Prof sleep trainer / night nanny needed for 10-month old - any recommendations or interest?

[SalLikesCoffee]

Our ds (10 months old) is waking up various times a night. This coming week is horrendous at work for both dh and myself, so I'm looking for a night nanny.

I'm now thinking I might as well combine both - so instead of someone just helping with his night wakings (which is normally solved with a pick-up / tapping / formula milk feeds), get someone who does this kind of sleep training for a living.

I know I really should have started coaching him into sleeping through anyway, but as I'm not into controlled crying at all, thought I'll just leave it to sort itself out in a couple of months. However, we can't really cope with not sleeping this coming week, so am rather desperate!

Please help!

(PS: Not sure whether this was supposed to go in sleeping, so please feel free to shout if so.)

hi waytoomuchchocolate -

obviously my very knowledgeable friend blondes has given you all the information you need but I would have said the same if it helps!

don't suppose you live in london and want a couple of nights of night nannying help do you

there I go again, touting for business on mumsnet hehe

welcome wwow blonde does have superior knowledge

hi again

i do live in london wwww and i might do if i get desparate and am too much of a wimp to do this myself how do i get hold of you if i do?!

blondes, to give you an idea, last night was fairly typical

6.30pm feed & bath, 7pm bed, straight to sleep
10pm ds wakes screaming for milk - dh usually gives this in a bottle (this used to be a dreamfeed nearer 11pm in the good old days of 8 weeks old now he never makes it past 10pm and always wakes screaming
12.30am moaning noises and waking up sounds, i put dummy in, straight back to sleep
2am more waking up sounds, louder this time, and eyes wide open when i go in, so feed (not a massive feed, but is feeding)
4am see 2am (but not much feeding going on this time tbh)
6am, moaning noises which i manage to ignore for 5 (?) mins and he goes back to sleep
7.40am he wakes up properly and i feed - unsurprisingly he is not hungry!

tbh, i see cc as the most effective way to get us all sleeping better, and i know i don't have the patience for all the other methods. also not convinced any of them are much 'kinder'. and they seem to take longer which is worse on all of us i think. each to their own i say.

do you recommend going in at regular intervals, getting longer each time? tell me if i'm being cheeky here, since i know you usually charge for these services

I am dashing out to an interview so I will leave you in the experienced hands of blondes

but I can be contacted on westlondonnanny [at] googlemail [dot] com

good luck with everything thou, hopefully speak to you soon!

yes you are being cheeky but i will let it slide

i would cut out the early am feeds, and still give dream feed, thou might be hard to cut out both so wean off one then the other

yes he will scream and have a right paddy, as he is used to getting the feed, but IF you want him to stop feeding you *HAVE8 to do it

is it possible to do last night feed, ie 7pm as a bottle so you know excalty how much he has, or express and then top up with formula - you really want a good 7/8oz down their little tummies

Hey, waytoomuchchocolate!

Well, the sleep training's going well - he only woke up twice last night and only cried for about 5 to 10 minutes (if that much) each time, so nothing major.

I am now a bit confused as to what I should do tonight, as ds has a really rubbish cold, and I don't want to leave him crying if he doesn't feel well. Fair enough normally, but if you don't feel well a cuddle is needed, I think. I definitely won't give him milk during the night though - it makes his chest a bit worse anyway.

For what it's worth, if anyone's reading, I wouldn't necessarily suggest weaning for sleeping problems. (No disrespect meant, Blondes, I appreciate your help so much - more kind of information from my experience in case anyone else is reading.) It made absolutely no difference to his sleeping (or lack thereof) when we started weaning. Whilst I don't necessarily think the 6months is a hard and fast rule, if done too early it could lead to other problems. And as the mother of a (temporarily, luckily) lactose and soya intolerant baby (damn antibiotics, but at least improving now), it's not a risk to take easily. It could lead to years of problems for one or two easier months. Hope this doesn't come across wrong, but I just felt I had to say that - early might be 3 weeks before 6 months for one person, whereas someone else might start when baby's 6 weeks old!) Anyway.

hi sal!

that sounds as though it's going great - well done! tricky one with the cold now, poor thing, but it seems as though not feeding is key, so a cuddle or two should be fine surely

thanks for your thoughts on early weaning. i kind of knew it wouldn't make much difference because he's always woken a lot at night and i didn't think it could be so easy as he'd have one mouthful of apple puree and suddenly sleep through - more's the pity! we're going very slowly with it, and i've mainly started it because he seemed so interested in food (oh ok, if i'm honest, a bit in case it helped with sleeping too...but i know that doesn't always mean they're ready - ah gosh, i go round in circles with what i'm doing sometimes!

blondes - thanks for your message, i really appreciate your help. yes, i can try a bottle for the 7pm feed as well as the 10pm one which will help with knowing he's had plenty. at 10pm he usually has about 6 or 7oz...

here goes...

ps www, thanks for the contact email, will keep it very handy

Good luck with the sleep training to you too! Like Blondes and WickedWitchOfWestfield said - it does get easier. I still hate hearing him cry. My little baby and all that

i agree sal - early weaning isnt good - but for some babies they are waking and drinking milk at night,as they arent having enough food during the day - but i wouldnt always advise weaning iykwim

sal - replied to email - hope ds is feeling better soon

chocolate - hope tonight goes well, cut out one of the feeds, if not 2

cc is hard, but it does get results xx

Got your email. Thank you very much. Times like these when MN doesn't just feel like some anonymous website, but rather a friend you're just not seeing at this moment. [soppy emoticon]

awwww - know what you mean sal xx

www.mybabymatters.co.uk helped me

no prob wtmc - feel free to email, I'm also available for ad hoc babysitting, temp or proxy parenting too

whereabouts in london are you btw?

good luck with the sleep routine, we'll be rooting for ya I'm sure you'll do great!

oh, you were all so supportive and now i feel even more rubbish because i was sooooo totally rubbish

it all went wrong when he decided to wake at midnight - he knew something was up and so i was so tired by the time it came to the screaming part blah blah blah... anyway, suffice to say i didn't manage it and won't even tell you how many times i did actually end up resorting to feeding

and so guess what? he's been happily lying in his cot for the last hour and a half not remotely hungry, and still no demanding to be fed at 9AM!!!!! it's all the motivation i need to know i just need to do it, it really is.

SO, plan of action:

1. dh on board to do it with me from thursday night
2. tell neighbours downstairs so i don't feel so bad about the noise
3. make sure he has proper naps & therefore feeds at lunchtime (don't think this helped last night as he hadn't really done either yesterday)
4. syke myself up to be stronger

hope you had a better night sal.

www am in twickenham

XX

oh bless you wtmc - I know it can be hard, its the guilt of hearing your baby cry that gets every parent, so you are not alone - also the worry that other people will hear your baby cry - DON'T PANIC!!

babies cry, it is fact of life and an important stage of their development - the only way they can communicate with us is this way, so to voice their disdain at you having the audacity to want both you+them to have a good nights sleep, they give it all they've got - you're not a bad parent and nobody will think any less of you!

I think your plan of action sounds great, when you have a clear idea in your mind and somebody else on board it definitely helps.
(I think number 3 is a winner )

please do feel free to email me, or if you feel you would like to know a little bit more about me first, I have a shiny new website here

it will only get better from here - good luck!!

Oh don't worry, waytoomuchchocolate, they're still babies, and there is no reason why this needs to be sorted in a day. Poor little mites (I'm such a softy! )

Makes more sense to do it over the weekend anyway.

My night wasn't too bad. I went in to comfort him etc, but no feeds. Not that I think the cuddling made much difference, but at least he wasn't in agony on his own. His chest is very tight today. Am hoping it won't turn into Bronchiolitis again, which is what he had about a month ago.

nevermind wtmc - lots of parents are the same as you (its not a bad thing) you just dont want to hear your baby crying - doesnt make you a bad parent - so please dont think that

it is hard in the middle of the night when you hear your child cry, and you dont give him the one thing you know which will stop the tears and distress

and thats why parents employ me as they know they want to stop night feeds, but they cant do it on their own and need support

def get dh on board, do try and get a proper day routine(thou he has been ill) sorted and nights will be easier

if you want any more info on day routines then cat me your email address if you dont want to leave it on a public board and I will email you a routine that I have used and always had sucess from

hello again all

thanks for not making me feel like a total failure www, love your website.

has been a long day, as think ds is now teething just to add to his troubles poor thing. but he did have a two hour nap thanks to a long walk, and he did feed well afterwards. and we went swimming this afternoon so hopefully he is tired and will sleep well

blondes i think i might have just sent you my email via CAT but it disappeared from the screen a bit quick so let me know if you don't get anything! a tried and tested routine would be great. i think i may need to be a little bit stricter with such things

good luck again tonight sal.

XX

hi

nothing as yet, but i have found that cat takes a while and isnt instant,as you have to wait for mnhq to check it out

hi sal and wtmc - how it go last night?

morning!

it went well, although not really down to me! he woke a few times between 10.30pm and 4.30am but always got back to sleep with either just a pat on the back, or by himself after a few minutes of moaning. this is just luck!

i did feed at 4.30am as i'm planning to start from tonight, but only a little, and he went on through to 7am and has fed well all day today so far.

so at least we're all quite well rested for tonight, which i know will be very different

sal, how about you?

XX

glad went well

well done

the fact that your child didnt get fed and went back to sleep with pats etc, should prove that he can do it and that he is waking up and the extra feeds are routine and habbit

keep up the god work

Hi guys!

Way to go, waytoomuchchoc! Brilliant news.

Here sleeping's going really well, thanks for asking. The joke is that we're probably just as tired or worse than before - we're reckoning it's our bodies catching up with months of sleep, hehe.

I worked really late tonight and shattered, so off to bed now. Hoping you've got a long and quiet one too, waytoomuchc.

Oh, btw, Blondes, how is your lo's teething?

WickedwitchofWestf (pick a shorter name! ;) ), can't wait till Sat night. Am going to sleep like a, well, baby!

sal - wwow is easier - esp CANT use www

fab all is going well - teething is fine, apart from that one night of 4am - and i said we had a little chat she has been fine and slept 12/13hrs each night

hello, can i ask a question?
when you sleep-train a baby (which is not feed them but get them to sleep another way, is that right)? do they then NOT wake up the next night? What do you do if they do wake up?

Am slightly confused by the sleep-training business. Everyone I know has waking toddlers (some more than most - ie me ) regardless of what they did...