Boff needs chocolate. Nanny has just resigned.

[SnowyBoff]

So folks, there we were being nice, supportive employers to someone who frankly with hindsight has a major attitude problem, and she's just resigned on us and leaves in a fortnight. I am sure Christmas is a brilliant time to look for a new one (not).

This nanny thing is so angst-ridden it's untrue. It also means we may have sacrificed another agency fee for a mere 10 weeks' work as well. And the kids will be really upset and go all funny on us for a bit because they will be so confused about everything.

I am not a happy Boff.

Well, she has now gone - we let her off early because it's snowing again and we didn't want her and her family having to sleep in the car if they got stranded somewhere. The kids gave her a small but highly posh box of chocolates DS2 had chosen - we didn't give her anything although DH wanted to go out to get her something, because frankly he is a softy.

We collected the nanny car from the body shop ourselves today as we didn't trust her to drive it back in one piece in the snow. We shelled out the £400 (again because DH is a softy). I have cancelled the magician for DS1's birthday to offset some of the cost of this. It actually allowed me to feel a bit of a martyr, which is quite satisfying.

For Xmas I want a dead fit manny who loves cooking, can drive and who isn't fazed by extended bf and norks flapping about everywhere. Not much, eh?

did nanny - now ex nanny give you/mr boffy or boffets xmas pressies/bottle of bubbly?

DS1 got a drawing set, DS2 a teddy, DS3 nothing as far as I can tell, nothing for us as mb or db.

I spent £30 on her birthday present (including champers) in her first week!

she didnt buy ds3 a pressie but did other 2 or get you a bottle of wine/bubbly eyc

i would have taken chocos back off her and been scoffy boffy and eaten them myself

my bubba is going to love her noisey toy mb db wont

Wouldn't have drunk her bubbly anyway.

Just had a nice family dinner with kids sitting nicely, and without her hovering at the end of the table, bulimic-style, refusing to eat but pointing out "Well, I'm sitting here like you asked".

Kids are surprisingly unflustered after the initial wails of grief. They are more resilient than I thought. But as DH said, she has only been here a couple of months after all.

Have just checked with other DSs, and no present for DS3. Odd that.

Are you still looking if so wot area do you live in, I am currently a nanny to three children but am looking for a new nanny job starting in Jan as there mum is giving up work. If you want to e-mail me on [email protected].
thanks, sorry to hear you have had so much trouble with your nanny there is nannies out there who are far better and look after your children like they were their own and thats what you need :-D

Thanks for your offer Amie. I am in Cambridge.

Update ... we've found a lovely temp, very Mary Poppins, so I am now very hopeful of success. But she will only be able to be with us for six weeks or so.

However, further bad news. I have discovered the duff nanny ran off with two of my babyfood cookbooks! These books are old family friends! I've had them for all of the children, and I am now bereft! I mentioned this to DH and he said he had caught her muttering rather negatively in the kitchen one day that she 'had needed to buy her own cookbooks'. I had seen different books appearing around the place but assumed she had bought them out of interest. But if the Froebel thing is anything to go by, I can now only assume she felt forced to buy books in order to do her job, but that she felt we should have paid for those as well.

Doing you can do to keep her?!

fab you have found mary poppins - but be warned she doesnt start singing to birds/walking on rooftops

there was a thread ages ago but someone employing her - was very funny to read

why can she only stay 6 weeks? does she have another job to go to?

least gives you a breather and who knows what the NY will bring

regards cook books, ringthe thief ex nanny and ask for them back

Which books were they?

has she taken the ones she bought as well as your?

I would just go round and get them, not ring and ask.

She's hours and hours away, so I think I will just ask her to post them back.

DS2 was funny today. He said, "Mummy, when you get the next nanny you need to choose one who doesn't just want the money and then will run off". However overall the boys are being pretty OK about it now, although they do keep checking it wasn't their fault.

Have now interviewed a possible permanent one, but she would be live out, so this would reduce the hours quite a lot whilst increasing the cost - extra strain on me basically. I am a bit nervous about this. Plus she has booked three weeks' holiday in term time over the next few months, and while this is understandable on one level, we would need a temp for those periods, adding even more to the cost (I suppose we could offer unpaid leave but it would look a bit mean, I think). What are people's thoughts?

I liked the temp more than this potential permanent one, and would regret not being able to have her here for a few weeks, because she really was outstanding. I am a bit in a quandary.

The prebooked holiday would not be a deal-killer for me if everything else was absolutely right - though I think that you are quite within your rights to say that some or all of it will have to be taken as unpaid leave. (I assume that this holiday would be taken before the new nanny had built up a holiday entitlement.) However, after all the nonsense you have gone through, I do think that you should be very careful before hiring the next person. In your shoes I would stick with the temp and take time to find the right person. And I would be absolutely scrupulous about checking references and asking probing questions. Good luck!

Could you ask the temp if they would consider becoming permanent.

Possible permanent booking holiday in advance is understandable, they may have booked it a while back, even prior to leaving/being made redundant from their last job.

I wouldn't take the nanny on who has booked a holiday because she is live out. Why add more stress to your life. Having a nanny is meant to make things easier for you.

Try not to rush in to employing someone, hang in there for someone who is just right for you.

bump

when i started my current job 3.5years ago i had 3 weeks booked off the next year (but was wedding/honeymoon)

my mb obv honoured this,plus they were off skiing the week before so i had a month off

tbh i didnt expect to be paid for the 3rd week, but the 2 were my choice out of 4

but did get paid

maybe say that she gets paid for 2 and takes other as unpaid, but obv doesnt get any more her choice holiday

If you have an uneasy feeling and 3 weeks for someone looking for a permanent post doesn't bode well; I would hang on for someone better. Really don't understand why you can't convert the temp/offer her a good deal. Use your gut instincts; so far has meant I have questioned myself to death but have so far only hired good nannies.

If you have an uneasy feeling and 3 weeks for someone looking for a permanent post doesn't bode well; I would hang on for someone better. Really don't understand why you can't convert the temp/offer her a good deal. Use your gut instincts; so far has meant I have questioned myself to death but have so far only hired good nannies.

why cant temp nanny stay longer than 6 weeks?

or is she already booked up for work/starting perm job?

Temp is booked up and then going travelling for a bit. I already asked if she would be interested in trying out the post with a view to it becoming permanent, but her plans were already very well established and she said know.

I suppose we could have the temp for 5 or so weeks and then start the new nanny off after she had had her holiday in early Feb, but there's a risk she might accept another job in the meantime. Plus I am not sure how unsettled the kids would be by this.

Not keen to pay for holidays in term time because that's what we are basically hiring her for - she is less use to us in the school holidays as I take a lot of time off myself then, plus she would get the whole of August off anyway, plus more than a week at Xmas and Easter, so she'd end up with 10+ weeks' holiday that year. In addition to this, covering 3 weeks' extra holiday pay would leave us £1500 out of pocket in temp costs.

It's not the first nanny we have interviewed who has announced at interview that she has pre-booked loads of holidays in term time - it's a bit baffling why they do this, IMO.

Oooooooooooooo Boff, I wondered where you'd got to - get your bum back to the April mums thread

Poor you by the way - I can't believe what bad luck you've had with nannies

sorry, no not know!
Watching Paradox whilst typing!

i sometimes book holidays in term time as

1)much cheaper
2) more likely to have no/less children at hotel - as much as i love children, on holidays i cant stand having a child sit at my feet/sunbed and whine all day as bored/sunburnt etc