Prof sleep trainer / night nanny needed for 10-month old - any recommendations or interest?

[SalLikesCoffee]

Our ds (10 months old) is waking up various times a night. This coming week is horrendous at work for both dh and myself, so I'm looking for a night nanny.

I'm now thinking I might as well combine both - so instead of someone just helping with his night wakings (which is normally solved with a pick-up / tapping / formula milk feeds), get someone who does this kind of sleep training for a living.

I know I really should have started coaching him into sleeping through anyway, but as I'm not into controlled crying at all, thought I'll just leave it to sort itself out in a couple of months. However, we can't really cope with not sleeping this coming week, so am rather desperate!

Please help!

(PS: Not sure whether this was supposed to go in sleeping, so please feel free to shout if so.)

Sal ignore it, this is a typica MN kick off thread. After a few posts you lose ownnership of a thread- this isn't about you, it's peoples personal hangups. I wuld defend you and ytour wonderful little person to the hilt, i think you are an inspiring parent.

I'm doing the feeding on demand for reasons you know well,a nd it's not something I could even contemplate if I were woeking; it just isn't. I exist in a fug. Indeed I think you've dopnw amazingly to get this far.

Hugs sal and well done- you've been fully inducted into MN .

Babies need sleep.
If a baby is waking up in the night at ten months on many occasions it's very probable that is isn't hunger.
Every baby, every child, every adult, wakes up briefly after each sleep cycle, which is around every hour or so.
We all go back to sleep after fluffing our pillows or looking at the clock. children do this too, as do babies.
Some babies from the word go learn to fall asleep on the breast, the bottle, with a dummy, being rocked, sang to, patted etc.
If this is the way they get to sleep normally, this is the way they will need to get to sleep with pretty much every waking.
If a baby spends half of their night being 'helped' back to sleep they lose a large part of their allocated 'sleeptime' and become overtired. This effects how they sleep during the day, the less a baby sleeps at night, the less they sleep during the day.
The less they sleep overall the more fatigued they get and they start to build up a type of sleep debt.
This just gets worse until something is done about it.
So, knowing all this, what do we reckon? Should Sal get up every hour or so and keep him reliant on a bottle to get back to sleep? Or should she gently teach him the ability to get back to sleep himself?
Hmm.

tough one that!

Sorry to hijack - my babe wakes after every sleep cycle sometimes - she sits up and is cross that she is sat up, or can't get comfy or whatever. I go over, check she is not smelly or cold, offer her water if breathing is dry sounding or has coughed lots (very often does not want it so not a prop) and then leave. No talking, no cuddles. All business-like, reassuring but no extra attention. I have done this for months. Some nights she wakes once, but then gradually gets worse until she is so dog tired she cannot help but sleep, and we get a couple of nights respite.

WHAT TO DO? Is she just a crappy sleeper and I have to put up with it? I don't know what else to try? I have tried CC and it doesn't make a difference to the overall pattern, though perhaps I need to persevere with it. But I don't want to not go to her when she initially cries encase she is thirsty or cold or whatever, as my understanding of CC is that you have to ensure their needs are all met first. All she seems to need is a check and a pat though - I can't do any less for her.

Thank you, guys. I don't know why I took it all so personal. I really appreciate it that, knowing me, you don't actually think I'd be horrible to R.

And for the record, to whoever said he's not an animal to be trained... Yes, I might know he's not a dog, but the way he's been chasing the cats around the room this morning, I'm not convinced he's aware of this fact.

Night went ok again, except for one episode where he was crying for ages, with nothing helping. I eventually picked him up, rocked, patted, then after about 5 minutes was greeted by the biggest, most powerful fart - was convinced it was a nappy explosion - and then he went back to sleep! What a typical boy this one turns out to be!

The animal thing- as an interesting note- the most popular 'training' method in asd and child psych circles atm is based on behaviouralist aninal training. the initial text is by a dog training xpert, and all her theorises can be used with children.

And you know what? I don't think it's an issue. We are animals and we respond to stimuli in many similar ways, specially before we have verbal reasoning skills. Add in that many dogs are better treated than cjildren and it seems to me that if a creature is loved, confident in that and has their ther needs met then you're on a winner- baby or animal.

That's really interesting, Peachy. I didn't know that, but it makes sense if you think about it. I think I'll read up on that, sounds rather interesting.

I have a friend that has taken her dog to (and have gone on the course herself to understand) dog training, and I've always been amazed how her little boy, who is only 1 month older than R), completely understands and listens to the "straight commands" (I'll probably be jumped on again for this, but I mean command as in a very definite action) for something dangerous that she learned there. E.g. when he comes close to something that could hurt him, she can say "no" in a very slow, relaxed but somehow direct tone (never, ever raised voice or louder than normal - that makes it worse apparently), and he'd leave it and turn away, completely fine with it. This is a very happy, confident boy btw. I think there is something safe in rules - should probably try in more myself, actually.

this is the text a revered SALT (moondof on here LOL) recomends.

I'm a bugger for faffing about deep sensibilities and missing the power of the absolute guideline and set responses. I think I might order it next week actually.

Thanks for the link, Peachy. I've just read an excerpt of that book, it looks really good. Am going to add it to my next Amazon shop.

I meant to come back last night and apologise for saying I found the thread sad. I did find it sad but why I felt the need to tell you I don't know Anyway, sorry for causing offence.

It's ok. I was tired after a rough day and probably a bit over sensitive yesterday anyway. Thanks for posting again.

FWIW I didn' mean to imply that you or anyone else here was a bad or uncaring parent. I would explain what I found sad but it might cause more upset and it really doesn't matter so sorry again, and thanks for being so gracious

sal - we ALL need to fart every now and again

glad he had a cuddle in middle of night

cc isnt about not ever picking up the child,but more about not dashing in at 1st cry and picking up, feeding etc immeditley but to find other ways to comfort and get back to sleep

you are doing everything right xxx

little R is being very good tonight

he had a little cry earlier but because he is a bit grumbley we had a cuddle and a little chat (love it when you say that blondes hehe) and he is having a nice sleep now - he promises he'll be a good boy for the rest of the night

Well, I am a teacher so know a few tricks and strategies. I do see where the dog thing comes from (am big fan of positive instruction myself) but still a bit

FWIW I am sorry if I caused offense too. I just wanted to remind you that children are not robots and will still wake occasionally for teething/ill/nightmares/random reasons despite all your brilliant 'training' efforts and not to feel bad because of it. Of course, there is nothing wrong is trying to encourage your baby into better sleep habits - gosh, that's what we are all trying to do, isn't it?

Like ProvincialLady, yes, the thread made me a bit sad, but possibly I could have kept it to myself... was feeling a bit low, and defensive too. Missed where it all turned nasty though?

Anyway, here's to a good night's sleep, and happy, healthy babies

morning all

just wanted to let you know that we're still making progress here.

my LO slept 10pm to 2.45am, and then after about 30 mins of shushing and patting from his dad, slept again until 7am.

(a big improvement on the previous night, where we were up nearly 2 hours with lots of cuddles. and guess what, a little tooth popped out yesterday morning, so that explains that )

this is the best night's sleep we've all had in about 6 months. i know teething/illness etc will affect our nights as we go forward, but it's such a relief to know that we can deal with that without feeding back to sleep every two hours every single night.

thanks again to those (blondes & wwwow) who gave me advice and support earlier in the week. it really helped. sal, i'm glad you're feeling better about the thread now. fwiw your story, and your measured approach to things really helped me to think about what i was doing and i think you sound like the best mum ever

Waytoomuchchocolate, what a kind thing to say, thank you very much!

Brilliant news on your side too, and congrats on that little tooth!

Am with you in that I don't care whether or not he sleeps every night - hell, secretly I probably like a difficult night every now and then - kind of feels like he's still my tiny baby and not the little boy he's rapidly turning into! It is great to know that, when he is not ill / teething / feeling a little needy, he could sleep without my assistance for most of the night, though.

glad all is going well for you both

yes children will sometimes wake up due to teeth/illness etc ( and thats when i have a little chat in my 7mths ear ) but the topic of this thread was to stop the babies waking up every night for feeding - for those who had got into a bad habbit

so glad that i was able to help - think of the money you have saved by doing it yourself and not hiring me