Boff needs chocolate. Nanny has just resigned.

[SnowyBoff]

So folks, there we were being nice, supportive employers to someone who frankly with hindsight has a major attitude problem, and she's just resigned on us and leaves in a fortnight. I am sure Christmas is a brilliant time to look for a new one (not).

This nanny thing is so angst-ridden it's untrue. It also means we may have sacrificed another agency fee for a mere 10 weeks' work as well. And the kids will be really upset and go all funny on us for a bit because they will be so confused about everything.

I am not a happy Boff.

I'd say go for lots of experience with as little employers as poss, a nanny who stays with one family for a few years is a safe bet

I think not all people who choose to be a nanny/childminder are cut out to be good, whether they are qualified or not. It's down to the person at the end of the day, it's not the piece of paper that will be taking care of your children.

I would like to offer any help I can

Boff - with everything you've been through is a nanny the best way to go? Is there any mileage in nursery plus housekeeper type and adjustment in one or both parent's working patterns? Someone I know went with an arrangement like that in the end - her dh cut down his work by one day to do childcare she does three days so between them they are 1.4 of a full time equivalent and only use one day at nursery because her mum also works part time and does the other day. I know the last bit isn't an option for most of us!

yes newly qualified from the place we dont mention

i truely cant beleive you have had such bad luck ((HUGS)) as you have had employing nannies nuters!!

as i said in my email (that you finally got+about 10times) if I could clone myself i would

the suggestion to use a nursery+older woman/cm for your older 2 may be easier, but having a nanny does should make your life easier

i really hope the agency/place we dont mention do something about this girl and her lazy attitude and yes i did say get rid of her when you told me about the marks round bubba's neck and feeding him food off the floor 2mths ago i dont like being proved right - well i do,but not in this case iyswim

NL, sadly our jobs involve a three hour a day commute and a five hour a day commute respectively in opposite directions, and we work in highly competitive creative industries that only have limited employment availability locally, so we have had to travel to find work. We've older kids just settled in good schools, so uprooting would be a bad idea at the moment. I have already changed career once and spent a huge amount of time and money retraining, so yet another shift would be insane. And basically nursery is not an option because there are none around here any more - getting to the nearest one and doing a drop off and driving back would add about 30-45 minutes to my journey at each end of the day, and make me incredibly late for work. Plus I would have to leave work at about 4.15 every day to be sure to be on time for the pick up. Flexible working would be impossible for DH (he runs a department) and career suicide for me. So we're a bit trapped in this model right now.

Fab, thanks for offer.

Apparently they plan to carpet her and she won't be getting her final qualification. That's appropriate, I think.

oh dear - sending helpful 'find-a-good-nanny'-vibes. if it helps we've had two brilliant ones, and one was recruited in december for a january start!

at least this way you don't have any angst about sacking her?

They don't give qualifications away at the place we don't mention.

We had a brilliant temp from there, so I have seen how amazing good nannies can be. But it cost more than I earned after tax.

I am not that worried about sacking people. I just go through the disciplinary procedures properly. However it has saved me having to write her official letters and so on.

you dont need to get her a christmas pressie/give bonus

always look on the bright side of life,la la, la la, la la la la la la

Blondes, funnily enough that was the first thing I said to DH.

great minds boffy

She fed your child food off the floor?!

Am actually gobsmacked at some of the stuff here. I really, really hope you find someone soon and that they sign the contract, stick to the contract and are not lazy mares with attitude problems and no idea how to look after children who have wasted vast sums of money supposedly being trained to do just that. How did she get in?! Isn't it horrendously competitive?

Frakkin, she does have a very good rapport with young children, so that's probably how she got in. But for me that is not the only requirement - you have to attend to their care in a very conscientious way if they are to be healthy and happy in the medium term. This means different things to different people, but I would say for the record that I do have four children, have been around the block a bit, and most of what I expect is the kind of mainstream stuff you see being done everywhere. In other words, I am not getting her to starch Christian Dior frilly baby pants, rock the baby for 45 minutes before every nap, or hunt down obscure Eastern tofu derivatives to feed them with. I just want the kids cleaned up now and then, wrapped up warm if they go out, encouraged to do homework and to see their friends, and fed something sensible and traditional when the occasion demands. Seriously, how hard can that be? The other (excellent) nanny from the place we don't mention thought this was an ideal first job for someone, so we were very hopeful. But that nanny was from the NNEB era and perhaps things were different then.

I think my nanny doesn't know how lucky she is. I had a friend who had a Princess Christian nanny for her PFB and she made her do all these peculiar macrobiotic-type foods, and spend half her life taking said PFB to a consultant paediatrician every time she got a sniffle, and got the nanny to supervise PFB like a hawk at every single kids' birthday party in case she ate a Malteser - there is none of that nonsense here.

But I am coming to the conclusion that most people who work in childcare are actually not very interested in it at all.

One sad thing is that I brought loads of really nice demonstration Froebel and Steiner equipment home from work the other day, to show her. I thought she'd really be interested and enjoy looking at them and testing the toys out - I worked as a nursery nurse for a couple of years in my early twenties when I was training as a teacher, and I loved doing all that stuff. However she just looked at it and didn't ask any questions or anything. I found it where I had left it the next day. No interest whatsoever. I think that says it all.

Perhaps one of the factors is that she is simply not very clever.

"But I am coming to the conclusion that most people who work in childcare are actually not very interested in it at all.:

that's a very depressing observation to make. And you sound like a fantastic employer, considerate, reasonable, good sense of humour and common sense. I don't "do" older kids otherwise I would love to work for someone like you who just wants a nanny who loves her job and does it well.

thenewbornnanny

what do you meaN YOU DON'T DO OLDER KIDS? (CAPS ON ERROr)

boff, I agree with your outlook!

I'm an NNEB trained nanny and I know what you mean

Oh heck Boff - wishing you all the best in finding a replacement.

Which area are you in Boff? There may be nannies looking for work on here

ssd - some of us nannies feel we are better at caring for younger children than older children. Perhaps that is what TNBN means. Nannying for a teenager is going to be quite different to nannying for a toddler.

Well bring back the NNEB then, that's all I can say.

I am wondering what made it so different from NVQ DCEs though?

I am very near Cambridge (15 mins by car, 20 mins by bike from historic centre), in a large village with lots of amenities, shops, restaurants, pubs and so on. I have three DSs that need looking after (sole charge), age 11y, 8y and 8 months. The job is 50 hours a week live out or 60 hours a week live in. Natty little red nanny car and massive light and bright double bedroom with seating area provided, share bathroom with baby and guests. £300 pw net live-in or £350 pw net live out. Nursery duties only (breakfast, school run, baby care during the day, homework and music practice supervision, kids' tea with a bit extra cooked for us, kids laundry, about once a week there is also a post office or dry cleaner run (or similar, can be done whilst taking baby for a walk in the pushchair). We have a cleaner who comes twice a week (but nanny would be cleaning kids rooms and bathrooms). Email is boffinmum at hotmail dot co dot uk.

Only bright, interested people who really like nannying need apply!

I'm an NNEB nanny too, and tbh, your job sounds lovely, and you sound like very nice employers in not wanting weird macro biotic food stuff, and equally odd things for your dc's.

Fingers crossed you find a nice normal, (NNEB if possible!) happy, non workshy, sensible nanny.

We do exist!

Why 20% more hours if it's live in? Wondering if a 12 hour day may put some applicants off, or are extra 10 hours a week due to babysitting being included?

I wonder what differences there are between the old NNEB and the NVQ/DCE now. When I did my NNEB it was at the time things were switching over, so it is a CACHE Diploma in Nursery Nursing (NNEB) which I wouldn't have thought differs that much from the current courses.