Would you make an au pair pay?

[gooseegg]

If your au pair had had her purse stolen with her front door key in it would you insist on her paying the full price, half price or have no need to contribute at all financially to the cost of a replacement front door lock and new keys?

The au pair was out with friends in a nightclub - so drunk that she was an easy target.

The purse was later discovered in a car park by security guards with (thankfully) all her debit cards and her passport still inside. But our front door key and her mobile phone were missing.

In the purse she had left a document (a money transfet form) with our address on - which also wasn't taken, but which may have been read and have now provided a thief with our address and the means to break in easily.

The lock will need to be changed tomorrow, and dh and I have a difference of opinion on who should pay for it.

Anyone who goes out and makes themselves incapable is laying themselves open to being the victim of a crime. That's not the same as saying that the PERPETRATOR of the crime is less blameworthy.

Lay off the OP!

gooseeggs you have taken an unpleasant event eg theft and somehow twisted into she asked for it and then the suggestion that women ask/invite sexual asault by ingesting alcohol

abhorrent disgraceful comments

you need to have a re-evaluation of your skewed morals

Nobody has said that it does make it OK. This blamefest is ridiculous.

Lay of!?i haven't flipping got started on this one.we aren't talking some wee grammatical error getting derided. i am incandescent that someone can suggest alcohol+woman = OK to sexually assault

so actually nope wont lay off

i do hope this does get the pelter's it deserves

is it me

?
?
?
i can't find mention of sexual assault

Nighby, the op said very clearly that the victim of rape is 'partly responsible'. Actually, no they are in no way responsble for a vicious act of violence. It is these complicit views that you clearly share with the op that result in a very low conviction rate for rapists. Think carefully before you jump to the defence of someone who is, charitably, very misguided.

Anyone who goes outside their front door lays themselves open to being a victim of crime Nighbynight.

Custardo

By gooseegg on Sun 13-Jul-08 10:55:22
6th para of that post

Gooseegg said "In the same way as I would describe someone who deliberately drives when drunk to be responsible for causing an accident, and yes in the same way as would describe a drunk woman to be 'partly' responsible for being sexually assaulted".

so gooseeggs what attribution of blame do you suggest?

oh yes

sorry lady you've shit it you silly girl

Drink-driver = entirely to blame for their actions.

Drunk woman who is sexually assaulted = someone who has made themselves vulnerable but is in no way to blame for the act of an aggressor.

Drunk au-pair who has handbag stolen = someone who has made themselves vulnerable (and was silly to have address, keys and passport all together on a night out) but is in no way to blame for the act of an aggressor.

Yes, lots of the people murdured by the Nazi's were to blame for not being the right religion, for not having the right look. They were partly to blame for what happened to them.

(note heavy sarcasm)

Laying responsibility on the victim for making themselves artificially incapable, does not reduce the blame on the perpetrator.

I wouldnt want an au pair who went out, got smashed and lost my stuff as a result. I blame her for being irresponsible.

I don't expect the court to give the thief a lesser sentence, because his victim was drunk.

A lot of people don't seem to have this clear in their heads - they think that if the victim has a responsibility, then somehow the blame on the perpetrator is reduced. It isn't.

points lost for being the first person to mention Nazis

doorkey......>>> to nazis

wow

its a waxing gibbious moon

Most of us don't think the victim of sexual assault is in any way responsible for their attack.

some people can bring nazis into any discussion

It's called Godwin?s Law, Elf.

Ooh, sorry meant to add a for Elf there.

I fail to see how a woman can be held "partly" responsible if she is sexually assulted.

Being drunk does not give the right for somebody to rape them.

It feeds the crap myth that people should not report being raped because they were drunk so "partly to blame".

We have a shocking conviction rate for rape, and this kind of attitude does not help.

I lost the front door key for my place of work the union rep informed me that work couldn't force me to pay for a replacment lock and 10 keys (10 other keys for other staff)

I hadn't delibratley set out to lose the key was given a warning

I apologise for the Godwin's law, I could have drawn several examples.
This subject is a little sensitive to me at the moment given that my SIL has just been "assulted".
But she was partly to blame for being out drinking with friends and having her drink spiked, she should have been more careful, obviously.