New Au Pair expects to go to language class every day -

[starbucksaholic]

Am I being unreasonable to say 'no way, once a week' - au pair now in tears (for second time in 2 days since she arrived) about this, not sure how much to stand my ground. Help?!

Oooo. It's not just me, then. Agency = unsuitable AP every time.

My stats are: 2 agency AP's: both had to leave. One had faked her driving licence and refs (which had all been fully 'vetted' by agency) the other one was told she would be working in a city (um, not the fruit farm we clearly detailed to agency, then). 2 AP's hired via internet sites, with no broker involved to find out just how clever and aspirational the AP was: one a blinding sucess (has flown back from Sweden 3 times to visit since she left), other one only just started but looking ok. I don't personally know anyone who uses an agency.

And my Swedish AP came over to experience new culture, new life; her English was flawless anyway so no language classes (but 2nd AP wants them so is set up for them now, having done her ESOL assessment which as was pointed out cannot be done until they arrive). I tend to find that most AP's come over because they can't work out what to do with their lives, and aren't able to be bankrolled by their parents for a gap year - the learning English bit is usually way down their list or priorities (not that this means a family can in any way ignore their right to attend classes as they wish within reason). Totally irrelevent if they are uni material or not, I'm kinda happy if they are fun for my kids to be with. Last time I checked you didn't need to be Einstein to play footie in the garden.

I agree Squiffy. Both my APs so far have not been interested in learning English because their English is so good.

My first AP took a Higher qualification instead and the second is taking classes in Spanish and French - she is aiming to study translation at university.

I was an AP all those years ago living in Chiswick. Before summer I went to college in the mornings (every day for 1 hour), no classes during summer and after the summer I had classes in the afternoon. I had to finance the classes myself but had some weekly pocket money. Duties were playing with the kids, going to playgroup or picking the older child up from nursery, going to the park, usually one weekend night babysitting and the following morning, too. Some light housework: meaning keeping the house clean, ironing, sometimes cooking for the children. Really it was "helping" mum. In return I was taken (obviously "working") to Ireland, Scotland and Wales and loved it!!! I think getting the right AP is a question of luck, good conversation and not expecting that you are going to have a FT live-in cleaner and nanny. If the chemistry isn't there it's going to be difficult. After all you trust her with your children.