My 4y/o will be in school from 7:30 till around 6pm

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I’ve just been offered a new job, i assumed it was 9-5 because online it says the office closes at 5pm. I had 3 interviews and at stupidly I never asked to double check.

Once I got contract to sign it said the hours were 9-6 or I can work 8-5 4 days a week. Fridays are a late start and early finish which is great. After school club finishes at 6pm so my only option is 8-5.

breakfast club opens at 7:30am and I don’t drive so unless I get taxis to work I need to get the bus for 6:40am. My sister lives round the corner and has offered to pick my son up at 6:30 and take him to breakfast club for 7:30am.

My son needs a little time to wake up in the morning before I get him dressed so I’d need to be waking him up at 5:30am.

5:30am - 6pm seems like such a long day for someone in reception but I don’t have much choice, it’s been a struggle to find a job let alone one that’s strictly 9-5 and no weekends.

I feel incredibly guilty, is there any other single mums that had to have a routine like this? Did you see any changes in your child’s behaviour? Anything you found that helps?

Thank you

No she can’t she will be in work

.

Thank you! Best of luck to you too xx

https://www.sitters.co.uk/cost.aspx

They're learning the very foundations of reading and writing in Reception too - I'd be a bit wary of him deciding he hates that because he feels tired.

I know I sound negative. I just think you'll both be miserable. But hope I'm wrong. I have no idea how anyone works FT with a child in school. They are completely different systems. And the holidays....

i could do yeah, just risking taking the time off work to go to other job interviews. 3 months is a lot for me though I’ve not had anyone else to rely on financially

The idea of a babysitter in the morning seems good, you say you wouldn't want a local teen so maybe try an app like Bubble which connects you to lots of babysitting and temp many options. I used it to fill a childcare gap and we found a lovely nanny who was between one job ending and starting mateave so she just wanted a few weeks of work. Obvs that wouldn't work for you but you might find someone whose current work pattern would suit doing extra in early morning or after school.

Another idea - if the bus takes 1hr 20 is it actually more than one bus? Could you use taxis for part of the way to save a bit of time but not spend so much money? Is cycling an option, even part of the way?

Yeah I’ve really struggled too. Thought I hit the jackpot with this one, was too good to be true!

Lol

Is it 8-5 or 9-6 with a lunch break? Could you agree to work through lunch and do 9-5?

A thought.

Have you spoken to your new employer.

Dear Hiring Manager

I am so excited to start this new position and have been making arrangements for suitable childcare.

I have found that wrap around care options are limited and am exploring all options. Is there any flexibility to work from 9-5 each day? I would be happy to reduce my lunch hour to accommodate this and perhaps work extra time on a Friday to make up any shortfall of hours.

Yours sincerely

I don’t really like the idea of them having my house keys all day and then having to travel to where ever they live after pick up to get my keys. I considered cycling but I searched and it would take me 25 minutes. If I put him in breakfast club for 7:30 I’d only have a 30 minute window to get to work. I’m not in the physical shape to be doing that every day (I’ve lost a lot of weight because of money problems) so I’d most likely be late to work and I can’t really afford a bike until I’ve done some proper saving. But yeah it’s more than one bus, but it would be cheaper for me to just get a taxi straight there rather than buying bus tickets there and back and taxi fare. Thank you for your ideas much appreciated!

I have no doubt it will be miserable, but got to pay my bills some how. I’ll be making sure he gets lots of quality time on the weekends

no they don’t but an electric bike sounds amazing. But yeah hopefully the experience will make me more employable

OP. Saying this with kindness - having offered suggestions in multiple posts - all of which you won't consider. You aren't really interested in exploring other options. I think you don't want the job and you are looking for validation to back out.

You just wanted people to say that your four year old would never cope with 13 hour days. Which he won't if you don't modify your approach, which you won't.

Last suggestion.
https://keysafe.co.uk/

Good luck with whatever you choose.

But couldn't you do what most people do, and take the job then keep looking? Three months on the job search is nothing - there may well be better options out there.

One of my dc has never slept, she's got endless energy. No matter what time she goes to bed she's up at 5am. She never napped even as a tiny baby. Some dc are like that. She's up and ready to go within 5 minutes and spends her morning doing YouTube exercise classes. However, I think even she would struggle with that schedule. It's just so different to getting up and having a period of downtime in the morning and evening. Everything will be rush rush rush and you will both end up burnt out and frazzled.
I have worked in schools and nurseries and they are not places of relaxation they are chaotic and highly stimulating even in asc .

I have also been a single parent trying to make ends meet while prioritising my dc. It's really hard. I feel for you op. One thing I did when my dc was young was took a nursery job. It didn't pay a great amount but I could take my dc for free and it meant they came with me so didn't have to factor in a early drop off. Is this something you would consider. Nurseries are crying out for staff.
There are jobs out there that offer flexibility even if it's been hard for you to find them. I'd be tempted to put on my big girl pants and ask your offered job for flex working. They can always say no but if you explain the situation often places are very accommodating as long as you get the work done it often doesn't matter when you do it. They will have come across these requests many times.

I'm very fortunate the I'm able to work part time flexibly and my dc only need asc once a week and no breakfast club, they have at times gone to both more but only ever max 3 times a week and not consistently. I have had to be pretty ruthless in asking for this and most employers are short staffed so are willing to bend. I have only achieved this by being totally transparent about my situation and having the balls to play their bluff. What I will say is that despite this I have over the last year worked longer days and dh has done pick up, I was leaving at 7.30am and back at 8pm, after a long commute and I was utterly exhausted, miserable and burnt out. When I got home I was collapsing into bed and had very little life or interaction with my dc as I was just done and I was regularly getting ill especially with migraines.

I understand you need money and it seems like your only option but I'm confident there is other ways and options. Don't panic op and ask for what you need.

Do this short term if needs must but be prepared that you will both find this very hard and will both be burnt out.

Yes I can and I most likely will, it’s just the task of missing work to attend interviews whilst I’ll be in a probation period that worries me. Risking an income for jobs I may not get

I already asked this but they said no. It’s rather 8-5 or 9-6 due to their working week. Would be much easier to just skip my lunch break though

I obviously don’t want to have to have this routine for my child and if I was offered a different job right now with better hours then I would take it - so no I’m not looking for validation to back out of it.

I actually just wanted some responses from people that are/have dealt with going through with this. Sometimes it’s nice to hear about other people’s experiences wether they managed to carry on doing it or not - so not to feel isolated with my own situation. I wasn’t looking for alternative suggestions.

And thank you for your suggestion I’ll take a look at it

I’ve already spoken to the employer explaining why I needed 9-5 and offered to work through my lunch instead. They explained to me that their flexible hours is rather work 8-5 or 9-6 and the 10-4:30 on a Friday.

This is a terrible terrible idea OP.

Your child will suffer. You will suffer. Your relationship with your sister will suffer .

If you have to work out of available childcare hours you need to pay for a nanny or babysitter, if that is financially unrealistic then you need to keep job hunting for a role that either pays more or has hours you can use nursery/childminders.

What happens when your sisters unwell?

I understand that you need this job but it's a very long day for a 4 year old and you.

There must be another job closer to home with better hours. Tesco, Asda, private care company, remote working, etc.

Once you get to know your co workers you may find someone who drives past or near to your house /kids school that you can get a lift with.
Lots of people do this, as long as you pay them equivalent to the bus fare or thereabouts everyone's happy.

It's absolutely disgraceful that in 2023 we have people who are losing weight because of financial issues and that are having to work unsustainable hours just to pay the bills. Op situation is why the welfare state was invented and it should not exist in such a manner that it keeps people in poverty. I'm not being patronising op I'm saying that it is unacceptable that you are forced into this position.
Are you sure you are getting everything you are entitled to? I'd be happy for you to pm me if you want advice on filling out forms or applying for extra benefits. I'm not suggesting committing benefit fraud but often people miss out simply because they don't know what is expected on these applications. It's part of my job to advocate for people with this sort of thing.

For what it's worth if I knew a local mum was in this position I'd be happy to offer a couple of mornings a week, I'm up anyway. I often have dc after school or during holidays for other school mums. I hope you end up meeting some of the other parents and can eventually be offered similar.