uncomfortable with childminder driving my dd about

[mollynp]

i don't know what is considered normal, so if anyone can help, please do! my dd is starting with a childminder next week. my other two sons were looked after by in-laws so have no experience of childminders.
Basically is it normal for childminders to take kids out in the car much if they don't need to (i.e. don't need to drive to schools, etc.)?
i am really uncomfortable about someone i don't really know driving about with my dd, when i don't know how skilfull a driver she is, or how safe her car seat is/if it is correctly fitted. I am very anal about car seats, and my dd has a stage 1 rear facing one in our car. so i'm also not really happy about her being forward facing in the car.
Is it acceptable to ask her not to take her out in the car? or if i'm uncomfortable with dd being forward facing, should i buy another rear facing seat for her car (£200-250)?
Also the car has loads of scrapes and dents in the side, which doesn't make me entirely confident!!

OP, I don't think your concerns are unreasonable at all - I mean, about putting a child in a front-facing seat and being driven by someone whose driving safety you don't know about.

People think I'm completely uptight, but I don't care. I have a thing about car safety - we have rear-facing toddler seats and I have no hesitation at all about turning down lifts from friends if I think their driving is rubbish.

On the CM issue, which is what you were asking about after all (!) maybe a nursery would be the better option. Some nurseries do take kids out in group transport (e.g., minibuses) but I think (if it's anything like our nursery) you could opt out.

I am a cm and couldnt take on mindee whose parent didnt trust me to drive her around. We do lots of activities and go to lots of places. I have new fitted car seats and all the relevant business insurance.,

if a parent couldnt trust me to drive then there is no trust at all and that wouldnt work for me..

I am wondering what the basis for the OP's neurosis is. she works in a hospital, but other than thta, she hasn't given any explnation to her irrational concerns.
what does your dh think OP ?

all sensible parents are concerned about their childs safety and welfare but I think this is over the top...

my kids have been at school with the poor kids who arnt allowed to go on school trips or treats as they have parents who are so worried about their safety.. its irrational and a bit selfish I think..

i dont like flying but get on with it as wouldnt let my kids miss out on holidays.

again as a cm I wouldnt deal with a parent who wasnt able to be reassured by my ability to drive safely etc.. registered cms have to jump through hoops as regards safety and children are usually watched much better than they are at home or with grandma and even at some nurserys....

Oblomov, I think you are being unfairly condemnatory of the OP. Why is worrying about car safety irrational? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to travel in a car compared to many other activities? Many people are abysmal and unsafe drivers and it is a wonder how they are still alive at all. People can be incredibly touchy about any criticism of their driving, taking it as a personal slight, when, actually, we would all benefit hugely from more focus on road safety.

thebody Childminders do not have to undertake any test to prove their driving skills, despite being regulated heavily in other areas. Even if I totally trusted a person in other respects - e.g., general day-to-day care of my kids, I would want to know about their driving before I let them go out in a car.

I do agree that some people worry unnecessarily about all manner of activities which are statistically not very risky actually. Personally, I wouldn't withdraw my kids from school trips because I think that's not reasonable or fair, but I would make sure the driver was responsible and had no history of accidents or convictions.

narmada, i appreciate that car driving is dangerous. so is walking your child in a buggy down to the local shops. we have to get this into perspective.
Op's fears are irrational. can you not see this. you need to trust your cm to look after your children. i am not sure what the basis for op's concern is.

well if the cm is insured to drive and hasnt been banned then surely she is a good a driver than any one else..

how could you test her ability? get her to drive while you drive behind or covertly watch her going about her business..

its a nonsense...you either trust a cm or you dont, you cant pick and choose.

oblomov and thebody I think we will have to agree to disagree about this - people have different attitudes to risk and that is OK. It is OK to be risk-averse, and OK to be more daring, providing you are not putting anyone at risk by being more daring.

I don't know about the original poster, oblomov but the basis of my fear of cars and driving is based primarily on a reading of comparative risk statistics and I feel there is no better way of getting things into perspective than looking at the statistics. For what it's worth, the the OP's fears about forward-facing car seats are not irrational. Rear-facing car seats have been proven to be around 5 times safer than forward-facing ones.

My wariness based on statistics has been compounded by my personal experience of two extremely traumatic incidents while being driven by other drivers, and one family incident whereby my uncle's passenger was killed by a careless driver while he was severely affected, mentally.