How is it fair?

[princessfiona]

How is it fair?

1. To expect someone to work for 10-12 hours a day looking after your children for so little money?

2. Would you do it for so little money?

3. Even if they come from a country not as wealthy as UK or USA etc.

4. Do you think they should have a pay increase?

5. I know that it is allowed legally to pay under the minimum wage but does it mean that looking after your children is worth so little?

6. If your daughter went to another country would you want them to be treated in the same way and paid the same?

7. How much time off do they have? Whole weekends without babysitting?

But the families are probably more picky about who they get.

According to Park Lane Nannies:

"In practice Live-Out nannies earn £20 - 40 pw above the live-in wage. "

i am a full time carer. i work all day every day looking after my very sick dh. do you know what i get? £60.45 a week. i dont get time off except when dh is in hospital, i am also in sole charge of our children as dh isnt able to look after them

i think i;d rather be an au pair.

misdee I think you NEED an au pair

How is he doing btw?

i'll let u know later, off to hospital in a bit.

carers allowence is shite pay btw!! usual amount id around £40 a week, but i have dependence allowence on mine from years ago and its deducted from other benefits.

misdee - I'll 2nd you on that that carers allowance is cr*p - my dad now gets it for looking after my mum and really it's abmissmal!

i'm gonna become an au pair and employ myself

PF My response to your original post is that if someone employs an Au Pair there are quite strict guidelines (in this country) as to what should be expected FROM BOTH SIDES. ie 5 hrs work a day max, time for English lessons, board and lodging included etc etc. But this is a shhort term contract and SHOULD be seen as such. Obviously some people do abuse this and teh aupair works longer hours in sole charge etc. I don't understand why either, but I don't think you would find many people that abuse the au-pair system here on MN.

Most people who have nannies pay a really fair wage (over the minimum wage) as their nannies are trained in childcare and it is expected. They have chosen being a nanny as a career and as an emplyer the parents are usually (Again I speak for myself) fair. To give you an example I had a nanny who was with me for 2.5 yrs. WHen my younger dd was 3 it made more finacial sense to use a nursery/childminder. Therefore she left. I paid my nanny for a 45 hr week which worked out at approx £5 an hour before tax. However I always always felt I didn't pay her enough and was sooo glad she stayed with us. She now earns far far more with another family, but she is always calling me and asking me to win the lottery or have another baby so she could come back, becasue money aside I offered her the respect she desired, I treated her as a professional and she treated me the same (although she is now a good friend). Good nannies are hard to find and parents will pay overthe odds to keep them.

Now the 2nd part, why do I work and 'allow' someone else to look after my children? Well in truth I have to pay the mortgage. DH works as an actor and that can be very sporadic (and not well paid) However for his sanity he wants to work. Therefore I work full time. Would I chose to do this over looking after my children? Probably not, but life is a bunch of compromises and this works for us.

BTW we don't have a nanny now and dh is at home looking afterthe kids between jobs, but I really miss our nanny and we try to get her to come round as she also begs to be allowed.

Misdee....
Interesting Ameriscot the way your au pair has now metamorphosised into a 'burden on your household'. Better get rid then.....

Rather like people who would have you believe that fox hunting is 'essential vermin control'!
Having you believe that a luxury is in fact a painful necessity.
Hahahahahahahah!!

Oh dear, have some vinegar with your chips, Moondog.

Oh right. Let's debate fox hunting then, shall we? What the heck is this thread about anyway. ANyone else notice that the origial poster vanished long ago? Perhaps we aren't contributing useful opinions.

Im confused too Uwila and we still havent found those people who are paying pennies to their au pairs and making them working 12 hours a day eihter.

That's b/c I left them all in the US, tarantula ! Heehee. I wasn't sorry to see the back o' that place.

Imagine what your house would be like if someone cleaned it for 12 hours every day

Imagine how much fun my toddler would have messing it back up.

Cleaning??? Isnt that what I left dp at home for?? [innocent face] Honestly cant be having him at home putting his feet up Now can I ?? Esp as Im here working my fingers to the bone (well typing on MN is really hard work)

Message withdrawn

But surely if you couldn't cope with working mothers, you wouldn't be in any profession at all!!?

sorry had to go out
I didn't disappear on purpose
I did not want to start a row either.

I did not want everyone to get angry either,

life is too short for anger

Who's angry?

uwilla

I suspect that PF just said what was on her mind without thinking that is was guaranteed to start a row.

Of course, those of us who have been through a few of these SAHM vs WM threads could have forseen the reaction.

Anyway Fiona, probably more than enough has already been said. But, you may want to tread a bit more carefully in future. Hope you found some answers between the mud slings.

PF I think what people can't understand and are getting slightly riled up about is that first you ask 'is it fair?' that Aupairs/nannies look after kids for such small wages. Then you say

@yes ok so you want to work and for your children you want them to see you work but do you wnat them to remember you working 12 hors a day and admire the fact

or for them to remember playing with mum at home or going to park, frist day at school,

I am not against working mothers otherwise I would be out of a job myself but I just don't understand them and why they do it?

Why why why why?

I dont understand why?'

Well surely this is saying you don't understand WHY mothers go out to work leaving their child for up to 12 hours a day. This is a really difficult thing to explain so I shall try to keep it simple

NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE CHOICE!!

Is that clear?

SOME OF US LIKE TO WORK

it gives us the opportunity to be fulfilled as a person, not just as a mother

WE ARE TRYING OUR BEST, AND WE DON'T FEEL WE NEED TO DEFEND OURSELVES.

I hope that is clear enough, you said that life is too short for anger, I am not angry, but I can't see your point at all. Sorry

PF, say what you damn well want! This is not school,it is a forum for open discussion.
Don't be cowed by people who disagree with you!