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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

uncomfortable with childminder driving my dd about

108 replies

mollynp · 04/09/2009 20:59

i don't know what is considered normal, so if anyone can help, please do! my dd is starting with a childminder next week. my other two sons were looked after by in-laws so have no experience of childminders.
Basically is it normal for childminders to take kids out in the car much if they don't need to (i.e. don't need to drive to schools, etc.)?
i am really uncomfortable about someone i don't really know driving about with my dd, when i don't know how skilfull a driver she is, or how safe her car seat is/if it is correctly fitted. I am very anal about car seats, and my dd has a stage 1 rear facing one in our car. so i'm also not really happy about her being forward facing in the car.
Is it acceptable to ask her not to take her out in the car? or if i'm uncomfortable with dd being forward facing, should i buy another rear facing seat for her car (£200-250)?
Also the car has loads of scrapes and dents in the side, which doesn't make me entirely confident!!

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thebody · 05/09/2009 13:02

I think your post is very strange. I take out all my mindees every day incorrectly fitted and new car seats I brought myself to run my business.

If you dont want your child driven around then stick her in a room at your local nursery.

I take mine to the park, toddler groups, the library, rhythm time and soft play, how utterly boring for a child to just stay in the house all day.. would drive me mad and yes I wouldnt take on any child whose parent was so dictatorial about the day..

Of course she must have buisness insurance and mot e.t.c. thats the law..

Are you sure though that you are really happy with this cm in general?

thebody · 05/09/2009 13:03

lol that should be in CORRECTLY fitted car seats

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 05/09/2009 13:29

its possible the CM is a better driver than you!
How are you going to cope with school trips, sleepovers where the other parents pick your child up, buses and trains etc?
dd's childmonder picked her up because we didn't have a car. Long as she could cope with the screaming and the fits I was glad someone would take on dd!

Original poster

mollynp · 05/09/2009 16:57

i was only asking what was considered normal, as i said i didn't even consider that she would be taken out in the car! but i see that i'll probably have to get another car seat. before my two boys were looked after by grandparents who rarely ever took them in the car, just locally where they could walk. i only recently started driving myself (one year ago) and used to walk everywhere before that

OP posts:

thebody · 05/09/2009 17:20

honestly sure your dd will be fine and you will get used to trusting someone else with her.. best of luck and dont worry x

Ripeberry · 05/09/2009 17:31

There are risks whatever you do. You could get a CM who does not drive but uses pushchairs and a car could run them over on the pavement
If you are so worried about this, get a seat for the CM or use a nursery.
I'm a CM and a member of the Institute of Advanced Motorists but this does not mean I'm a 'perfect' driver as accidents will always happen.
If you expect a CM to stay at home all day (especially if they are in a village) then that is a bit daft.
I mention this as one mum asked me to stay home with her pfb and not got out and get other people to collect my own kids !
But she was not prepared to pay double fee for it.
As I mentioned before you either need a nursery or a nanny.
But unless you can find a CM who lives in a town with lots of facilities withing walking distance, you will find most of them NEED to drive.

Original poster

mollynp · 05/09/2009 20:50

we don't live in a village, we live in the outskirts of london, but we have a village green, as at one point it would have been a village! so there is no real need to drive as there are lots of facilities nearby, but i can understand why she would want to.
i don't particularly like driving, and only started again because i had to get my kids to school in hackney, and it would otherwise involve catching 3 buses!!
i'll look into getting a combination car seat or i'll have to get a proper rear facing one

OP posts:

stomp · 05/09/2009 20:51

Most childminders use their car everyday, not only for nursery/school picks ups/drop offs but to attend toddlers, soft play and other outings. They generally have a set routine of outings and so it would be unreasonable to ask her not to take her car because she will no doubt have other mindee?s to cater for. if she has her full quota then it is easier to get out and about in a car than trying to find the right pushchair combination for every trip-believe me it is a nightmare storing them all, and of course there is the time factor if she is collecting children from pre-school etc.Your only alternative is finding a non driver. You need to work out what it is really want from your childcarer, if it?s a stay-at-home childminder that only does outings within walking distance then you will still have to accept her routine.
I understand your concerns but she will have business insurance & will have to adhere to current carseat regulations and if it?s a real problem to you why did you choose her?.
BTW I am a non driving childminder and I prefer the slower pace of life, that means we can take leisurely walks and stay in to play.

Littlefish · 05/09/2009 20:58

You need to speak to your childminder about this if you are planning to buy a carseat for her to use. My childminder bought a new carseat for my dd, because she wanted to be sure that the car seat would fit correctly in her car.

squiby2004 · 05/09/2009 21:19

As a CM I have to say I wouldn't touch you with a barge poll! I am not about to b dictated to by parent about whether I can use my car during business hours. You either trust your CM or you don't in which case you need to look at somebody else. TBH you sound more suited to a nursery setting where this sort of situation does not occur.

In addition I use my own car seats in my car for 2 reasons:

I know they fir correctly
I know their history 100% (ie bought from new and never been involved in a car crash.

My car has an encap 5 star safety rating and I drive my child about in it so I am happy it is safe and fit for use. If its good enough for my child its exactly the same for my minded children.

Original poster

mollynp · 05/09/2009 21:27

i haven't dictated to anyone what to do!! i was just asking what is normal. i was just concerned as i don't know her at all. i don't think it is unreasonable to worry about someone you don't really know driving your kid about!! especially as the group 0+ car seat that she does have, which incidently my daughter still fits in, is by a brand i have never heard of and looks really really cheap. i know the CM does need to make some money from her job, but i don't want the safety of my child compromised by using a car seat that was bought on cost rather than safety. and there can be a massive difference in some car seats and how safe they are.

OP posts:

HSMM · 05/09/2009 21:44

Ask the childminder about how much she drives, how old her seats are, what made her choose the seats she has, whether she will accept a seat from you, etc and go from there.

Feelingforty · 05/09/2009 22:23

I can completely understand your concerns - one of the reason my DD didn't go to a childminder.

Could you find someone else that doesn't have a need to use the car ? ( certainly we walk to toddler group/school pick up, library/park)

dobby2001 · 06/09/2009 00:49

Its perfectly Ok to be worried about differant things when leaving your child with any childcare. Just to reassure you, any OFSTED registered childminder who uses their car for business use, will have appropriate cover on their insureance - and it is reasonable for you to check this. OFSTED will expect the childminder to have appropriate resources for the children in their care, and this includes car seats that are the right size, correctly fitted and in good working order. The car should also be roadworthy.
I try to walk most of the time with the children i mind, but use the car on Holidays for day trips and if running late/ circumstances dictate. My car has scratches and is messy , manly due to the kids knocking bags, scooters and allsorts into it - I have 8 years no claims so i would like to think my drivings Ok?!

I would ask your CM how much car is used but it is not likely to be workable if you want to "ban" car use - what would you do in an emergency? either for you DD or other mindees? Cars have their place as part of the service you are requesting, you just need to reassure yourself all is ok

Original poster

mollynp · 06/09/2009 12:22

my question to squiby2004 is, how do you trust someone that you don't know? i think it is unreasonable not to have concerns with comeone you are leaving your baby with when you don't know them! i'm sure all parents would worry about something

OP posts:

Original poster

mollynp · 06/09/2009 17:06

my sister is lending me her maxi cosi priori that she brought back from the US, this is rear facing till 35lbs (15kg). so i'll use that in her car and won't have to shell out £200 for new one. thankyou for all of your comments even if some of them were a bit reactionary!!

OP posts:

LisaD1 · 06/09/2009 20:37

Hi,

I think you should just speak with your CM and let her know how you feel (you sound like someone who generally prefers to walk and not a car fan) and maybe she can put your mind at ease?

I am a CM, my car is fully insured for Business Use and I only use MY car seats, I have a 7 seater car and only 3 little ones (one of which is my own), each child has their own car seat (purchased by me when they started) and have all been correctly fitted. I would not take any unneccessary risks with MY children and the same applies to all my minded children. I hope you manage to have your fears put at rest by your CM.

All the best.

littleducks · 06/09/2009 20:46

what brand was the carseat you saw? might be a good/ok brand you werent aware of?

Original poster

mollynp · 07/09/2009 13:29

just spoke to essex road safety officers and they said that you shouldn't use a car seat from the US as it hasn't been tested to EU/UK standards. she also implied that perhaps the childminder could provide a rear facing car seat so as to cater for the increased demand for this type of seat from parents? what do you think? would other childminders buy a rear facing seat? or if i want that, do i have to buy it myself? she also said that she doesn't like seeing children under 4 in forward facing seats as rear facing are 5 times safer.

OP posts:

FromGirders · 07/09/2009 13:39

FWIW, I am a non-driving CM - because we're a one car family, not because I can't drive. Have prob only used the car twice in the last year.
However, we go on the bus weekly - how does the OP feel about public transport?

FromGirders · 07/09/2009 13:51

Has the OP fainted at the very idea ?

limonchik · 07/09/2009 13:52

You can always ask, but I think it's a bit much to expect the CM to shell out for a new, expensive seat when even you think it's a lot of money!

EmilyBrownlovesStanley · 07/09/2009 15:48

OP - I don't think you're unreasonable to have these concerns. Perhaps you would be happier for your child to attend a nursery, that was my preference for my DD.

Chandon · 07/09/2009 17:01

My CM took my DD around so much, she got very carsick and sometimes had to be brought home before her due time.

DD then told me she had been in the car all morning, being driven from estate agent to post office, to bank, to house of friend of CM and back via the supermarket, getting bak to CM home for lunch at 1:30 (!).

I am sure it was within the law, but I did end that contract, as I was leld to believe my DD would be playing at her home with other children and watching telly etc.

So just ask her how much she plans to take DC out and about.

Original poster

mollynp · 07/09/2009 21:29

could do. the road safety officer said that if it was her, she would just buy another set of tether straps and move the car seat between cars. it is the easiest of car seats to fit and there isn't much that you can do wrong, that would only cost about £20. the CM only has one stage one car seat and has another kid of roughly the same age, so she would have to buy another car seat anyway. but you can get forward facing car seats for as little as £60, so might not want to spend £200 on a rear facing!

OP posts:

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