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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

How is it fair?

181 replies

princessfiona · 03/02/2005 10:14

How is it fair?

  1. To expect someone to work for 10-12 hours a day looking after your children for so little money?

  2. Would you do it for so little money?

  3. Even if they come from a country not as wealthy as UK or USA etc.

  4. Do you think they should have a pay increase?

  5. I know that it is allowed legally to pay under the minimum wage but does it mean that looking after your children is worth so little?

  6. If your daughter went to another country would you want them to be treated in the same way and paid the same?

  7. How much time off do they have? Whole weekends without babysitting?

OP posts:
moondog · 03/02/2005 15:16

'you may want to tread a bit more carefully in future...'

!!!!!!

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:17

Why does it have to be an arguement?

I must be being really stupid or something

Why cant adults discuss stuff without argueing?

No wonder there are so many problems in the world

Please do not get cross?

OP posts:
vict17 · 03/02/2005 15:19

I think it's because you didn't really put your point across very well (well, in my opinion anyway). The fourth post on this thread is mine as I didn't understand what you were asking and you ignored me!

Uwila · 03/02/2005 15:21

PF, working mother generally find having there parental choices questioned positively infuriating. I am actually trying to give you the benefit of the doubt by saying that I think your intent in pasting those comments was not deliberately malicious, but that you genuinely didn't forsee the reation.

However, you should probably now realise that qustioning my worth as a mother (because I choose to work full time) is more than a tad bit insulting. Surely you can see now that of course this would insite a Mumsnet riot.

moondog · 03/02/2005 15:23

I'm a working mother...I don't find it infuriating at all.It's merely an intersting question.

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:26

sorry vict

It takes so long to type I missed it

A mothers help [with the mum at home but helping her and having some sole charge]

With a lovely family and great kids

Some people just expect too much work with 10-12 hours work and dont give enough back IMHO

My friends and some of the stuff I have read here on different threads.

OP posts:
Uwila · 03/02/2005 15:26

moondog, go howl at something. (when your done with the chips)

moondog · 03/02/2005 15:28

'you're' actually...
Is that the best you can do?
The woman has a right to speak her mind, as indeed do you without people getting hot under the collar.
I am not remotely offended by the comments directed at me.

vict17 · 03/02/2005 15:29

That's okay PrincessFiona. How many hours do you work a day?

aloha · 03/02/2005 15:30

Who are you PF and why are you asking these questions? Are you an exploited au pair or what? Why do you assume that all au pairs work 10-12 hour days for no money? Why do you assume they have sole charge of children? What is your experience? Why do you lump nannies and au pairs in the same category when nannies earn well over the minimum wage (in fact you have to earn 40K yourself to pay a typical nanny's wage in London and you would have nothing left for yourself). I have never seen you posting before and you do seem to be posting a lot of gnomic questions without answering any yourself.

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:31

uwilla why is it insulting?

I am just expressing an opinion

Why is that wrong or not allowed?

Am really confused now

I just dont understand why? thats all

but if you want to that is your choice of course but please do not get angry

It is a warm sunny day and not a day for anger

smile and the smile will be returned

OP posts:
ladymuck · 03/02/2005 15:34

Where is it a warm sunny day?!
Where are you from PF?

vict17 · 03/02/2005 15:34

it;s not warm and sunny here!! where do you live?!!

moondog · 03/02/2005 15:36

pf...it's sunny here too !

aloha · 03/02/2005 15:40

You are expressing an opinion (that women who work aren't good mothers) that is actually pretty insulting IMO. Are you a mother yourself or do you just think up Hallmark card aphorisms?

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:40

Mothers help work all kinds of hours BUT with the parentrs there but have sole charge

so sort of 7am -7pm but not continuous

A lovely family too, but some are not so lucky

I have lots of au pair friends and they are explioted by being made to work all day not allowed to go to language school, babysitting, etc.

I am classing them the same because people keep getting them muxed up

making au pairs work the same houers as nannies but only paying them au pair wages AND making them have sole charge.

OK I am not allowed to rant here so I am going away again.

BTW I have been here since Oct/Nov 2004 Is that long enough?

OP posts:
Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:41

Yes I am a mother too

OP posts:
vict17 · 03/02/2005 15:43

so you're a working mother?

Uwila · 03/02/2005 15:44

It's a warm sunny day is it? Where are you?

PF your comment came with definite suggestions that choosing to work long hours equates to not caring about your kids. For example:

"...but I just don't understand them and why they do it?

Why why why why?

I dont understand why? "

You typed why so many times that at the very least it suggests there can be no reasonable explanation for the behavior. This is why I said:
"Also your comments are coming desperately close to questions my worth as a mother. I answered your questions to help you understand. But, you seem to be saying that my choosing to go to work instead of hanging out with my kids for the day is wrong. You didn't blatantly state that, but it seems to be implied."

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:44

not working atm

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 03/02/2005 15:45

atm as in right now or as in while you have young children (if you do)

Uwila · 03/02/2005 15:47

Hi CD. I see you everywhere today.

crunchie · 03/02/2005 15:49

PF I do understand whytyou are asking these questions, but I think the problem here is that most of us who have any experience of hiring nannies/aupairs/mothers helps etc have never treated our employees badly or expected them to work 10 - 12 hour days. This means we find it hard to relate to your questions. Also you may not mean to rile people but simply asking why us working mums work is a bit like a red rag to a bull. In truth some of us would not choose to work, if money was not object (surveys have shown about 70% mothers would only choose to work part time), also we do feel pangs of guilt about our 'choices' sometimes (although this guilt feeling is something that comes out with the placenta and is the bane of all mothers lives, working in our out of the home.

Ask the questions by all means, but most of us maynot have the definative answers.

Personally I work in part becasue I have to, in part because I want to. I also have manged to find a job 10 mins from home, so I am can there quickly if necessary and I can go to all the important school things too.

Like I said I am not angry about you asking, just that you still keep saying WHY I am confused too

Uwila · 03/02/2005 15:49

What do you in your royal kingdom PF?

Original poster
princessfiona · 03/02/2005 15:50

At the moment

I am in cape town why?

Staying here on holiday with cousins

OP posts: