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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny has offered free childcare

133 replies

Teacakeorcrumpet · 25/05/2023 08:32

I found out yesterday our nanny has organised for eldest DC's new friend to come to our house for 2 full days next week. We employ our nanny 45hrs a week to care for DC aged 8, 5 and 2. As far as I can tell the nanny has invited this friend directly speaking to the child's parent without consulting me and apparently they will be arriving at 8.30am on Monday morning for the full day and the same on Tuesday.

Parents of the child have not contacted me at all about this. I'm not comfortable at all. The child is in the same school class as my eldest but has never been to our house before and I've only spoken to the parents once or twice.

I feel like I'm being used as free childcare for 2 days and the parents haven't even had the decency to check with me that this is OK or offer to share costs.

The nanny is planning to take them on a day trip on Monday so I'll have the extra cost of petrol, lunch out and giving this child dinner when they get back. On Tuesday they're going to an adventure park for the day and again I feel like I'm expected to cover all costs without being asked. Feels like total CF behaviour.

Not even sure why I'm posting other than to vent and see if anyone else's nanny ever puts them in such an awkward position! This is the latest in a string of small annoyances and I'm thinking its time for the nanny to move elsewhere. Youngest DC will be at nursery in Sept anyway so we will only need after school care then. Would I be unreasonable to give her notice that we don't need her for Sept onwards?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BodegaSushi · 27/05/2023 13:33

She sounds insane. I don't know a single nanny (myself included) who would offer to have extra children, for a full day, especially during a school holiday.

It's usually the opposite, nannies complaining that their boss just arranged for them to have a child for a whole day with no extra money offered.

Has she got a bit of a martyr complex?

BodegaSushi · 27/05/2023 13:34

SkaterBrained · 26/05/2023 10:57

I think you should be careful how you handle this with your nanny, or there's a chance your kids could miss out in the future. At 8 there will be a lot of spontaneous playdates and meet ups arranged at the school gate. If your nanny can't ever discuss these without checking with you, then people will stop asking.

You either allow her to make offers as any normal parent would in conversation or you control everything - you won't be able to get the nice things you might have retrospectively agreed to without some things you wouldn't have agreed to, it will be all her judgement or nothing.

This is a big first ask, however, it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask how it came about and why she invited the other girl.

A play date is a couple of hours.

Grrrpredictivetex · 27/05/2023 15:11

@Teacakeorcrumpet possibly she's looking for a new job. Maybe they're trying to headhunt her? Just a thought.

crosstalk · 27/05/2023 16:04

Does OP's nanny have the parents' number? If not, why not, since she will if this goes ahead be looking after the child. And, if there were D&V or anything else in the house, she would need to be able to cancel. I cannot imagine many parents letting their child go off with a nanny they've met at the school gate without wanting to exchange contact details and checking with the nanny's employer. The child's number is not good enough but presumably could be used to ask to contact the parents.

crosstalk · 27/05/2023 16:15

@Maebh9 Totally different kettle of fish. Of course parents help each other out WHEN THEY KNOW THEM, which in this case the OP doesn't. As a full time working mum I used to take in kids overnight and look after them during the weekend to help out other parents working weekend jobs. BUT when I employed a nanny s/he agreed to be on my dollar to look after my DC and needed to check with me about weekly arrangements. And certainly not to take on another kid for a full day without checking with me that it worked for my DC and knew who the parents were and their contact details.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/05/2023 19:48

Have you asked nanny directly if she being paid extra by the family

Maybe she is just trying to help the family and be a nice nanny with having her eldest charge a school friend over and not being paid

Yes she should have mentioned to you that she had offered

Equally my mb trusted me to make plans on my days and yes we have taken a school friend for a trip to beach so all day

And mb was fine about it

She said would be her day of hell taking 4 kids 😂 but she knew me as a professional nanny would be fine

Why would you have to pay for the entrance to places for the extra kids. The parents would

Petrol would be the same regardless

And tea - would some pasta or sausages mash veg etx really cost that much

WimpoleHat · 28/05/2023 21:01

Maybe she is just trying to help the family and be a nice nanny with having her eldest charge a school friend over and not being paid

But by the sound of it, this child isn’t a particular friend of the OP’s child - just some child from the class - and that’s what has made her question the whole arrangement.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/05/2023 21:54

But op hasn't actually asked the many if she's being paid

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