Me again! Thinking about telling my newly employed nanny that she can no longer have the job!

[ziopin]

Hi,

I'm thinking about telling the new nanny that she can't have the job now!

I'd verbally offered her the job (not signed contracts yet) and she has accepted it, but that was before I found out she was getting married, and needed 2 1/2 weeks off term time - but hadn't told me at the interview.

I have been trying to sort out something for these weeks - but have been uable to fill this time (I don't really want a temp nanny and my Mum is away during these weeks)

Will it be ok if I withdraw the offer?

A to your point about nanny friends filling in - if you work in London you have a big nanny network - some other cities too. Where I work there are very few. It also depends on their employers stance. Whilst my employer would be ok for me to arrange a playdate so that nanny could go to the dentist she would not be happy for me to have someone elses children in her house all day. You are right about part time nanies being able to fill on days off but again this comes down to area and quantity of nannies - if you're in London, great.

i see your pint nbee 4

shouldntbe job hunting for at leas anoterh 2 years anyway

If i did i'd willingly explain at interview WHY i had a fair bit of time off... it was all genuine, ihave nothing to hide and was not fit to work on any of my time of so i dont feel guilty about it

ok i DID feel guilty about having time off after car crash hence it is MY choice that my soilictors as well as claiming for me will claim back all my gross wasgesback to my bosses
(my bosses are adament they dont want it / dont care, but i will ensure they get it anyway.... as far as im concerned it was not my fault my friend crashed us, but not my bosses either so rather than my bosses being 'out of pocket' i might as well get it back from the insurance)

Ok they dont need the money as such either but thats not the point!

Just to add if i was at that interview, yes i would probably have mentioned my honeymoon.

Equally my nanny friend works for teachers who cant have time off but they still let her choose 2 weeks so it can be done....

none of their immediate family live close by either, and i cover for them on my day off (as i will next week when my friend is away) and a set of grnadparents is coming to stay for a couple of nights to help out too

(oh and when i started my previouse job I worked for abput 8 weeks and then had the next 2.5 weeks off... then remained there happily for another 2 years, until youngest started school.... as my old boss put it, she wanted me as their nanny so had to get by for those 2.5 weeks id already booked, and she did )

(also im not in a city or even near london!)

is there really no other way/person who can fill in while your nanny is away?

you have got a couple of months to find someone

A good nanny is hard to find and worth millions so if you liked everything else about her and she got on well with your children, then seriously think before you do wothdraw your offer.

I do see where you are coming from, seems very strange that a nanny( or anyone) could forget they are getting married, as I said on your orginal post, I told my mb at interview, that I needed 2 weeks off for wedding the following year,and she was fine although they were going away the week before,so I had nearly a month off PAID - BUT is there any way that she thought her honeymoon would fall in the october half term ( we have 2 weeks )

most nannies have friends who could share the care when she is away, when I was on my honeymoon, I had 2 friends cover for me, as well when I was ill in hospital, 3 more covered for me

nbee84 - i am suprised by your mb not wanting another child in her house all day,oas an emergancy surely if you were ill, she would appreicate her child going to a nanny she knew, rather than your mb take time off work/have a stranger look after her child?

most nannies will try to be flexible - obviously your nanny (to be) wont cancel her honeymoon, but it does seem very extreme not to offer her the job beacuse of this 2 week period

"I can't see how it would be that difficult to find another person to care for your child..."

Hmmm...here's hoping that any nanny I might consider employing in the future doesn't see things like that, with no immediate family around whatsoever to help out if the nanny can't make it. And Ziopin is talking about over two weeks that she needs cover. She's supposed to rely on her nanny to find friends to 'fill in randomly' for her?!

My issue with Z's prospective nanny is the disclosure aspect and I also think that she is not obliged to honour an inconvenient request, as other posters have mentioned. I would be quite inclined not to take a risk on this particular person.

Nannyl - agree that your time off was all reasonable and you sound like you are good employee and your bosses good employers.

Back to the ops post;

Yes it would be great if they could find a solution for this nannies honeymoon. I think that if they were really keen on her they would have done so somehow. But -

You have to remember it from the parents point of view too. Leaving your precious lo with someone new (all the guilt and worry that goes with that) and only 5 or so weeks after nanny has started (and lo has just got used to her) having another 'stranger' come in for a couple of weeks, then this 'stranger' disappears and other nanny comes back. It's a lot for a lo to cope with and the Mum too.

If she has family ie the grandparents (I'm 38 and both my parents still work full time), they may all be working too and if they only get 24 days holiday a year may not want to sacrifice half of it for childcare.

She could be the 1st of her friends to have children so her friends are still out at work. She may have made friends at nct classes, but their babies will be about the same age so it would be a lot for a friend to cope with - 2 small babies everyday for over 2 weeks. I know that I could ask a friend for the odd day's cover but not 2 weeks or so.

No, my employer wouldn't want me to have someone else's children around for 2 weeks. She employs me to care for her children and to concentrate on them and their routines. She did not want a nanny share situation. Emergency cover for a day maybe but not 2 weeks that far in advance.

And I wouldn't say its unreasonable of her. Her children, her house, her money paying my wagess.

i am not saying that your mb would have to have another child for every day for 2 weeks, but I cant beleive she wouldnt want to be able to help another mum

but there we go

Im glad I have a mb who is nice, and would be more than happy for me to have friends child for a few days if nanny was ill - to help out parents, just as she knows if I am ill/cant make it in to work, then I could probably find her 5/6 reliable nannies who could help her out

anyway back to OP - if you really cant see a way round finding other childcare for 2 weeks,then guess you should get rid of her

what happens if you interview another nanny who has a holiday booked, and isnt in the sch hols?

just read your other thread - sounds to me that you really need a driver - 4trips on buses a day sounds a nightmare imo

so

maybe you do need to look for another nanny, but stae in yuor ad that you need a driver

Good point - unless you are a teacher or have school aged children yourself, you tend to book holidays in term time when it is cheaper.

Hopefully, as she is looking for a September start, she will find a nanny that has already had her holiday for this year.

I don't think you're being unreasonable Ziopin... that fact she forgot to mention her honeymoon is ridiculous... of course she didn't forget, she was being underhand, in the hope you would find a way round it for her. If you can't find alternative childcare, tell her and she what she offers to do to accomodate you.

Ok this is a hard one!! But feel i have to have my say 2!! I am a nanny and agree with some of the things nannyl said. I can't believe you wouldn't employ a nanny just because of 2 weeks holiday, this seems a tad over the top, yep i know she should have mentioned the honeymoon, but at the end of the day it is only 2 weeks, it's not 6 months if you really like her then i am sure you could and would have sorted it out but i'm not sure you really want to!! It's hard being a nanny and having time off, many nannies don't as they don't want to let "their families down" when you are a nanny it's a bit more personnel and we feel we are letting our employers down, whereas on many occasions i have had bosses off, who are supposed to be dieing of the flu, but they are quite happy to spend the day chatting downstairs munching biscuits and gossiping so please think hard, if you clicked with the nanny and really liked her then maybe it's worth sorting those 2 weeks out, have you spoken to her referees as they can be honest with you if she has made a habit of this during her last jobs, gosh i have gone on a bit sorry i do this when i'm tired, just got in from babysitting!! Please let us know what you end up deciding to do!!

Morning all. Just want to clarify that Yes I really do like her, but the underhand way in which she told me about her honeymoon has got me worried

As mentioned she doesn't drive so it would mean 4 bus rides a day.

No, I dont have any immediate family living nearby, and no no no I would not want to use one of her nanny friends to cover for her for the 2 1/2 weeks! as nbee84 said 'Leaving your precious lo with someone new (all the guilt and worry that goes with that) and only 5 or so weeks after nanny has started (and lo has just got used to her) having another 'stranger' come in for a couple of weeks, then this 'stranger' disappears and other nanny comes back. It's a lot for a lo to cope with and the Mum too' Thats exactly it!

Thanks for all your posts.

I'm in the process of changing nanny job, and my new employer was told, prior to interview and at interview about commitments (such as holiday) I already had, which could not be changed. Despite not being able to start on the date they would have liked, and shortly after starting I would be going on holiday for a week, my new boss decided to interview me anyway, and offer me the job.
They were fortunate in being able to juggle things around such that they could accommodate the start date and cover my holiday. Not all parents are able to do that, so I was lucky in this case. But the key thing I feel is that I made it clear from the start that I would need the time off - I didn't hide that information until I had been offered the job.

Ziopin... if you had known about the required time off, prior to interviewing... would you still have interviewed the nanny?
I feel that given your work situation, you may have decided against interviewing this candidate, as they did not fit your availability requirement.

Non disclosure of the honeymoon I feel was underhanded, perhaps even bordering on deception. If I were the employer, I too would be worried. If they hid that, what else may they hide in future.

crikey! i've always had a sneaking suspicion that there are some nannies with huge sense of entitlement out there...

one thing i've never "got" about nanny/nanny employer culture is this whole nanny network thing. if i were to employ a nanny, i'd check refs, possibly CRB, certificates etc. but then i'd be expected to be happy if the nanny left my dc with one of her friends, whom i hadn't ref checked etc. why on earth would i be happy with that having gone to such lengths to check out my own nanny in the first place?

agree that z should decline the holiday and leave the ball in the nanny's court.

I don't get the nanny network thing either. Mind you, I'm not good at social networking. Suppose it may be handy as a backup, but parents would want to meet the backup nanny wouldn't they. You can't just assume that because someone is working as a nanny, that they are suitable or sufficiently experienced, yet alone cleared to work with children.

Ziopin you don't have to give an employee time off... the employee can request time off, which you can deny. So as you can't work around it, you can deny the time off, leaving the ball in the nannies court.

Agree with ingles2, its not the holiday timing so much as the fundamental principal of not being upfront.

If thats her before she has even started, then what next.

So agree with nannynick, tell her she can't have it because it directly contradicts her response to one of your interview questions, and see what she says.

Well you are all confirming my belief that I was right to go for a Childcare environment where if someone is off there are others to care for DD. In many ways I would love a Nanny but I have to work PT and could not do that if I had a Nanny that was off all the time.

I have no one else so need reliability. I really sympathise with the OP.

Also I agree with Flowery. Breach of contract but you have a good reason and these things usually go no further.

Nannies are rarely off that often - at least, I'm rarely off work.

However when a nanny or childminder is off work for whatever reason, it can cause major problems. If you use a nursery you don't get that issue, as the nursery is responsible for finding alternative staff (such as temps from agencies).

But with a nursery you end up having to take off time from work when your lo isunder the weather - or organising childcare so you can go to work.

Swings and roundabouts really

You just have to hope you get a cm or nanny that is not off often. In 10 years as a childminder I had 3 days - though I sometimes worked when ill and we would have a quiet day with a dvd and rest in the afternoon.

Message withdrawn

bossykate - once you have interviewed and found a nanny you like, then would you not trust her judgement if she needed time off due to holiday/sickness BUT could find you a reliable responsible nanny who she has prob known for years to help you out?

we all try to help in my area/network of friends, it is that or the mb take a day off work, or use a temp nanny through agency which the children DEF wouldnt know

imo using a person that the children prob know,must be better than getting a temp in?Ziopin, if you used a nannyies friends to cover when nanny was on honeymoon,then they wouldnt be strangers to your children?

If you really cant see a way through this, then yes tell the nanny now, but think you said your job starts in sept, so you may not be able to find a nanny who can start then, as we are nearly in july, and by the time you have put out feelers/answered ads etc, interviewed nannies, checked ref and then offered the job,it will be another few weeks

most nannies I know have 2months notice and may not be able to start when you need someone

nbee - I agree swings and roundabouts

NannyL you seem to live in a dreamworld as to how easy it is to find alternative childcare for children. I find it really stressful and have 3 weeks of it to sort out this summer, although fortunately only 9 days because I am part time. But I am lucky in that DH and I can take some of that time off. But even so I am stressing about (I am due to TUPE transfer to a new company on 1 Aug) and sending my holiday request off to several people to get it agreed before my colleague resigns. And I have booked more days than I hopefully need in the theory that it will be easier to cancel than book them at a later date.