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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

To leave Children alone for 30 minutes in the evening

80 replies

Flowercat1982 · 25/04/2023 18:30

Just trying to see what people's opinions are. I recently applied for a job I was really interested in. Applied late one evening, got a phone call the next morning to have an interview the next day, so I possibly had quite a good chance of getting the job. Long story short, the job entailed staying till 10pm at night. It's 5/10 minute drive from home. I had to turn it down as my partner works nights and leaves at 9.40/9.45 to get into work. 3 children aged 12, 5 and 3. Would it be really bad of me to have even considered leaving the children at home on there own at night for 30 minutes? They would all be in bed. At the moment my flexibility to work seems really limited. I know some people will say, just wait until the children are in school before changing jobs but the type of I'm looking at does not come up very often. And often will involve evenings.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
IAmcuriousyellow · 25/04/2023 18:34

I’d be ok with briefly leaving the 12 year old, with instructions & contact numbers for emergencies, but honestly 5 and 3 is too young

cocksstrideintheevening · 25/04/2023 18:35

No way, the 12 yo yes not leaving them in charge of the others

divorceadviceneeded · 25/04/2023 18:36

They are too young. Could you not pay a local babysitter/neighbour to sit with them for 1/2 an hour?

Bunnichick · 25/04/2023 18:37

Nope

DPotter · 25/04/2023 18:37

Sorry but no. OK for the 12 yr old not the 5 & 3. It's not on to leave the 12 yr old in charge of the other 2

Heroicallyfound · 25/04/2023 18:38

Way too young to be left alone. Could you ask for alternative hours? What’s the job?

DelphiniumBlue · 25/04/2023 18:39

Is there any flex in the timings? Could your partner start later. or you finish earlier? It's worth asking.
But no, you can't leave children of that age alone at night. Maybe you can find a neighbour who'd babysit?

WhatNoRaisins · 25/04/2023 18:39

It's too much responsibility for the 12 year old I think. If it was just the 12 year old I might consider it.

ImSoShiney · 25/04/2023 18:40

Did you HAVE to turn it down though? Could your partner not have requested Flexi starting and finishing half an hour later?

Movinghousehelp · 25/04/2023 18:41

Too young. If they really want you, and it sounds like they do, there should be a way to make it work so you can get home on time ie different hours, shorter break with earlier finish etc.

or DH can ask for some flexibility from his employer.

rumnraisinrocks · 25/04/2023 18:44

Could one or both of you not have asked for some flexibility? If you could have finished 20 mins earlier and him started 20 mins later.

Daft to turn it down without trying

3luckystars · 25/04/2023 18:46

could you or your husband ask to start a bit earlier / later, they might have been amenable to it.

ShadowPuppets · 25/04/2023 18:47

Agree with everyone else. 12yo alone fine. Not with the younger two.

CandlelightGlow · 25/04/2023 18:47

I don't understand why you'd worry about whether you'd be bad for considering it as you obviously came to the correct conclusion that it wasn't feasible? We'd all consider it if we we desperate.

YABU if you didn't even ask if there was a possibility of you finishing earlier before turning it down!

ThreeFeetTall · 25/04/2023 18:50

Ask a neighbour/ local friend to pop in to watch them?

LokiGodOfMischief · 25/04/2023 18:51

The younger 2 are way too little to be left with a 12 year old. I'd ask if you could finish a bit earlier, or better yet get your husband to start a bit later.

CindersAgain · 25/04/2023 18:53

Myabe ok as a one off, but not every night. And what neighbour would want to come round every single evening?

SheikYerboutiii · 25/04/2023 18:53

Of course you can’t leave a 3 and a 5 year old alone for 30 minutes! Fucking hell man.

Flowercat1982 · 25/04/2023 18:57

Thanks for everyone's opinions. No my DH wouldn't have been flexible with his starting times. He is happy with the job I'm in now as it fits in perfectly with him going out with relatives in his days off/playing football twice a week and I also only need to work every second weekend. So he would be very reluctant to change his working hours to help me out because he wants me to stick with the job I'm in. But I know I would have enjoyed this other job more.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 25/04/2023 18:57

No the younger 2 are too young, and it’s way too big of an ask to ask a neighbour to walk them for half an hour at 9.30 multiple evenings a week. If your roles will always require evening work I’d say it’s time for one of you to look at other job sectors. It’s just the reality of life with 3 kids.

NeatCompactSleeper · 25/04/2023 18:57

CindersAgain · 25/04/2023 18:53

Myabe ok as a one off, but not every night. And what neighbour would want to come round every single evening?

It's not ok to leave a 3 year old and a 5 year old at home with just their 12 year old sibling.

Not even as a one-off.

Flowercat1982 · 25/04/2023 18:59

The new job wouldn't have been flexible with my hours as it's a brand new shop and have already decided on their opening times

OP posts:
Blizzard23 · 25/04/2023 19:04

Jesus Christ no. Are you out of your mind?
ss will be called. It is neglect. Anything could happen, they are much too young to deal with any emergency, intruder, a fire.

Fgs

Blizzard23 · 25/04/2023 19:05

Flowercat1982 · 25/04/2023 18:57

Thanks for everyone's opinions. No my DH wouldn't have been flexible with his starting times. He is happy with the job I'm in now as it fits in perfectly with him going out with relatives in his days off/playing football twice a week and I also only need to work every second weekend. So he would be very reluctant to change his working hours to help me out because he wants me to stick with the job I'm in. But I know I would have enjoyed this other job more.

How on earth is this even relevant how much you might enjoy your new job when you are putting your children at risk??!!

FFS

Rockbird · 25/04/2023 19:10

She's not putting her children at risk, she hasn't even got the job yet. But God forbid a woman apply for a job she will actually enjoy. Especially when the husband is too busy having a high old time to step up.

FFS yourself 🙄

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