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MNers without children

This board is primarily for MNers without children - others are welcome to post but please be respectful

Original poster

Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

914 replies

derekdied · 09/07/2023 18:54

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

OP posts:
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16
daliesque · 26/09/2023 21:11

LoobyDop · 26/09/2023 18:23

Were you hoping that the secondment would turn permanent, @daliesque? That happened to me earlier this year, it’s shit

No, it was a weird arrangement whereby I went to work for a part of the civil service to provide clinical advice on something. Apologies for the vagueness, but it would be totally outing. So always time limited.

It just showed me that there was an easier life out there where I could have a better quality of life.

It's made me think about the future though.

MissLC · 26/09/2023 21:47

The one that got to me the most when I was 34 and struggling with infertility, IVF appointments and everything that was in our power to try and have children 'you need to have kids now, you'll regret it in a few years and then it'll be too late'..
Gee, thanks. I'll just get pregnant tonight then 🙄

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 27/09/2023 07:03

Someone is now positing the “interesting idea” of childfree people getting no state pension and/or parents getting a bigger state pension for raising taxpaying citizens

What do they thing CF people are if not 'taxpaying citizens' who by their logic would be entitled to those pensions? Sorry, I used the word 'think' and 'logic' there rather than 'inane dribble.'

fetchacloth · 27/09/2023 11:22

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 27/09/2023 07:03

Someone is now positing the “interesting idea” of childfree people getting no state pension and/or parents getting a bigger state pension for raising taxpaying citizens

What do they thing CF people are if not 'taxpaying citizens' who by their logic would be entitled to those pensions? Sorry, I used the word 'think' and 'logic' there rather than 'inane dribble.'

I agree, that's just the most insane, ridiculous "interesting idea" I've come across yet.
Where do these CF people think the money comes from to educate their offspring and fund all the other public services required by them and their children? Basically it's childless women like me and many others working into our 60's without career breaks for childbearing, not by choice in my case.
Sheesh, the CFery of it 😡

Flanksteak · 27/09/2023 11:40

fetchacloth · 27/09/2023 11:22

I agree, that's just the most insane, ridiculous "interesting idea" I've come across yet.
Where do these CF people think the money comes from to educate their offspring and fund all the other public services required by them and their children? Basically it's childless women like me and many others working into our 60's without career breaks for childbearing, not by choice in my case.
Sheesh, the CFery of it 😡

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It makes no sense because how would it be worked out whether the parent had raised a tax payer or not? If they worked for 5 years? 10? 20? Do all parents get the bigger pension and the government just recoup the money if their child goes to prison or becomes a SAHP or whatever? I'm concerned that everyone's vote is equal.

fetchacloth · 27/09/2023 12:03

Flanksteak · 27/09/2023 11:40

It makes no sense because how would it be worked out whether the parent had raised a tax payer or not? If they worked for 5 years? 10? 20? Do all parents get the bigger pension and the government just recoup the money if their child goes to prison or becomes a SAHP or whatever? I'm concerned that everyone's vote is equal.

Show quote history

That's a good point @Flanksteak everyone's vote should be equal really. There are a variety of reasons why people can't or don't work and contribute taxes.
What is creeping in though is this idea that people who haven't children, for whatever reason that is, should relinquish their rights to state benefits and state pension. Those individuals have spent their adult lives keeping everything going in the country and many have sacrificed much to continue doing so.

EBearhug · 27/09/2023 12:56

fetchacloth · 27/09/2023 12:03

That's a good point @Flanksteak everyone's vote should be equal really. There are a variety of reasons why people can't or don't work and contribute taxes.
What is creeping in though is this idea that people who haven't children, for whatever reason that is, should relinquish their rights to state benefits and state pension. Those individuals have spent their adult lives keeping everything going in the country and many have sacrificed much to continue doing so.

Show quote history

But if we didn't have children, we've no one else to look after us, either. I realise this doesn't actually matter, what with our lives being worthless, but there is a distinct lack of logic.

Daleksatemyshed · 27/09/2023 15:19

It's a weird idea, the CF work more years/hours usually but we'd be entitled to less. I suppose we're all meant to be sitting on massive private pensions so we don't need the state's money. The whole welfare system is already based around having children, which is fine because I don't want anyone's DC to starve, but the few months I was out of work the money I got was very low and only went on for a year, apparently as I had no DC after a year my partner was expected to fund me

EBearhug · 27/09/2023 18:19

I've been out of work since January. Better tell my bf he's going to be expected to look after me, when the training I'm starting next week comes to an end. 🤣

SoRainbowRhythms · 28/09/2023 21:38

Got a good one at work today...

"But what do you actually do if you don't have children to look after?"

Apparently having children is the only way to keep busy!

Catsmere · 28/09/2023 23:18

I'd love to turn that on them with "But what do you actually do if you don't have an aged parent to look after?"

fettuccini · 28/09/2023 23:43

Not me but a close friend who had recently returned to work after getting married and honeymooning...'you'll change your mind when you meet the right man'.

Kendodd · 28/09/2023 23:43

SoRainbowRhythms · 28/09/2023 21:38

Got a good one at work today...

"But what do you actually do if you don't have children to look after?"

Apparently having children is the only way to keep busy!

You should just list all the wonderful leisure activities you get to do because you don't have childing to look after.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 29/09/2023 07:00

fettuccini · 28/09/2023 23:43

Not me but a close friend who had recently returned to work after getting married and honeymooning...'you'll change your mind when you meet the right man'.

Implying that you can't possibly have made a mature, considered adult decision you intend to stick with and that all it takes to make you change your mind is a man you haven't even met yet, you silly little girl child.

JenniferBooth · 29/09/2023 20:13

Im 50 so that time has passed anyway but if a man had wanted children with me then he simply wouldnt have been the right man.

Decaffe · 02/10/2023 11:14

Here’s a special Twitter treat 🙄 that is rightfully getting some ‘kick back.’

https://x.com/shakinthatchalk/status/1708520274113528020?s=46&t=FhtAOuIw6WFA6GfY51MJFw

OutsideLookingOut · 02/10/2023 12:32

Decaffe · 02/10/2023 11:14

Here’s a special Twitter treat 🙄 that is rightfully getting some ‘kick back.’

https://x.com/shakinthatchalk/status/1708520274113528020?s=46&t=FhtAOuIw6WFA6GfY51MJFw

Challenging that comment is amazing!

Daleksatemyshed · 02/10/2023 19:41

That's just the everyday version of the CF should be the ones to work Christmas

musixa · 04/10/2023 13:14

Really valid one raised in AIBU about use of 'family' to mean exclusively people with children:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4912247-i-hate-when-companies-use-family-to-mean-only-if-you-have-children?reply=129674725

Possimpible · 04/10/2023 15:05

musixa · 04/10/2023 13:14

Really valid one raised in AIBU about use of 'family' to mean exclusively people with children:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4912247-i-hate-when-companies-use-family-to-mean-only-if-you-have-children?reply=129674725

Wow that thread is unpleasant to read. The smug procreators are out in force. Nice to see some people don't feel that way though. I guess it's individual. I personally consider DH family now we're married, I didn't before, but if someone considered their long-term partner family who am I to tell them they're not?

SoRainbowRhythms · 04/10/2023 15:28

I started replying to that thread so many times then stopped myself or I would have got banned again. We really are considered second class citizens sometimes.

KimberleyClark · 04/10/2023 16:18

Yes it’s an awful thread.

Liverpool52 · 04/10/2023 17:36

It's something I get in work so often when it comes to working weekends (not shift work but it happens sometimes) or have to go away or work christmas. "But I have family." Ummmmm so do I, my husband, parents, brother. "But I have children."

fitzwilliamdarcy · 04/10/2023 18:16

Yeah, the person who responded to me saying that “hard working families” is an annoying phrase by mocking that I’m estranged from my birth family - real peach. There’s some seriously insecure people on that thread.

JenniferBooth · 04/10/2023 19:22

@fitzwilliamdarcy have your work colleugues started bending your ear about Christmas yet? We are in October now so i suspect they will start soon. I remember you saying you have worked the past several Christmases