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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

I am apalled at our AP - she let DS poo in the park

123 replies

OneLieIn · 11/09/2008 17:08

I have not posted this under AIBU because I know I am not. DS is 5 and more than capable of holding it in.

What do you think of this? This is a park as in with fields and trees, not swings and slides. He wiped his bum on a leaf!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Kathyis6incheshigh · 11/09/2008 20:53

PMSL.
I just want to know how rural the park was. Surely the answer in future is to send your au pair out with a trowel.

imananny · 11/09/2008 20:59

tbh i really dont see the big deal

the child had to go,he would have been more traumatised if he pooed his pants

yes AP should have cleared it up with tissue etc but we dont all have tissues/baby wipes/spare bags with us at all times,unless have a small baby

if a child needs to go,he needs to go - I once pooed in the woods, was about 9 and walking with my mum and DESPERATE - i pooed behind a tree

it happens

Reallytired · 11/09/2008 21:13

"ehm, and what would a qualified nanny do?? "

My guess is that a qualified nanny would know to pre empt emergency toilet visits. Ie. They would make sure that the five year old uses the loo before going to the park.

An au pair like many mothers are learning on the job. I made loads of mistakes as a mother.

nannyL · 11/09/2008 21:21

botherednanny....

so you are in a park.... 5 mins walk (max) from the loos...

5 year old says 'i need a poo'.... would you REALLY say 'ok go behind that tree right now' OR 'say ok and walk the short walk (along 2 short paths) straight to the toilet?'

botherednanny · 11/09/2008 21:52

"but as far as i was concerned he was 5 years old and i made him wait for the toilet and he did... then told him that he was old enough to ask eariler"

you made it sound like a bit of a threat nannL - thats all I meant...

a lot can happen in 5 minutes, think how mean you would have felt if he had of been so desperate he pooed his pants!

Simplyme · 11/09/2008 21:55

Your poor au-pair! She did what she thought was best. Ok it might not have been what you have done but she tried. I agree that not picking it up or burying it is yucky the same as with dog poo!!

When you are looking after other peoples children it is different than your own - you are less casual and worry because it is not your child. If it is your own child you know wether they can hold or not and can tell them to - but someone elses you are more likely to let them go if they say they have to.

IMO this is a lot of fuss over nothing - she made a decision different from what you might have done - end of. The child is not hurt, you are not hurt etc so what's the big deal?

imananny · 11/09/2008 21:56

My guess is that a qualified nanny would know to pre empt emergency toilet visits. Ie. They would make sure that the five year old uses the loo before going to the park.

very true, whenever we go out, i always tell charges to go to the toilet, even if they dont want to go,i say have a try - its amazing what can be squeezed out

Quattrocento · 11/09/2008 21:57

I'm more appalled by your spelling than your AP letting your little boy poo. Always supposing that the poo was collected.

nannyL · 11/09/2008 21:58

ok... that wasnt excatly what i eman by that...

ultimatley we were 5 mins MAX walk from a toilet so we went to loo straight away (didnt 'hang around feeding ducks etc)

i the actual situation it would have been nad to do anything but go to tje toilets that were 2 paths away...

yes i would have go the potty out for his 2 year old brother who was in week 4 of potty training, but 5 year old brother is old enough to go to the loo that WAS actually there.

there was no 'threat'.... we just went to the toilet straight away

QuintessentialShadow · 11/09/2008 22:02

Oh dont be so stuck up. Boy needs to poo, so he poos, rather than having his intestines burst off into pants.

If Au Pair is scandinavian, this is not really unheard of. We learn from an early age how to poo in the wild. There are other ways to clean up poo than to take it with you, like finding a big rock and put on top, and let nature take care of it in natures own due course.

SunshineSmith · 11/09/2008 22:09

a few years ago, after a dodgy fish meal... i had a poo in the middle of Pimlico .... i couldn't hold it... my husband was just petrified when he saw doing it... it was 22.30 at night... i just tried to hid it... Sometimes you cannot hold it!

jurahasfoundthehiggsboson · 11/09/2008 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessentialShadow · 11/09/2008 22:20

OH NO! Not after the midget incident....

MNHQ will think there is some weirdy theme going on....

edam · 11/09/2008 22:36

ds (5) pooed in the park not that long ago. I didn't have any say in the matter, I was under the impression he was doing a wee. Gross. I picked it up in manky old tissue I discovered at the bottom of my bag and put it in a bin.

Holding it in is v. bad for one, btw, and not to be encouraged. Ask the Bladder and Bowel Federation if you don't believe me.

QuintessentialShadow · 11/09/2008 22:38

That is really when a Handbag Hadron Colliderr would come in really useful - to deal with spontaneous bowel emptying.

solidgoldbrass · 11/09/2008 22:45

There is a book called HOw to SHit IN The Woods (honest - my brother, a keen hiker, has a copy).
Perhaps someone should buy the OP a copy. Or perhaps she could buy her AP one.

QuintessentialShadow · 11/09/2008 22:48

If you google "how to shit in the woods" you get a few good book reviews, but also a result from Youtube.....

I am not clicking....

Ebb · 11/09/2008 23:38

I would let my charge poo if needed ( and I'm highly qualified / experienced nanny ) - much better than cleaning pooey pants. Obviously if I could get him to a loo I would!

Mum boss took her Ds to the local arboretum and he needed a poo so she duely took him behind a bush and also had to use leaves to clean him up. Did she clean up the poo? No - the revolting labrador got there first ....

BradfordMum · 12/09/2008 07:15

Imagine this in another thread -

''My AP made my son poo in his pants''

What would you prefer?!

FourArms · 12/09/2008 07:29

Would have had absolutely no problem with the pooing in the park. If I had had two bags with me (think you said she did for leaf collecting), I would have picked it up. However, dealing with your own poo, or that of your offspring, is quite different to dealing with anybody elses, so I can see why she might not have picked it up. In future I would say fine, he can do it, but it must be picked up.

Luckily we've never yet had this issue, but I have a friend whose DS regularly needs a poo there and then, and does it somewhere discreet nearby.

CapricaSix · 12/09/2008 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nannynick · 12/09/2008 08:49

Test your knowledge about Doing A Wild Poo with this interactive game.
You will learn things like:-
"Toilet Paper: No don't use forest creatures. You're right, they're soft and probably absorbent but they might bite."

All new AP's are recommended to take this test, then post their score on their AuPair World profile

annh · 12/09/2008 10:10

Trust Nannynick to come to the rescue with an informative and applicable link! Hee, hee!

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