Unsocial hours and childminders...

[solo]

I've never employed a CM before but if I'm forced to return to work at the end of January I will need to.
I've looked at some CM's details online just to get an idea about them really, but there have been none at all that mention unsocial hours. My working hours mean that I would need to drop my Dc's off at 05:45 and not collect until around 8pm. Ds is of school age(10)and could probably walk himself to and from school so not so many hours in CM's care for him, but Dd would be all the time as she would only be 2 years old. I also will be working every other weekend, so for example over 2 weeks, I might work M,T,W, off Th&Fr, work SAT,SUN,MON, off Tues/Weds, work Thurs/Fri, off Sat/Sun...
I wouldn't know what to expect with regard to cost either. Can anyone shed some light on this for me please?
Sorry, I hope that all makes sense.

Solo, have you spoken to the Council yet? I must admit, that I don't know of any minders in your area that would do shifts like that. I used to mind a child who's mum was a nurse at QM Hospital. She used to drop off a 6am, but her mum would collect after school. I know you've said your parents can't manage whole days, but could they maybe do the after school bit, until you get home?

Phone and actually speak to the Council though. They may be able to offer you some good advise or direct you to the minders that will consider your needs. Phone and ask for the Childrens Information Service, its the usual Bexley Council phone number.

Hi Maureen. Thanks for your advice.
Unfortunately, Mum doesn't drive so couldn't do the school run for me and it'd take forever and several buses each way to go by bus. Dad is terminal too, so she's really got her hands full even if she did drive.
I really can't ask them for help at all...
I may ring the Council and ask them, but I think the best way forward right now is to ask for more time off.

I was talking to Ds(10)last night and he has said that he wants me to be at home for him and Dd even though he knows he'll have to make sacrifices. That kind of spoke volumes to be honest. ^

Peaceandlove. Thank you.
I don't think I'd be comfortable with overnighters tbh...
Asking on Gumtree...is this a safe thing to do?

Aw. Out of the mouths of babes, eh? You don't sound like you're well enough to go back to work, tbh. Hope that doesn't sound rude, but you sound awfully low.

Could you maybe mention your health in a letter to work? I may be totally off the track here and I'm sorry if I'm talking out of turn, but is that an option, to buy you some more time?

Well, I could, but they could also use that against me as they could say(and can by law)that they don't have a place for me to return to, so I have to be very careful, don't want to shoot myself in the foot.

You are right in as much as I am not great healthwise. I am so terribly tired and in lots of pain(ME)and yes, life has dealt me a few big blows this month, let alone other things throughout the last year or two...actually, make that the last 25 years!
I think it would be beneficial to have more time away from work, it is a very stressful job, but the thought of not having that job to go back to fills me with fear, dread and many other negative emotions. I think possibly because I've fought very hard to stay in the job throughout the bad times with my health, plus! I'm bloody good at the job!

I was a registered childminder till recently and advertised that I was happy to work unsocial hours .It was okay for me perhaps as a single parent .I started at 6am sometimes and worked at weekends and so on.It depends on the childminders in your area perhaps you could use two childminders .I had a child for awhile who also had another childminder it worked okay

Another option Marney, thank you.

Sorry !! just seen where you talk about your children wanting you at home and your illness you sound really unlucky .They grow up so fast Im a single parent my child has not had half the things other children have had but at nearly 16 she has never complained is doing well at school and we get on really well'If icould have worked more hours and earned more I wouldnt change it .Even now she likes me being around I am lucky i know my child .Hope you can get more manageable hours you need some rest as well

That's lovely of you Marney, thank you.

I don't move in CM circles much anymore, but I will listen out for you. I am in your area, as you know. I take it you work in Woolwich, right?

No, North London.

And thank you.

hi, i've just caught this thread, you seem to be in a really hard position. i'm a newly registered childminder, unfourtunatly i dont live in your area, but i would be willing to do what your looking for, try asking newly registered childminders, who want to get their first mindees and a name for themselves. i really hope you find a solution soon and your work allow you more time off. good luck

Have you thought about trying to find a CM near where you work? If you have to travel, then maybe you could just pop your child into the car and they could sleep a bit longer on the way to a CM. That way the hours wouldn't be as long.

Just a thought .

Your other alternative is a nanny who already has a child, and therefore has cheaper rates. A single mum nanny probably wouldn't have a problem with this - (so their costs are lower), finding one will take time.

I travel to work by motorbike, so that wouldn't work. Going by car would double my travel time from 3 hours a day to 6! not to mention the cost
Thanks for the thought though.

Solo - you are in a difficult position. If you do take the time off until your youngest is school age, you could consider using that time to upgrade your training. Perhaps some of the courses you haven't been able to attend up until now? You might qualify for some single parent grants to help you study.

On a different note, what about taking up something in the interim? If you genuinely enjoy being with children, how about becoming a nanny? If you have gone through all of the checks and have the patience of being a prison officer, I'll bet you will breeze through the checks required to become an Ofsted checked nanny (although to be a nanny you wouldn't require this - some parents may prefer it).

That way you could keep your child with you!

I know that you said that you don't feel up to studying because you can't retain anything, but a lot of that would surely be the stress that you are under. If you make a plan, then the stress would reduce.

Hi MadMarg and thank you for your idea. Unfortunately, I'm caught in a situation again. As I am technically still employed, I am not permitted to work elsewhere, I'd have to resign. I did ask at the job centre when I first went to see about benefits etc about studying or retraining and I'm not allowed to do it ~ a)because I'm employed and b)because I'd have to lose my current benefits if I was not employed already(iyswim). Once again, I'm in a no win situation.

Goodness! it does sound like I'm constantly putting obstacles in my path doesn't it? I think the system as it is is quite obstructive to some of us that might like to retrain whilst taking a break to bring up our children. There is no easy answer.

Sometimes the system really just doesn't work.

Could you do any distance learning? Perhaps an undergraduate or postgraduate degree? It probably wouldn't be 'directly' related to your work, but you could choose subjects that would help you, such as sociology, criminology, etc.

Something like this, for example:

www.londonexternal.ac.uk/prospective_students/undergraduate/lse/sociology_law/index.shtml

Not a 'cheap' option, but spread over a few years its certainly doable. It might sound scary, but a degree like this is certainly doable.

Jesus, Solo, I just read this, and I honestly don't know how you are going to resolve your situation, but I do think you are a bloody heroine - good luck to you with everything.

MadMarg, I really struggle financially and am dreading everything that is an 'extra', like heating or Christmas, so paying out for studying for a qualification is I'm sorry to say, totally not doable. Need a sugar daddy...

Fossa! thanks sweetie! never been called that before.
All good luck wishes gratefully received!

Hi hun you asked is Gumtree safe..
I think its more a case of just going about things the same as you would any site, anyone can join here for example and pretend to be a childminder, same as a lot of parent forum, related sites.. As long as you checked Registration certificates, Insurance, Refrences, Even with Ofsted you should be okay.

I used to do 6am starts and finish at 9pm

I had mindee 1 who came at 6am to 4pm and mindee 2 who came from 9am to 9pm, so extra long day for me, but i made it work.. So i would not say its impossible.

What was your thoughts on maybe getting a nanny?

Can't afford a nanny and have no room for one either...Good to know that there are CM's willing to work long days though. Thank you!

Solo, they are usually cheaper than childminders aren't they? Also you could get a live out one.. But Good Luck whatever you decide

Thanks PeaceNLove.