My 4y/o will be in school from 7:30 till around 6pm

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I’ve just been offered a new job, i assumed it was 9-5 because online it says the office closes at 5pm. I had 3 interviews and at stupidly I never asked to double check.

Once I got contract to sign it said the hours were 9-6 or I can work 8-5 4 days a week. Fridays are a late start and early finish which is great. After school club finishes at 6pm so my only option is 8-5.

breakfast club opens at 7:30am and I don’t drive so unless I get taxis to work I need to get the bus for 6:40am. My sister lives round the corner and has offered to pick my son up at 6:30 and take him to breakfast club for 7:30am.

My son needs a little time to wake up in the morning before I get him dressed so I’d need to be waking him up at 5:30am.

5:30am - 6pm seems like such a long day for someone in reception but I don’t have much choice, it’s been a struggle to find a job let alone one that’s strictly 9-5 and no weekends.

I feel incredibly guilty, is there any other single mums that had to have a routine like this? Did you see any changes in your child’s behaviour? Anything you found that helps?

Thank you

Yes I wish there were other options! I was looking for some tips/advice from other people in similar situations - I’ve already gone through all of the ways I could avoid having to do this

Sounds like you have made your mind up.

Did you consider the suggestions:

Moped - easily going to be cheaper than taxis every day
Nanny - could you do this 2 or three days a week?
Au Pair for a year

Seriously - he is 4 - 13 hour days are just not sustainable. Your sister may say she will do it - I would bet money that by the end of term 1 she will be saying no more.

Can your sister not just pick him up at 6pm? That seems like the sensible option. The early starts / drop offs aren’t going to be sustainable for the long term

getting a moped license and then buying a moped/insurance will take a lot of child-free time that I don’t have.
Sadly I’m not starting a job that’s giving me a wage where I can afford to get taxis everyday let alone an au pair. Childminders to me aren’t much different to having him with the morning and after school club and they’re way out of my budget. I appreciate the advice on the alternative options though :)

OP if you want to reply to specific posts you need to click the three dots on that post then 'quote'. If you're seeing 'reply' it doesn't do this unfortunately - would be great if they could put the quote function there....

Personally I wouldn't do such a long day. I've started a new job a few weeks ago and figuring out start/end times and childcare etc was a priority, I wouldn't have considered a job that meant getting a Reception kid up at 5.30 (unless they're already up at that time!). But I know good jobs are hard to come by.

No way! I’ve been pressing the ‘reply’ button for everyone lol. And I’ve been searching for a new job for 3 months with no luck mainly do to the hours. I thought this job was 9-5 until I got the contract earlier or I would’ve never applied. But yeah they are hard to come by

Exactly. I couldn't be at work out of the house 13 hours a day 5 days a week. OP could do this short term but it would still be detrimental for her son during that time. If it continued longer her son would suffer, potentially showing behavioural issues, and with a risk of affected mental and physical development. It can lead to obesity, diabetes, weakened immune system etc. Sounds awfully dramatic but it isn't. Sleep deprivation in children is really very serious and should be avoided long term at all costs.

How so?

I'm really not asking this to imply there should be a choice. I do know how rough it is getting any job, and especially when you're navigating around issues like being a single parent. But if you'd explain a bit more about the whole situation, maybe we could help?

FWIW I spend ages being frantic and miserable, thinking I had no options. Then I stumbled into a job that was far more flexible than I had imagined possible. I would never have thought it was out there - so, you will understand, I'm a real believer in making sure you've checked all options, even if you think there's nothing else out there.

I work shifts 7-7 so need to get my 1 year old , 2 year old and 5 year old all up at 5.30, get everyone organised and breakfast and drop them all of at different places ( two youngest at nursery and oldest at breakfast club) for 7. I don't arrive to work until around 8 and have an adapted shift because I wouldn't possibly get there for 7.
mots incredibly hard emotionally I am drained and feel guilt but they have all been in nursery since they were babies.
we live in a day and age where it is impossible not to work. I would love nothing more than to be a stay at home mum and look after my babies but it's not an option for me so you have to look at the positives or you will just beat yourself up. Your child will look up to you I think you're doing great and that's a good shift pattern . Best of luck xx

Sorry I forgot to mention they can get breakfast at nursery/ breakfast club but I get them up earlier deliberately so I am able to do breakfast myself as it takes some of the guilt away. I don't see them until around bath time when I am home x

sounds like a great idea, but I’d need to spend time getting a licence for a moped I assume? I don’t have another other childcare other than school and morning/after school clubs and at the moment not much spare money. It is a good option though if was able!

Change to a childminder for both sessions then and your school holiday will be covered The child will be with a couple of children and resting rather than what 10 or 20 and a few adults ....ratios for after school are higher so less attention. And claim the 85% to help pay it. Then when your child is too old for private nursery your still sorted.

Again, I'm being Ms negative here but my parents both worked long hours, and whilst I understand why now I'm an adult, I certainly didn't look up to them as a child and just missed them a great deal. You can't know how a child will feel about the situation.

I’ve already been on the job search for 3 months with not much luck, I’m behind on my gas and electric bills so I really need a stable income coming in.
So the only other option I have is rejecting the offer and finding a job that starts at 9 so I can take my son to breakfast club at 7:30 and I don’t need to get the bus as early. But that could take another 3 months for all I know

But it's not just tiered sleep is needed to make sense of the day and learn lack of sleep in a child is serious they don't catch up the learning at the weekend. They fall asleep in lessons. There has to be a way around this.

The other way around would probably just be getting taxis to work some days of the week if I can afford to so Im able take him to breakfast club instead and he can wake up at 6:30 instead of 5:30 4 days a week.

I never asked it was her idea and she offered! It’s 4 days a week, Fridays is a late start/early finish

20 minutes in a taxi which I would get for emergencies

She has to leave for work at 7:30 so she’s picking him up at 6:30 so she’s able to get dressed before work and then drop him off on her way. But she could possibly get him dressed at her house it’s wether or not she will be able to handle both and make sure she’s on time

Hi OP, depending on salary have you tried any remote work?

customer service, virtual assistant etc? You can usually get up to 25/30k on some roles?

might be more reasonable in terms of time management

my Child is in mainstream school
( reception) the morning/after school club is just held in the same building as a private nursery. There’s no more than 6 children there in the morning and about 10 after school. They drop him off and pick him and him up from school (it’s all in walking distance) i already claim the 85% to pay help pay it. The childminders I’ve looked at are a lot more expensive and none in walking distance - I only want walking distance as it can get complicated with car seats and other peoples cars especially when you erf.

Childminder or not I’ll still have to get the bus to work at 6:40 and most don’t work earlier than 7am and if they do they’re way out of budget

On getting dressed another option might be to get him sleeping in part of his uniform so he has less to do/your sis has less to do? Eg.mine had tracksuit bottoms and polo shirts at primary school would have been fine to sleep in.

But I overall agree with others that it'll be a long day for both of you. I would keep looking for jobs even once you start this. If it takes three months to find another which is more flexible then at least you'd have steady income while you look

Your sister sound really lovely. I am sure she has every good intention in the world.

Once the reality of doing this sets in and she is having to deal with a possibly cranky tired child 4 mornings a week. She will change her mind and it will cause tension.

I totally get you have to work and you need this job. You need to come up with a better plan though.

A childminder is the best option IMO. In home care, less children, more opportunity to rest. ASC is good in a gap but they are noisy, not designed for rest.

I would be looking for a childminder and hiring a paid babysitter in the meantime to come to the house at least 2 mornings a week so he can sleep in.

Does your employer offer a cycle to work scheme which you could use to get an electric bike?

Worst case you can change jobs six months down the line, when the experience from this job will make you more employable.

I’ve been looking for remote work for months with no luck. Lots of customer service roles required later evenings or weekends which I can’t commit to.