 12:25

Flanksteak · 05/10/2023 11:53

Yes, the legal post I saw was about the UK not specified where and my friends interview was in England. I guess they think people with children need more money rather than that everyones circumstances are very different and the job is worth a certain amount of money and people's circumstances don't come into it. I wouldn't want to work somewhere like that.

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Is that even legal? It's like the attitude that women didn't need to be paid a proper wage for the same job as a man (who would be oh so more important because he would be supporting a family unlike the silly little woman who worked for pin money). I hope that people who get this attitude at interviews take as much legal action as they can. Those types of companies deserve to go to the wall.

musixa · 05/10/2023 12:32

Flanksteak · 05/10/2023 11:11

I just saw a post where someone was asking for legal advice as in a job interview they were asked what salary they were expecting and replied it was advertised as 50k. Interviewer said it's up to 50k but that's dependant on skills, experience and home life. Poster asked why and interviewer explained people with children would get the full salary but people without wouldn't. Anyway, it reminded me of my friend who went to an interview and she had more experience than they had asked but wanted her to take the lower end of the range if she didn't have children and asked what she usually did for Christmas and easter as she would be expected to work it if she didn't have children and couldn't book holidays during summer or half terms. So less money and expected to work unfavourable shifts 😂 she just left the interview and ignored their calls. I've had some shocking job interviews but that one was so bad I didn't even have anything to say when she told me about it, all I could do was laugh.

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How stupid! What's to stop someone inventing a couple of children - are they going to ask for birth certificates?

Flanksteak · 05/10/2023 12:37

AnotherForumUser · 05/10/2023 12:25

Is that even legal? It's like the attitude that women didn't need to be paid a proper wage for the same job as a man (who would be oh so more important because he would be supporting a family unlike the silly little woman who worked for pin money). I hope that people who get this attitude at interviews take as much legal action as they can. Those types of companies deserve to go to the wall.

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From the couple of replies I read on the legal post there's nothing illegal about it because not having children isn't a protected characteristic. I did think while reading it well the interviewers would just deny saying it if you tried to take any action but I'm no expert in these kinds of things.

musixa · 05/10/2023 12:44

Flanksteak · 05/10/2023 12:37

From the couple of replies I read on the legal post there's nothing illegal about it because not having children isn't a protected characteristic. I did think while reading it well the interviewers would just deny saying it if you tried to take any action but I'm no expert in these kinds of things.

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Is it that straightforward, though? Suppose you didn't have them due to a disability - which could include mental health issues?

Catchasingmewithspiders · 05/10/2023 12:49

musixa · 05/10/2023 12:32

How stupid! What's to stop someone inventing a couple of children - are they going to ask for birth certificates?

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I absolutely plan on doing this in my next job. I've had my neice and my nephew live with me at various points and I've found that colleagues always expect them to be capable of doing things (like being left alone when very young) etc that their own children wouldn't have been capable of simply because they are not biologically mine despite the fact they lived with me

So in my next job I fully intend on just referring to them by name and not as my neice and nephew and letting people think they are my children

Flanksteak · 05/10/2023 13:22

musixa · 05/10/2023 12:44

Is it that straightforward, though? Suppose you didn't have them due to a disability - which could include mental health issues?

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That might give you legal recourse, I honestly don't know. I think it should though. I'll have to check back on the legal post in a few hours and see if there's more replies because I am interested in what the interviewee could do.

EBearhug · 06/10/2023 00:49

interviewer explained people with children would get the full salary but people without wouldn't.

Are they employing the children too, then?

Walrussy · 06/10/2023 10:28

KimberleyClark · 06/10/2023 09:43

This thread

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4913416-to-be-annoyed-when-sil-compares-my-baby-to-her-cat?page=13

is another cracker. Seems that some people with kids really resent childless women who find other ways to be happy. They are not meant to be happy, they should be sad! The SIL is getting plenty of support though.

I'm glad so many are on SIL's side. "It's disrespectful to compare dd to an animal." Why do so many people like to pretend that humans aren't just another species of animal?

fitzwilliamdarcy · 06/10/2023 12:03

I am in shock at that thread - very un-MN. I bet it would’ve been different had it been a dog though…

Catsmere · 06/10/2023 12:25

I wondered if that thread would get mentioned here! At least the OP has been handed her arse and, even better, there have been many pictures of glorious floofs.

Cat worship > infant worship in my book.

Walrussy · 06/10/2023 12:44

Can confirm that if you take two Golden Retrievers and two babies out for the day (the babies are my friend's children), the babies will be ignored whereas the dogs will not get a moment's peace. People love their own kids, but most don't give a crap about other people's.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 06/10/2023 12:49

Walrussy · 06/10/2023 12:44

Can confirm that if you take two Golden Retrievers and two babies out for the day (the babies are my friend's children), the babies will be ignored whereas the dogs will not get a moment's peace. People love their own kids, but most don't give a crap about other people's.

I got shredded on here for suggesting that the reason some MNetters hate dogs so much is because they’re jealous that they get so much attention whereas nobody is really interested in other people’s kids. But I do think there’s something in it.

Spidey66 · 06/10/2023 12:58

I've had the "you're selfish for not having kids" (actually the decision was outside of my control). I don't get that, when many have them so the kids can look after them in their dotage. So that's not selfish???

Walrussy · 06/10/2023 13:10

fitzwilliamdarcy · 06/10/2023 12:49

I got shredded on here for suggesting that the reason some MNetters hate dogs so much is because they’re jealous that they get so much attention whereas nobody is really interested in other people’s kids. But I do think there’s something in it.

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Yeah, my friend wasn't very pleased about it.

LoobyDop · 06/10/2023 13:33

Flanksteak · 05/10/2023 11:11

I just saw a post where someone was asking for legal advice as in a job interview they were asked what salary they were expecting and replied it was advertised as 50k. Interviewer said it's up to 50k but that's dependant on skills, experience and home life. Poster asked why and interviewer explained people with children would get the full salary but people without wouldn't. Anyway, it reminded me of my friend who went to an interview and she had more experience than they had asked but wanted her to take the lower end of the range if she didn't have children and asked what she usually did for Christmas and easter as she would be expected to work it if she didn't have children and couldn't book holidays during summer or half terms. So less money and expected to work unfavourable shifts 😂 she just left the interview and ignored their calls. I've had some shocking job interviews but that one was so bad I didn't even have anything to say when she told me about it, all I could do was laugh.

Show quote history

Jesus, if I was told that I’d stop the interview and make sure I let them know I had no interest in working for them. That’s absolutely disgusting. Apart from the bare fact of the financial disadvantage, can you imagine what an awful culture that would be to be stuck in?

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 06/10/2023 15:19

Jesus, if I was told that I’d stop the interview and make sure I let them know I had no interest in working for them. That’s absolutely disgusting. Apart from the bare fact of the financial disadvantage, can you imagine what an awful culture that would be to be stuck in?

I was just think that that is where I'd stop the interview and walk. Not only are they telling you up front that they discriminate financially against people without children (and this in the interview, when they're trying to impress you enough to make you want to work there) but they're telling you that if you don't have children you'll get lumbered with overtime, Christmas working, shitty shifts that no-one else wants...and that they probably a) discriminate in other ways as well and b) see nothing wrong with that.

Catsmere · 06/10/2023 21:18

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 06/10/2023 15:19

Jesus, if I was told that I’d stop the interview and make sure I let them know I had no interest in working for them. That’s absolutely disgusting. Apart from the bare fact of the financial disadvantage, can you imagine what an awful culture that would be to be stuck in?

I was just think that that is where I'd stop the interview and walk. Not only are they telling you up front that they discriminate financially against people without children (and this in the interview, when they're trying to impress you enough to make you want to work there) but they're telling you that if you don't have children you'll get lumbered with overtime, Christmas working, shitty shifts that no-one else wants...and that they probably a) discriminate in other ways as well and b) see nothing wrong with that.

Bet they’d find a way to make it unpaid overtime, too.