My 4y/o will be in school from 7:30 till around 6pm

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I’ve just been offered a new job, i assumed it was 9-5 because online it says the office closes at 5pm. I had 3 interviews and at stupidly I never asked to double check.

Once I got contract to sign it said the hours were 9-6 or I can work 8-5 4 days a week. Fridays are a late start and early finish which is great. After school club finishes at 6pm so my only option is 8-5.

breakfast club opens at 7:30am and I don’t drive so unless I get taxis to work I need to get the bus for 6:40am. My sister lives round the corner and has offered to pick my son up at 6:30 and take him to breakfast club for 7:30am.

My son needs a little time to wake up in the morning before I get him dressed so I’d need to be waking him up at 5:30am.

5:30am - 6pm seems like such a long day for someone in reception but I don’t have much choice, it’s been a struggle to find a job let alone one that’s strictly 9-5 and no weekends.

I feel incredibly guilty, is there any other single mums that had to have a routine like this? Did you see any changes in your child’s behaviour? Anything you found that helps?

Thank you

I'd personally do 9-6 and try and find childcare for after school. Are there any local teenagers or students who'd do it?

I couldn’t do that.

what’s your back up. Sick days. Etc.

I understand the reality of the options but there is no way I could sustain that alone.

can you work from home some hours. What area is it

I think waking your child up at 05,30 in the morning for such a long day out of the house is too long.

I don't think it's a realistic plan.

9-6 would be better and finding a childminder that works until 7.

I'm sorry to say I agree with PP it's not a choice that I'd make. However neither of my kids are particularly early risers so maybe if they were I'd feel differently about it as I do know people whose children routinely wake up at that sort of time anyway to be fair.

Take the 9-6 option and find a local childminder for after school. Much better for your child. And for you too.

Mine was always awake at crack of dawn anyway so no problem.

Can't your sis dress him? So at 6.30 you literally chuck her a sleepy, pj boy who she dresses and feeds? She's got an hour until breakfast club. That'll help massively

Yes this is exactly what I would do. Early mornings would kill me!

What about the school holidays? Your leave will only cover about half of them.

While this is better timing wise, I think it's probably a better idea to take the sister out of the equation altogether. It's not realistic to expect a family member to collect a child 5 days a week, especially at such an early hour. The Op needs a more secure plan, because if the sister suddenly decides it's too much then the Op is going to be out of a job.

How about an au pair ?

If it’s office based can you not work a couple days from home and build the drop off into your morning and take the time from lunch

Exactly. Honestly the sister is not going to want to spend the next 5 years of her life doing childcare 5 days a week during term time and then probably covering for at least some of the holidays too. The op needs alternative childcare arrangements ASAP.

How far away is the job that you need to get a 0640 bus? Will someone else be able to pick your child up if they are ill?

I hate to say it as I understand your predicament but I think it’s too long really. I work in reception and they get so tired. We do have children in reception and nursery that do 0745 to 1745 and some of them are fine, some are just so so tired. And I’d be surprised if many of those doing the full day are getting up at 0530 too.

Im not sure what the solution is though, I do feel for you.

Would 9–6 be better, as your son will not have to get up so early? Could your sister pick him up from the after-school club?

I think that's far too long for a child to be in childcare (school is childcare effectively as well) for the majority of the week. The poor thing will be exhausted. I would rather be on benefits than do that to my child.

Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear but I would have to prioritise my child.

That's a crazy long day for such a young child. Although if it's your only option then you don't really have a choice. I chose to work three part time jobs when my kids were young as I was a single parent and had no wrap around childcare. Two of those were self employed. I detest cleaning but I worked as a cleaner for many years to avoid this scenario. I'm also educated to masters level so wasn't a case of this being my only option.

Depends what time your 4 year old would usually get up. My youngest was up every day at 0530am and was a bundle of energy until bed time , around 730-8pm. His sleep pattern changed as he got older but even now as a teen , 0900am is a lie in. He’d have coped with those hours fine.

That's a crazy long day for both of you. Reception children are exhausted at the best of times.

If needs must I would take it but look for another job asap.

What is your contingency plan for if your sister is ill or just has enough? For school holidays or if your child is sick mid day? As a single parent it's risky to rely on just one person to provide childcare whether it's a sister, grandparent or childminder in case sickness or injury strikes. Look at local nursery's who might offer before and after clubs and drive your child to / pick up from school.

What skills do you have? Could you apply for a different type of role? Plenty of WFH admin type jobs for government departments or their arms length bodies which offer flexible working conditions.

Longer term could you look at learning to drive and getting a car? Would that allow you to do the drop off at breakfast club? It just sounds like such a long day.

Why is this job something you're considering, OP? Are you still employed in your old job, or not? Is it possible you could get something else?

I absolutely understand the fear when you don't have money coming in, but the hours here sound particularly awful for you. What drove you to apply for this job? Would there not be anything else that might be better?

I'm a single parent (EXDP does nothing for the DC during the week) so I got a Nanny, though I leave the house at 7.30am, rather than 6.30am.

Although I'm supposed to be up at 5.30am, I struggle getting myself up at 5.30am, and the DC up at 6.30am, and end up rushing everybody around, so I think it'll be tough in your little one, as well as on you (what time will you be waking up ).

Your new workplace also seems very far if it takes 1 hour 20 minutes, if you could do a crash course in driving would it be less than half an hour travel? If not, I'd try and find someone thing closer.

*something closer

It feels a bit precarious and not great in terms of tiredness. My youngest has just started and she’s struggling with tiredness in a way my eldest never did. She’s basically doing 8.30 to 6 but she is a mess at pick-up. If I had to wake her at 5.30 it would just be too much. I’d try and see if you can find an after school nanny or even a teenager that might collect from after school club for an hour and look at the 9-6.

I have to get up at 5.15 for my commuting days and it kills me. 2 days on the trot and I’m grumpy and tired. Any more wouldn’t be sustainable for me.