I am apalled at our AP - she let DS poo in the park

[OneLieIn]

I have not posted this under AIBU because I know I am not. DS is 5 and more than capable of holding it in.

What do you think of this? This is a park as in with fields and trees, not swings and slides. He wiped his bum on a leaf!

Maybe the sort of person who can afford an Au Pair is the sort of person who has higher standards -- than me, anyway.

i would, because i don;t know many five year olds who would poo in semi public unless they really ,really have to

not cleaning up is definitely not on though.

Oh do me a favour lljkk

Standards have nothing to do with affording an AP.

Agree mmj

Oh and

i thikn wrt standards, which is a bit of a red herring, that pooing in the undergrowth is better than a 5 year old having the humiliation of pooing in there pants , which would be a lot more distressing than pooing in the grass.

is he just five or nearer to 6 ?

Your son probably would have been extreely upset at pooing his pants, and then deeply uncomfortable in walking/sitting in it until he got home - how far was the park to home?

I think AP did what any person would do if confronted by a 5year old desperate for the toilet.

How long has the AP known your DS?

In my youth, faced with a small child I hadn't known for a considerable time demanding a poo, I probably would have done the same thing.

She is an AP - not a Norlander

mmj, so you just say 'oh that's Ok then'??

DS needs to understand that that isn't on otherwise knowing him he will be asking to poo every single time we go to the park (DS is truly ingenious like that). I know DS and I know he can and has held it in the past.

he is v. nearly 6, has been at school for a year already.

Park is 10 mins tops from home

I find it wierd that you are so irate about this. Youll give the poor lad issues.

he clearly could not hold it for 10 minutes

totally agree with TMMJ

if he is already at school, i guarantee he would only poo in those circumstances if he absolutely had to

i think your AP did the righ thting, and was right not to let him poo in his pants and walk home all full of poo

Why do you doubt that he couldn't keep it in? I can't imagine he would want to poo in the park for fun.

So, you've skelped the AP - but looks like everyone else thinks she did the right thing (bar the non-scooping of the poop), she is now thinking you a crazy lady

I have taught my own to hold it in!

In desperation I would have no worries about letting them poo in the park. If i was with only one child, I would probably sugest going home, but if I was with 3 and we'd just got there, the bushes would seem an attractive option.

The loos in our "town park" are so hideous I would be horified if my Ap (not that I have one) took my DC's in there, and would ask her to use the bushes in future. I certainly uses the bushes rather than those loos when a wee is needed (by my DC's)

Of course your son won't want to poo in the park every time he goes

Maybe you should hire a nanny they obviously wouldn't let your child poo in the park

lol lljkk
i (or rather, dp) can afford an AP and i have v low standards indeed

my kids are pretty feral tbh...

m
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I haven't skelped the AP, I just said 'yuk' and left it at that.I asked DS to go and wash his hands straight away.

I haven't made DS feel like a pariah. I just asked about it and said 'we don't do that' and if you need the loo, you need to say so earlier or try and hold it. If DS really needed the loo (he said he did), I think she did OK possibly.

Not cleaning it up is simply disgusting though. I will give AP a break on this, but she should have cleaned it up.

I do have a thing about this, because I think that you need to teach kids right right from the beginning. I don't think grown men should be urinating in public either but that doesn't make me a loon either.

oneliein, is he your only child? i think its rough parenting just one; you feel obligated to maintain such high standards. utterly overrun yourself with 3 in 2.5 yrs however, and all that goes right out the window and youre just pleased to end a day with everyone alive and vaguely healthy

[attempt at flippant rather than patronising there btw - footnote is just in case that wasnt clear]

How experienced is the ap?
There's nothing to strike fear of god into you like a child announcing they need a poo when a loo is not seconds away - my dd1 announced it on the way home from nursery yesterday and I dragged her back as fast as I could
But she is my dd and I was gambling on the fact she could hold on that distance, if she wasn't mine I'd be a lot less sure
Give the poor girl the benefit of the doubt and say to your ds gosh you must have needed a poo really badly. Unless he tells you he didn't and just fancied pooing in a bush I think you needn't worry