Boff needs chocolate. Nanny has just resigned.

[SnowyBoff]

So folks, there we were being nice, supportive employers to someone who frankly with hindsight has a major attitude problem, and she's just resigned on us and leaves in a fortnight. I am sure Christmas is a brilliant time to look for a new one (not).

This nanny thing is so angst-ridden it's untrue. It also means we may have sacrificed another agency fee for a mere 10 weeks' work as well. And the kids will be really upset and go all funny on us for a bit because they will be so confused about everything.

I am not a happy Boff.

Sending e-chocolate. Different jobs and different families suit different nannies. Some nannies are more adaptable to different employers than others. We are not all horrendously unreliable attitude problem ridden minxes contrary to popular belief Hope you find somebody else.

Even if we can't put full stops in the right place

Thank you.

This was not a personality clash. This was someone who had no clue what it meant to go to work, IMO.

So sorry to here your shitty news.

Are you sure you can't get your agency to replace for free given it's only 10 weeks? Most of them will find you a new nanny for no extra fee if either party is unhappy within 12 weeks.

Check your agency contract - it may put a cap on the chocolate intake, at least for this evening

It is 8 weeks but actually they are very nice and there may be some goodwill as we have been absolute saints in relation to this nanny.

Oh *. What happened?!

Afraid I can't offer to help you this time but you have my utmost sympathies, tons of good vibes and I will ask anyone I know looking for work whether they want to come to you.

*I was going to actually swear but then remembered that I have my sympathetic nanny hat on!

Oh no. Hope you have better luck with the next nanny.

'hands boffy a huge drink'

i was omg when i read your email yesterday - tried to reply but keeps bouncing back so blondes isnt ignoring you in your time of need!!!

oh no,thought tbh i am not suprised,i didnt think she was that good and was making your working life stressful

a nanny should make it easier

yes going to be harder to find a nanny ouer xmas,do you need someone to start jan 4th?

Will work let you have time off?

you have had such a run of bad luck - there are some fantastic nannies about about (we are all on mn) so please once again dont let this silly airhead get you down about nannies xxxx

Basically, if I take a step back from it, I think she had a bit of an attitude problem, because she was very mixed up about whether we were actually her parents rather than the kids' parents. So she asked us to drive her around in the evenings, snapped at us when we told her we weren't going to, expected us to be constantly on hand to look after the kids if she didn't feel like turning up, and expected us to teach her loads of things that she had already covered in training but was not interested enough to revise or look up for herself (eg what constitutes second stage baby food, how to dress children for different sorts of weather, and so on).

The consquences of all this were not great. We had a couple of incidences where she went AWOL and wasn't there to look after the children when she should have been, there were one or two minor but worrying issues with the baby (for example he got little welts on his neck from her ripping the bib off in a hurry, and when I told her not to do that, she tried to blame the marks on his dribbling, even though they were towards the back of his neck and obviously line shaped), I had to nag her to wrap the baby up warm in the cold weather after she brought him home crying with cold and his little arms like icicles, etc etc etc.

We have had the following in response to quite reasonable observations and requests about the children:

Us: Could you make sure you lock up the house and put the burglar alarm if you are last adult out of the house?
Her: That's proxy parenting!

Us: Why did you ignore our instructions from this morning about laying the table for dinner with everything the kids need, so they aren't making excuses about needing things and then running around the kitchen like maniacs?
Her: When do you expect me to reach these standards of perfection you demand?

Blondes knew about some of this as was recommending we get rid of her - well, she was right.

Agency are giving a 1/3 refund which is not unreasonable - they have been very supportive and done bags of work, including visiting her here for a day and makign sure she knew what she was supposed to be doing,

look on promotions chat free £20 box of chocs if you spend £20 might help x

Snowyboff, i am so sorry you have had to go through all of this 'nightmare' with your nanny.
I have been a nanny for 13 years and a maternity nurse for 5 and it really makes me wonder if she was ever trained let alone qualified.
It nearly broke my heart when i read about your little one having small welts on the back of his neck from the bib being taken off too fast.

To me, it sounds like in a way you will be much better off without her, i know it cant be ideal having no nanny right before xmas but try to keep your chin up... Mary poppins will come along i am sure.

Boff, sorry to hear that you had a bad run. There are some good nannies out there (true we are all on MN ). Hopefully the agnecy will send you someone professional this time.

OMG
She sounds horrendous and quite frankly given what you've written most of that is surely common sense.
She expected you to drive her around! Didn't wrap up the baby properly in this weather!
No wonder nannying has a bad reputation with 'nannies' like this. Mind you one of my friends quit last week because she didn't want to make a costume for a Christmas show and her mb asked her if she would stop using baked beans as a vegetable because she couldn't be bothered to prepare any veg. She thought both these were totally unreasonable demands
I went mad.
Really hope you find somebody better and shame on the agency for taking her on in the first place

She was trained at a Very Well Known Training Establishment. Please do not name it on this thread in case of internet searching, as it is not their fault and I am still working with them to find someone else.

I will say no more.

I have to say apart from MN the nannies I come across are 80% dreadful and only 20% decent. What is happening out there, or was it always thus?

I'm so sorry about your problems. If it's any consolation, I agree with those statistics.

She sounds nuts. Good riddance! Not sure I agree with the stats; definately better folk in SW London than that but we pay well! Go for someone with more experience and checkable refs (and ask lots of questions to them); better to pay a bit more in the long run and get some real help/less stress imho.

Oh Boff I am sorry this one has turned out to be so incompetent and a but of a nightmare too!

I agree with the stats. I meet a lot of nannies in my travels and most of them should not be in charge of a goldfish let alone a child. So many people I've met (especially in the states) go into nannying for the money and not for the purpose of being an actual positive influence on the lives of the children they look after and the family they work for! But sometimes it's parents who exacerbate this problem too in that they use the cheapest childcare they can find. Pay peanuts, get monkey.

Where abouts are you and do you need a live in? I am looking for a job to start early Jan! (and i promise to not do any of the things you have mentioned - completely nuts imo!!!!! most au pairs wouldnt do those things!!)

You can email me on [email protected]

Beth

She sounds a bit like my 6 year old. Good riddance. And good luck with your next one. Statistically, I think you are due a good un next.

What a nightmare. I think Athene sums her up perfectly.

Beth, email not working but I will be in touch soon.

Third time lucky?

Am guessing the was a recently qual nanny from said Well Known Establishment, possibly a very recently qual? Sadly some nannies are quite crazy and should not be nannying, but unfortunately there's no way of knowing which are which.

You get a better class of nanny on MN

sorry about your awful experience, hope you and your kids get someone nice next time, you sound like you deserve it!

and BTW I also agree with your statistics, I have nannied and what you think is true for me too

(also I think its true for childminders, the ones on MN sound great but in RL I've never met one so dedicated as they are on here)

One thing I was wondering earlier - with all this push to get nannies qualified and approved, how come it is harder and harder to find a good one? Surely with all this training and so on they should be getting better, not worse??

I agree about the dedicated MN nannies, btw.